CLOSE ENOUGH TO PERFECT

ALittleGIrlWithABigHeart

2011-03-12T17:30:00.000-08:00

On Friday evening I walked into the church for worship practice and noticed almost immediately, the woman sitting in the back of the church just silently watching and listening. I didn't think much of it even though I'd never seen her before, thinking she was a friend of one of the team members and was just hanging around waiting for us to finish.
As we got about halfway through the lineup for Sunday, I noticed that she was closing her eyes and kind of rocking back and forth...getting into the music I guess...and then a few minutes later, I noticed Montana walk over and hand her something and get into a conversation with her. I didn't worry about Montana talking to her even though I didn't know her because I could see everything that was going on from the stage and, as I said, I thought she was a visitor of one of the worship team members. I noticed that Montana didn't much stray from the side of this newcomer and briefly wondered if I should run down and tell Montana not to bug the poor woman. But figured if the lady was smiling, Montana probably wasn't bothering her too much.
We finished up practice got in our prayer circle and prayed for all those who's names had come across the prayer chain, personal prayers, and prayers thanking God for the growth we've been seeing in our church as of late. The whole time I couldn't help continuously peeking out to make sure that Montana wasn't making a nuisance of herself.
When we were done praying, I quickly headed down off the stage, surprised to see and old friend I'd not seen in about 15 years sitting in the sanctuary with his wife and son. I was excited to see them and instantly headed in their directions. As my friend was making introductions, this woman that Montana had apparently made instant friends with came over and said she "had to meet the mother of this beautiful little girl with the huge beautiful heart".
She went on, quickly giving me her name, explaining that she had "strayed" over the last couple of years, saw the lights on in the church and figured she'd take a chance and see if the doors were unlocked. She was happy to see they were, and even happier when she realized that she had happened upon our worship team practicing Sundays lineup. She then told me that at one point she just started crying and didn't even realize she was crying until my daughter went up and handed her a tissue.
She told me Montana rubbed her shoulder and asked her if she was okay. She said she would be and then Montana said, "Don't worry. Everything will be okay." This woman then explained to me that my little girl sat next to her, invited her to church this Sunday, gave her the times of the service, explained that we also have coffee and tea afterward in the fireside room, and then proceeded to tell her that if she didn't know anyone else on Sunday, she was more than welcome to sit with our family.
Now, I know a lot of people may be...irritated...if their 7 year old daughter...inadvertently...asked her family to...I don't know...let's say 'be responsible' for a complete stranger on her first visit back to church in 2 years. But the only thing I could think of to say to Montana was, "I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!"...and last night, while we had our family prayer time, she asked if we could pray for her new friend. Pray that she would be happy.
This morning before I got out of bed, Montana came in to snuggle with me. We started talking and she says to me, "Mama, do you think C***** will actually come to church on Sunday? I told her I didn't know but that we would continue to pray for her. I asked Montana what some of her conversation with this woman had been about and she told me pretty much the same things that C***** had already said to me on Friday night. But then she went into a little more depth.
Montana told me that this lady had told her that she had spent too much time over the last couple years running away from Jesus because she had been bad. She felt like Jesus was mad at her and she was afraid to come and talk to him. Then she decided that she didn't want to run anymore and was going to come and ask Jesus to forgive her. Montana told her, "You don't have to be afraid to say you're sorry to Jesus. He will forgive you no matter what you did...just like my daddy does. He won't ever stop loving you no matter what."

I hugged my baby girl, and choked up, told her again how proud I was of her. Told her that she should be very proud of herself because she was doing what God wanted her to do. Then I told her that she made a mark on someones life last night and told her that God was very proud of her too. She smiled and said, "I know. C***** told me God was proud of me after I talked to her...and God told me in my dreams last night."

I don't know if Montana's new friend will actually show up on Sunday but I pray she does. She was very obviously reaching out last night and I pray she found some of what she needed then, and will find even more tomorrow. And I know a very special little girl who will be overjoyed to sit next to her on Sunday morning and introduce her to everyone who walks by.

HaveYouEverHadADream

2009-10-20T11:15:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a dream? Something you've wanted to do so badly, but never got the chance? We all have. I know I have.
Well, my little brother Travis has always had a dream to go on a mission trip. To head out and spend time helping those in need, but he's never really been given the chance until recently. Unexpectedly, he was asked to join a group of men going on a mission trip to Mexico. He was so excited, but nervous because he has less than 2 weeks to come up with the money to cover all of his expenses.

Travis and his group of guys will be headed for Urawa Than, Mexico (just about 4 hours south of the border in The Baja) on the 29th of this month. For 10 days they will be working on/building on to 'The Mount of Olives' Orphanage and then returning on November 10th.

Travis is still looking for sponsors to come up with around $1500 to cover all of his expenses while he's gone. If you can and are willing to help, he would be extremely grateful as he's been wanting to do this kind of trip for several years. Please help him realize this dream he's had for so long. Any amount, no matter how big or small, will help him get to Urawa Than, Mexico to help make a better home for kids who don't have families to be a part of.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. God Bless.

*If you're interested in helping Travis, you can send a check or money order to:
Travis Durbin
c/o Whatcom New Life Assembly
P.O. Box 1149
Ferndale, Washington
98248
** Please make checks payable to WNLA
***Please be sure to write in the memo line: For Travis Durbin's Mission Trip

TRAVIS LEAVES VERY EARLY ON THE MORNING OF THE 29TH SO ALL CHECKS OR MONEY ORDERS MUST BE RECEIVED BY THE 27TH SO THE CHURCH HAS TIME TO TURN THEM INTO USABLE FUNDS.

AND AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!

IAmTrulyBlessed

2009-09-28T18:39:00.000-07:00

Summer is finally winding down, and we've gotten back into the school routine again. This is good. The kids are in bed by 8:30, the house is quiet, Matt and I get a few minutes to ourselves...it's good. We've had a lot going on lately, and it seems like we might just get the chance to take a breathe sometime soon.
Today, as the kids worked on their homework, I sat at my window, just looking out at the rain. In the window, I saw the reflections of my kids, the lights from the living and dining rooms, and the glow from the television. I sat there, while it was temporarily quiet, and just listened to the rain. It's really a beautiful, relaxing, sound. Comforting, knowing that I get to sit inside my house, comfortable, and watch and listen, without having to be wet or cold...very...cozy.
And then I started thinking about how I felt about this place when we first made the offer on it. It's no secret that I was not happy. Every chance I got, I told people how much I hated it, all the while, telling Matt that I would work through it. That because he wanted it so bad, I would...eventually...be happy with it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized how incredibly blessed I really am.
I love my house...not 'as is'...as we are doing a lot of remodeling starting really soon, but I love it none the less. What was a bitter disappointment to me 4 months ago, has become something I'm excited about. I am happy, knowing that soon, my house will be everything I've asked for, but mainly, just because it's mine. There are so many people that don't even have food to eat, let alone a warm home to live in, that they can call their own.
I recently had to take a friend...yes, a friend...to The Lighthouse Mission. Which will be his home for some time while he works on things in his life. At first, I felt terribly guilty and entirely sad knowing that when we told him he couldn't sleep on our couch anymore, he would have to go stay in a shelter. It felt bad knowing that we were making him leave the comfort of our home, for someplace where he had no friends, and no family. I hugged him good bye and told him I'd talk to him soon, and pasted a smile on my face as he got out and shut the door. It was not easy to watch him walk up those steps alone to face a life without a home...and I cried as soon as he entered the building...and yes, I understand it wasn't nearly as hard for me to watch him walk in those doors, as it was for him to actually walk in them.
But, after praying about it, and seeing him this last weekend, I believe that there is no reason for me to feel guilty about the things I have, or the decisions we made concerning our friend. He's doing great. He still comes to church every week, he's still keeping in touch with all of his friends, and he recently started working again and is waiting to get an apartment. I'M SO PROUD OF HIM!!!
Don't get me wrong, I feel terrible for those homeless men and women that sleep in shelters, on the streets, in parks, under bridges etc. Especially when I know that the cold weather is just around the corner. Not all of them deserve to be living the lives that they do...but I don't feel guilty for what I have either. Matt and I have worked very hard to get to where we're at and we've sacrificed much...like time with each other, or the kids, or time to do other things. I feel we have every right to be proud of us. Not just for what we have materialistically, that's the least of it. But because of what we have become as a couple, a family, best friends, and more. We've come so far emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. We are proud of US.
I spent last Saturday at Salt on the Street, an amazing ministry that our church is involved in that reaches out to the homeless to give them food, clothing, and the word of God. We lead worship, and The Fellowship of the Unashamed (a group of men from our church that have all battled addictions, and homelessness), did a small skit explaining how addictions, can press you down, and how having God in your life, can lighten the load. Asking you to come to God AS YOU ARE. They did a great job, and touched a lot of people that night.
I watched them, some family and others, friends so close they could be family and was so proud of who each of them have become. They've all fought addictions...drugs, sex, alcohol, etc...and have come up swinging, to make their lives something they can be proud of. Something that they can share with others, in hopes that it brings others to God. This group of guys are AMAZING!!...and they're all there for each other when they need it...and sometimes when they don't. I'm not a part of this group...I've never lived a 'hard' life, but I spend a very large amount of time with them. They're a great group of guys that will lift you up when you're down, hold you down if you want to get high, and hug you when you cry. These are guys that I would trust with my life. These are my friends. My brothers.
They told their 'collective' story on Saturday night...and they'll share it with you...and no, they're not always happy, they're not always kickin' back thinking life is easy...yes, they struggle...with more than one thing, but they've given their lives to God and keep pushing through, with Him being their goal.
It's heartbreaking to see the suffering that some people go through. I met people that said they'd not bathed in over 2 months, others that hadn't eaten anything in nearly 3 days, and still others who were there to get a hot meal and clothing for a child they had rescued when her mother literally threw her away because she wanted to get high instead.
I can't tell you how sad seeing that is...really. But by the end of the night, I was ecstatic!! I was happy!! I got to kiss a, once unwanted, baby girl who stole my heart, as she reached out for a stuffed rabbit that was given to her. I got to eat a hot dog with a man who stunk so bad it made my eyes water...but he was happy and incredibly friendly...and he was there listening to what we had to say with a generous smile on his face. I got a hug and a thank you from a man so drunk he could hardly stand up straight and I was told by a man who was so shy he could hardly look me in the eye and spoke so softly that I could hardly hear him, that my voice did something to him...something to make him think that God was worth thinking about. I'm not bragging. I can't tell you how much that man's words made me bawl that night. I cried like a baby because he made me feel like I could make a difference to someone...and I just KNEW that when he went to sleep that night, where ever he was, he was thinking about God.
No...I don't feel guilty for all that God has blessed me with. But, I'll share when I can...if it's the right thing to do. I'll lend a helping hand...or voice as it were...and I'll give them what has always been given to me (Thank you Mom and Dad)...the words of God. The promises of God. The knowledge that God exists and is with you...even in the hard times.

And the promise that things can get better. I know they can because I've seen it happen...because I know that some of my closest friends were once where those men and women were and they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps...no, not by themselves, but with the help of friends who cared and a God who cared even more.

TheChangesComeAndANewChapterBegins

2009-08-25T17:49:00.000-07:00

I'm loving the new house.

As most all of you know (because I've not been shy in say so)I did not like our new house when we got word that the bank had accepted Matt's offer. I was distraught. Thinking of moving into a home with no doors, no trim, and more 'potential' than I wanted to deal with.
But, I am happy to report, that after moving in, taking care of some painting, installing doors, lights, and trim...well, I'm just very happy with the progress that we've made and it's already feeling like home. Actually, last night was the very first night that it TRULY felt like home. After having dinner, when dishes were done and bathing was accomplished, we sat down for the first time, as a family, and watched a movie. With just the glow of the kitchen light seeping into the living room, with the kids stretched out on the floor and Matt and I snuggled on the couch...it was home.
Don't get me wrong, there is still a lot of changes we're going to be making. But, if we decided right now, to not do any more work on the house, many many people would be quite happy with it...but, Matt and I always have to make things just a little more complicated and it's not good enough for us yet. But, I'm happy to say that we'll be starting on the shelving for the library, probably this week, and the master bedroom and bathroom will be started sometime in the next 6 to 8 weeks or so. At least that's the plan...but you know what they say about best laid plans. Even so, we're hoping to have the library and master bedroom and bathroom completely finished before Christmas, so that we'll be completely free to start the remodel on the garage that will become the main family room in the spring.
I'm quite happy with how things are coming along. The kids have been wonderful at doing their chores without argument, and with the exception of about 4 days when I was really sick, the house has been clean. I'm still not back to normal, and get tired easily, but at least I'm able to keep up with the house and not worry about it becoming a disaster area.
We've met a few of our neighbors and we've found that one man is the father of three of the kids my mom cared for for several years when they were growing up, two worked with Matt's dad out at Intalco when we was there, and one actually worked at Oeser before Dad or Matt ever started there. It's a small small world. We met our first neighbor KID the other day when there was a quiet little knock on the door. Dakota ran down to see who was here and when he opened the door, Alex, looked at him and Montana and boldly (and very loudly) said, "You wanna be my friends?" The kids were happy to oblige and so 8 year old Alex has been here for the majority of of the day for the last 4 days. He's a good kid and all three of the rugrats get along very well.
The kids have had their first sleep over in the house, and we've realized that the walls in this place are very very thin. Dakota turned 11 on the first of August but we postponed his party as we were spending that day moving into our new house. He happily said that was fine when we told him that he could have a slumber party to celebrate later. He ended up having 3 friends overnight and they managed to stay awake...and keep me awake...until nearly 3 in the morning, with all their giggling and goofing off. But, it was a fun night for all the kids so it was worth it.
Montana will be turning 6 in a few days, and will also be starting kindergarten this year. She is very excited, but quite nervous at the prospect of being away from mommy three days a week. I'm very happy to know that I'll have three kid free days a week to take care of things that were always tough to do before...but I'm REALLY going to miss having Montana around all the time. I'm so used to her being here, it's going to feel quite strange for the first little while not to have her here...I'm sure I'll get over it though...hee hee
So that's about the jist of what's been going on around here. Things are moving at a good steady pace and I'm finding that I love our new house. Matt is thrilled beyond description, and is very happy puttering around outside finding things to do. He's already taken out some of the blackberry bushes, mowed the field, and come up with some idea's for building a pig pen (not that I'm entirely thrilled about that one).
We're back to church after being gone for a few weeks to concentrate on the house and it feels good to both of us to be back with the worship team. I can't tell you how much we missed everyone when we were gone.
With school starting in just a few days, we're about to have to begin a new routine that we've not done with two kids before. It seems like so many things are changing too fast and my kids are growing up quicker than they need to. I know I know....we all go through this as parents. But this is a brand new chapter for me...and I'm excited to see what we have in store.

TheWindsTheyAreAChangin

2009-07-17T12:59:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while since I've written, but it's just because we've been so busy. Things are really changing around here.

First off, I just wanted to tell all of you that I hope you all enjoyed your 4th of July this year. We had so much fun. We really let go this year. My parents decided that we should have a get together out at their place for the 4th. So we called a ton of friends, pulled out the games, made too much food, and spent way too much on fireworks........it's the best Independence Day we've ever had. We had a friend that worked a firework stand this year, so we took advantage of the deals he was able to get. To make a long story short, the guys were letting off fireworks for nearly 8 hours and they rivaled any 'big' show you've seen. Their finale was awesome. We had an amazing time with all of our friends. It was so fun to have so many people enjoying themselves so much...I can't wait until next year.
And, this year, Matt was in for a quick surprise. His best friend left for boot camp earlier this year and we didn't think we were going to see him again until he got back in September. Unfortunately, for sad family reasons, Gerrit got to come home on leave for a few days shortly after graduating boot camp. We kept this a secret from Matt. As the evening turned into the very early morning hours, Matt started getting very sleepy and wanted to head home, but we didn't allow him to leave. Just after 1 a.m. a car pulled into my parents place, with the headlights glaring in his face, Matt hears the car door shut and the sound of Gerrit calling out his name. It was quite the surprise for him......and he was thrilled that he hadn't left for home when he really wanted to. And although Gerrit was only hear for a few days, we got to spend some time with him before he headed back......and now, poor Matt has to wait until September before seeing him again.......LOL

In other news, Matt and I bought a house. Finally. Unfortunately, when we first saw it......I hated it. I loved the property, but absolutely hated the house.....I was not happy and for the first couple months, after making the offer on the place, I would cry like a baby every single time we talked about it or went out to look at it. I was very depressed. But I agreed to making an offer and signed the papers because I knew how much Matt loved it.....despite the no doors, no trim, split level, terribly small kitchen, ugly gray and black paint job.........In my eyes, it was everything that I DIDN'T want in a house.
But after a couple of months, when Matt was on the verge of calling it all off, I decided that I needed my attitude changed. I prayed to God to change my attitude and to help me to see the house as Matt was seeing it. Shortly after my prayer, I fell asleep and had a dream about how we changed the house........and the floorplan was perfect and the house was beautiful. So, the next day, I sat Matt down and explained what I would like to do with the house........starting with turning the existing attached garage into a large family room and repainting the outside of the house a much nicer color........Much to my surprise, Matt was thrilled with the floor plan I had come up with.....and so the planning began. (Some of the changed we'll be making: turning the existing master bedroom into a library, using the old laundry room as a walk in pantry, adding a wall to make a room for Montana, turning one of the existing bedrooms downstairs into a master bedroom/bathroom suite, turning the attached garage into a family room, turning the living room into a dining room, changing the color of the house, adding two sets of french door off the back, one from the family room and one from the master bedroom, changing all the white walls into the house that reflects our personalities, building a deck off of the family room, working it's way down to an exposed aggregate patio outside the master bedroom, and remodeling the kitchen to open up the space and making it all a big open kitchen/dining area.) I found myself getting excited about what we were going to do and now am aniticipating the move over. Yes, we'll be working on it but most of the work will be done by next summer and I figure I can live with it.......because it's going to be amazing when it's finished.......and the beautiful one and a quarter acres is a definite bonus. Not to mention it's out in Custer.......it feels like Matt and I are finally going home....and the kids are thrilled that they won't be changing school districts.

So anyway, that's what's going on with us. We will be getting in the new house next week and starting a new chapter in our lives......I hope all of you are doing well and as soon as we get internet hooked up in the new place, I'll be sure to let you all see the changes we're making. I'm very excited and hope to be able to have a big summer party next year to celebrate. Love you all and have an amazing summer!!

सो मच गोइंग ओं.........

2009-05-11T23:16:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted, but we've just been so busy and there is so much going on.

First of all, I'll let you all know that the beautiful house that I posted in my last post did not end up becoming 'our' new home. Unfortunately for us, someone made an offer over the asking price and we lost out on it. Matt and I were so upset because we had pretty much convinced ourselves that we were going to be moving into it this summer. Boy were we wrong.
So, after mourning our loss for a few days, we got back on the horse and continued looking for a new home that had our names on it......AND....just a few weeks ago, Matt found the home he fell in love with.......well, he found the SHOP he fell in love with. He knew right away that he wanted to make an offer on it........and I was not thrilled. I loved the property and the area, but the house is definitely not my dream home. Actually, it has nothing to offer that we have previously been looking for.....but Matt just kept telling me that it had potential. So, with my blessing, and the agreement that we are going to entirely remodel the house, he made the offer. He was kind of nervous at first because we found out that there were also three other offers on the house. (He was more nervous than I, as I was hoping they were going to accept someone elses offer....LOL) BUT.....low and behold, our offer was the one they accepted. So we continued to move forward. I was not happy with our 'potentially' beautiful home. But, over the last few weeks, after speaking with Matt at length about the changes we would make, I've come to accept the fact and am looking forward to finally getting out of Bellingham.
The house is a 2136 square foot split level with three bedrooms. Here is a basic list of the remodeling we'll be doing over the next couple of years. We'll be making the existing master bedroom, which is upstairs, into the family room and building an extra room downstairs that will be the master bedroom and adding a master bath downstairs as well. Unfortunately for the kids, they'll be sharing a room until this process is done. Then we'll be adding a couple more walls to make another bedroom for one of the kids.
We'll also be making the room, right at the landing as you walk in the front door, into a small library. We'll be knocking out the wall between the kitchen and the formal living room to open up the space, as well as ripping up the carpet on the top floor in order to install hardwood flooring. We'll be redoing the kitchen with new cabinets and more, and changing the paint colors of the interior as well as the exterior.
That's just some of the stuff that we want to do to the house, as well as whatever Matt has planned for the property. When it's all done, it should be a whole new house that I'm hoping to love.....and, on the upside, both of the kids are thrilled with the new place and are looking forward to moving this summer.....even if they do have to share a room for a little while.
I know. I know. Many women have told me I'm totally crazy to have agreed to all of this, but if they loved Matt like I do, and could see the excitement he's 'exuding' they would have done the same thing. He's so excited and happy and it seems, other than his upcoming fishing trip, to be the only thing he can think about......LOL.
So, tomorrow afternoon, we go through all the mandatory inspections, and if all turns out well, then we should get the keys the beginning of July. And then it's a summer of moving and putting our house in order.......so that we can put our house in order.........LOL

In other news, Dakota decided he wanted to play baseball again this season and loves every minute of it......even when he has to practice in the cold, and sometimes the rain. He's on one of the top teams and so far, they've only lost 2 games. He's got a great coach and is on a team with some really awesome kids. He's really hoping that he can play on the same team next year and Matt and Dad are hoping they'll get a chance to sponsor his team. I've really enjoyed meeting the other parents as they're all great people and they're fun to sit and watch the games with. I'm sure we've all embarrassed our children more than once.....LOL

Montana is excited to be moving soon and is really looking forward to starting school in September. She's so excited that she'll be able to make a bunch of new friends and ride the bus with her big brother. She's a firecracker and I'm sure is going to give her new teacher a run for her money this next year. Hopefully I'm not called into the office too often.......LOL

Matt's busy busy busy.......as always. Oeser is keeping him on his toes and he's working extra hard at the mill to make all the money we'll need for remodeling the new place. Although, secretly, I think he's enjoying it all the more because he knows the money he's making is going to make his new house, our perfect home.
He's excited as well, to be leaving on Wednesday morning for the chartered halibut trip he's taking with his dad, uncle, and grandfather....as well as my own uncle. He's been looking forward to it for the last couple months and is now trying to make sure all is in order before he leaves on Wednesday morning. I'm glad he's getting to go. It should be a great time for him and the upside is I get some fresh halibut on his return.......yummy.......I'm definitely more excited about this trip than his last chartered fishing trip, in which he looted 200 lbs. of tuna.....good, but not 200 lbs. good.......LOL

As for me, I'm keeping myself busy with getting ready for the move, getting Dakota to his games twice a week, helping Montana be ready for kindergarten, doing what I can to help Gram with all her medical stuff, being the happy little wifey for Matt, and singing on the worship team at church. It's a busy life around here, but I love it.
Although, the house isn't what I was dreaming of for Matt and I and the kids, I'm being optimistic and believing that sooner than later, it will be. And I'm looking forward to finally being out of Bellingham and back out in Custer. Closer to my parents and closer to my bestest bud Shel.......who's going to be helping me arrange my new kitchen and house for the summer since I suck at it and she's trying to find things to keep her busy while her hubby is away at boot camp. Should be a fun and busy summer.

I hope all of you mom's out there had as wonderful a Mother's Day as I did. I was awaken by the kids to handmade cards and pictures, and a beautiful card that Matt picked for me that made me cry. I know he took great pains in picking it because the words written on the card, as well as the short letter inside that he had written to me, made me cry. It was beautiful and I'll be sure to keep it forever.
We went to church and then Matt and the kids surprised me with lunch at Mykonos. And, because they all know how much I love it, we spent the afternoon and early evening just driving. We ended up somewhere south of Darrington and it was the funnest trip ever.
I know, it doesn't sound like the greatest of gifts to just spend the entire day in the car just driving around with absolutely no destination in mind, but I love our drives. It's always the time that the four of us spend the most time talking....about anything that comes to mind......and laughing so hard we cry. We all had so much fun and I don't think that Matt and the kids really realize how much I love our times driving. I get to rediscover my kids, and remember all the wonderful things I love about my husband....especially the way he can make me laugh so hard I can hardly breathe.......even after 12 years together. He and the kids have a sense of humor that I treasure more than anything...And then on the way home, we stopped in Mt. Vernon and had strawberry waffles and ice cream for dinner. All in all, it was the most perfect day.

It's so hard sometimes, as mom's, to realize that our families appreciate the things that we do for them. The day to day can be hard, grinding, tiring work and it seem that we're forgotten in the process sometimes. But, if you ever wonder if your kids really care about what you do for them, or if your husband remembers that he's supposed to love you for more than just being a wife or mom, just take a drive in your car. Turn off the radio, don't worry about your destination point, and just talk. If you drive long enough, you soon learn, that they DO appreciate you. More than you ever thought. If you give it time, and start a few conversations, you'll discover all the reasons why they love you.....and you may even rediscover why you love them so much.......and why you continue to do all the things you do, even when it seems to go unnoticed.......

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY. MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU MOM, WIFE, LOVER, SISTER, DAUGHTER, GRAND DAUGHTER, AND FRIEND.

Oh, and please forgive the scribbling, which is supposed to be my heading.....I don't know why it came out like that, and for some reason, I can't seem to figure out how to change it.........hhhmmm.......

We Made An Offer

2009-03-24T00:20:00.000-07:00

So I've gotten a bunch of questions about the house hunting that Matt and I have been doing so I thought I'd give ya the lowdown.

We made an offer on a house last week......and it kind of comes with a story.

A couple of years ago, we went and looked at a house that was listed for sale on Enterprise Rd. When we got there, we realized that it was WAY out of our price range. So over the last couple of years, we've driven by it just to see what kind of things the new owners were doing to it. What kind of changes they were making.
We would always drive by, wishing that we could afford it on one income but knew it was impossible right now since they were asking $335,000. That was before fixing our credit report and pushing it to the 'excellent' status....not an easy task and one we worked on for several years. Then, when it was done, we drove by the house again, just to see how things had changed over the last year or so.....hoping we just might get lucky and find out that it was for sale again. When we got there, we noticed that there were foreclosure papers on the door.
So, we called our real estate agent and had her check it out for us. Sure enough, it was going into auction the following Saturday. So, we waited to see if it would sell........it didn't.....not in this market. As soon as it didn't sell, our real estate agent was on the phone trying to find out what we needed to do in order to make an offer on it. She was informed that it was reverting back to the owners for one month, in order for them to try and save the place. On March 13th it reverted back to the bank that holds the original mortgage. Upon calling them, we were informed that the owners still owed $222,000 on the original mortgage and the bank was going to list it again at $248,000. So, on the 14th, we made an offer.
The bank that owns it, is out of Georgia, so even though the property is in Ferndale, we still have to abide by Georgia State property laws.....meaning they have to list it before they can accept or reject any offers. As of right now, our offer is sitting on a desk, waiting for the second that the home is listed.

So.....now we're playing the waiting game. Chances are we'll have to make another offer, since we kind of low balled our offer, but there is a very good chance that the house that Matt and I have been wanting for the last two years will be ours.......and at around $100,000 less than what they were asking for it less than a year ago.......YAY!! So, keep us in your prayers. We are hoping that the reason we havent' agreed on a home or found one to our liking over the last couple of years is because this is the home that God has in mind for us.

Here are some pictures of the house we really hope to make a home:

Thoughts About Mom: Dakota Matthew ~ 10 Years Old

2009-03-02T18:29:00.000-08:00

1. What is something mom always says to you?
Did you have a good day at school?

2. What makes mom happy?
When Dad actually gets home on time and skips working at the mill to surprise us.

3. What makes mom sad?
When Dad puts off fixing your car and then goes and spends a lot of money on his truck.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
By going completely nuts to the music in the car.....like when you pretend to be a rapper for Toby Mac.....

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Um.....young.......

6. How old is your mom
old

7. How tall is your mom?
More than 3'8" like Montana said.

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Go shoe shopping with your sister....if you have money to spend.

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Take a shower and then take a nap.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
You would become the best female singer in the world except Gretchen Wilson and Hannah Montana.

11. What is your mom really good at?
Typing

12. What is your mom not very good at?
You're not good at killing spiders because they freak you out and you say they're really freaking fast and you don't know where the heck they go........and they can make you lose your breath because they scare you so much.

13. What does your mom do for a job?
You're a freaking awesome mom with great hair.

14.What is your mom's favorite food?
Spaghetti

15.What makes you proud of your mom?
When you sing in church........remember? because that's what I did.......I yelled out That's my mom! and everybody stared at me.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Bessie from Back at the Barnyard because you're a sarcastic smart aleck and I'm your karma.

17. What do you and your mom do together?
Sing in the car and make meatloaf.......and make iced tea.

18. How are you and your mom the same?
We are both pains in the neck to our mom's.......like I said, I'm your karma........da da da

19. How are you and your mom different?
You're a girl and I'm a boy.

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Because it's against the law for you not to love me and the police would take me away if you didn't.......oh, and you cry when I'm gone for more than a day or two because you miss me.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
His muscles and his butt

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
Church

Thoughts About My Mom: Montana Marie ~ 5 Years Old

2009-03-02T12:33:00.000-08:00

1. What is something mom always says to you?
I love you

2. What makes mom happy?
When we go to bed on time.

3. What makes mom sad?
When you have to ask us to do our chores over and over and over again your face looks sad.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?
By tickling me and acting goofy in the kitchen.

5. What was your mom like as a child?
Well, I haven't seen you as a child. How should I know?

6. How old is your mom
21 (Dang.......I knew I loved this little girl!)

7. How tall is your mom?
Um......I bet you're taller than me so I'll say 3'8"

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
You like to laugh.....cuz you laugh, like, a lot.

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
Make out with Dad...........(LOL!!!)

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
singing to the world

11. What is your mom really good at?
Putting us to bed.....well, Daddy's better but you're pretty good too.

12. What is your mom not very good at?
Your not good at NOT arguing with dad.....but it's okay cuz ya always make out afterwards. (Once again.....LOL!!!)

13. What does your mom do for a job?
You show us how to be good grown ups for when we become grown ups. (I like this answer. It's a good answer.)

14.What is your mom's favorite food?
Salad (Not my FAVORITE, but one of them)

15.What makes you proud of your mom?
She lets me live in her house and tells me she loves me even when I've been bad.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Little Bears Mama because you are a mom and you love me like she loves little bear

17. What do you and your mom do together?
We make cookies that you let me and Dakota have because you don't eat sweets a lot.

18. How are you and your mom the same?
Because we're both girls and we have the same hair. (We totally do. The only difference in our hair is that I spend a lot of money to make mine look different.....LOL)

19. How are you and your mom different?
Well, you're bigger than me and I'm littler than you.........duh.......(Yes, she actually said, "duh")

20. How do you know your mom loves you?
Because you tell me that I am your favorite teddy bear when I snuggle with you in the mornings.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?
Well, he sometimes comes home for dinner on time and you always tell him he looks yummy......and you guys kiss a lot so I guess you like his lips too.

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
You like to go out to dinner with the whole family. You like your mommy and daddy so we see them for dinner a lot sometimes.

Dakota's Essay: Two Special People

2009-02-06T16:57:00.000-08:00

Dakota came home from school today and told me that he had the first draft to his essay done. He asked if he could read it to me so I could make any changes that might be necessary....The title of the essay is 'Two Special People' and it was supposed to be about 1 person that he admired most and why.....he pulled his teacher aside the other day and asked if he could use two people instead of just one, because he just couldn't choose between them........
This is his essay.....

Two Special People
Two people that stand out of my family, to me, are my mom and dad because they are always there for me. If I am sad they're there to comfort me. If I am mad they are always there to talk about it with me.
One time, I was mountain biking with my friend on my birthday and we made a track with jumps, turns, slides, and a down hill race at the end. There were two of us. My dad came with us to watch as I was doing a good job until the downhill race. We thought, "If we go up the hill higher, we could pick up speed." So, I thought that was fine so we went up. I said to Bradly, "You can go first." .......because I wanted to see if it was safe and he went down without a care in the world. Then my turn.
I pushed off and started down the hill.......then hit a tree root. My bike went bazaar and I went head over heals. Face first in the mud.
My dad jumped 2 1/2 feet in the air and ran over to me and picked me up and brushed me off. The first thing he said to me was, "You were WAY faster than Bradley. You were probably doing 30 miles an hour!"
He walked me to the table and my mom started asking me questions and worrying about me. Then my dad and mom convinced me to try it again. But when I went downhill, I didn't go any higher.
Another reason why my mom and dad are the two people in my family that stand out is because they take me and my sister everywhere with them. One time, my mom and dad took us to a hotel and got us the best room. The biggest one. The bathtub was as big as my bed....and my bed is big. We could all fit in it. I loaded it with soap and I got in. I was in there for 2 hours!
After that they took us to a fancy restaurant in the hotel with stuffed animal heads on the walls, really nice carpets, art work, and it even had a cougar posed to look like it was chasing turkeys. The place had great food and after that we sat up really late and watched t.v. Mom and dad said they just wanted to spend time with us and have fun.
They've also taken us to stay in really nice hotels in Seattle and taken us to the aquarium, Pikes place market, The Old Spaghetti Factory (my favorite place to eat), and all over Seattle because it's one of our favorite things to do as a family.
As you can see, these are just a few of the reasons that explain why my mom and dad are the two people that I care about the most and will never forget. I love them more than anything and they love me more than that.

.....Okay, so how incredibly awesome is my son?!!!!

I'm More Than Happy To Take The Chance.......

2008-12-20T00:01:00.000-08:00

Matt came home today after work and asked me what was for dinner. I told him that I was going to make BLT's.....he said it sounded good, but that we should wait until tomorrow night. When I asked why, he told me that he had gotten a bonus Christmas check from his boss, and was taking the kids and I out for dinner tonight. To The Olive Garden....our favorite place to eat out.
After an awesome meal, he decided to make a quick trip to Wal-Mart to buy a new DVD player since ours decided to peeter out on us last night. And then, as a treat, he decided that a trip to Cold Stone Creamery was in order. So, all in all we had a really nice family evening.
On the way home, happy and full, we came to a stoplight. And standing there, in the freezing cold wind, shivering beyond control, was a homeless man, struggling uphill with two shopping carts full of stuff, that were stuck in the ice.
My first thought was, "He's freezing out there." My second thought was, "I need to give him some money." So, I rolled down my window, and handed him the last 12 dollars I had in my purse. He smiled, said, "God Bless you. Merry Christmas. I hope you have a wonderful new year." I smiled back, thinking about how cold his gloveless hands were, when I handed him the money, and said, "God Bless you too. Merry Christmas."

Now, I've been given a lot of flack over the years, because I very frequently hand money to the homeless people that stand on the side of the road. Many people have said the phrase, "They're just going to spend it on booze.".......and unfortunately, this has been proven correct more than a couple of times. I remember one time, when I gave a man $5 and Matt told me he was going to spend it on alcohol and my response was my usual, "Maybe he won't." We were on our way to Denny's for dinner.......and 20 minutes later, the man I had given money to, walked in and headed straight to the bar. I consoled myself by telling myself that he was just more comfortable in the darker light, and was only going to buy coffee and a hot meal. And, because most of the homeless around here are the same homeless we see everyday, you get to know them by sight. And yes, I've seen others I've given money to, swigging on a bottle. It's a sad cycle that is so hard to break.

But, I am a softy. I always have been. I'm always the one rooting for the underdog, and giving people the benefit of the doubt. I'm always the one that will trust anyone, until they give me reason not to.

Matt and I got into a discussion about this this evening on the way home. (Don't get me wrong, Matt is not heartless. He has been known to give money to the homeless too, just not as much as I do....and he never 'gets on my case' about it. He knows it's just something I do and most of time just smiles at me and shakes his head, then calls me a softy.) Matt asked me why I always give money to the homeless. And the only answer I could come up with was this........

Tonight, we spent nearly $100 on dinner for the four of us, we have christmas presents under the tree, we bought ourselves a new DVD player, and took the kids out for ice cream........and we still have money in our pockets. We were sitting in a nice warm car, coming home to a nice warm house, that is decorated with a couple hundred dollars worth of christmas decorations........all of this bought on the 'extra' money that we didn't have earmarked for something else. We are in the process of looking for a home to buy.....a home that will be ours. Our children need for nothing. We both have incredibly loving and wonderful families that we are close to, our children are getting a great education,and hopefully will have the resources to continue their education out of high school. We go to an incredible church, with wonderful people, that we trust and love as our own family.
Tonight, I get to go to sleep in a nice warm bed, snuggling with my nice warm husband, knowing that my kids are sleeping peacefully in their nice warm beds snuggling with their favorite stuffed animal or blanket.........so unlike the man I saw freezing in the cold tonight.

Anyone can tell me that I'm throwing my money away by giving a few dollars here and there to someone begging for it. Yes, there are homeless people out there that don't do anything to better themselves or their chances for a better life.....but, there are those out there that truly need it. When someone says to me, "They just need to get a job, I'll say, "Who would you hire if you had a business that dealt with the public? The man who came in well dressed and well educated or the one who comes in smelling bad, unwashed, in clothes that have seen their fair share of bad days? They're already not appealing to you, which one will be appealing to the public. Which one of them would you hire to work for you?"

Homelessness is a vicious cycle, as well as alcoholism. Once you've gotten yourself so far in a hole, it's not easy to get yourself out. No, I've never been there. I don't ever intend to be, I have a family and friends that would never allow me to be. Alcoholism, being hooked on drugs, it's not something that you can just 'give up' and get along without....it's a disease that doesn't just 'go away' because you want it to. It takes a lot of work, and help from people that care about you, and you have to care about yourself.....this is something that I HAVE seen first hand, with friends and family that I care about that have gone through it. But, I am happy knowing, that I may have helped put just one hot meal into a cold body, even if 10 others just added cheap wine. And I will continue to help when I can.

I have been truly blessed. No, I don't have an enormous house, or fancy cars, or the money to travel around the world, but I have a roof over my head, food on the table, happy kids, and a loving husband who provides as well as he is able. I love a caring and loving God who provides for me and my loved ones, with an abundance that I don't deserve. No, I don't feel guilty about the things that we are blessed with. Matt and I have worked hard, separately and together, to get the things we have. But, without God's providing, our determination to make a good life for our kids, and the love and support of our families and each other, we wouldn't have what we have.
We have enough to share, even if it's only a few dollars when we can.

So, when I go to bed tonight, I will say a special prayer for that homeless, cold and shivering man. I'll ask God to hold him in his hands, and keep him safe and warm. I'll pray that he didn't spend his money on bad things, and bought himself something useful, like a pair of gloves to warm his cold hands. I'll asked God to bless him in some special way. I'll pray that he has somewhere warm to sleep through the cold winter, and I'll pray, that he knows or gets to know, my loving and caring God. And if I'm told, "He probably just spent it on alcohol...or drugs.....or whatever.".....I'll say, "........maybe he didn't."

Don't know if I'm going to get Christmas cards out.

2008-12-09T22:08:00.000-08:00

So, things have been crazy busy around here lately, and I'm not quite sure if I'm going to be able to get out Christmas cards to all of you, so, I decided that I would write a bit of an update so's ya'll can see how we're doing.

The kids and I decided that we wanted to decorate the house before Matt was ready, so we started without him. We bought a Christmas tree yesterday (first fake one ever but we love it), and before Matt got home, put it together and had it ready for lights. Since Matt strings tree lights better than anyone, we let him do that part. After that was done, it was bed time for the kids so we put off decorating until tonight. When we got home, the kids put the stuff on the tree.....all by themselves.....and I must say, they did an excellent job. I only had to move 2 bulbs to satisfy my anal obsession to have things symmetrical. The tree looks beautiful.
Once that was done, we strung blue lights around the windows and added some bigger bulbs in the same colors we used on the tree to round it all out. The kids were excited when it was all done and the place looks so 'christmasy'.
We're still planning on getting lights on the outside of the house. We've settled on icicle lights on the eves, and around the windows, and red candles in the window sills. We've also got some shiny red garland and big red bows for the porch outside the front, but we're not quite sure of that yet. I can't wait till it's done. The kids and I are really getting in the festive mood now.........we're working on Matt.....he's getting there, but it's a slower process....hee hee.

Most of you know that Matt and I have been looking for a house out in Custer to buy. We've never owned a house before and we've been looking for just the right place. We don't want to move into a house, just to gain equity, then sell it in a few years for a bigger or better place. We want someplace that we will be happy in, at least until the kids are out of high school. We've come across a few places and none of them have been right. BUT, we may have just found the place. We went and looked at a place tonight that has definite potential. It's not really a 'fixer upper' but there are things that we don't like that we can easily change. I.E. different paint colors, a fence around the property, and some nice landscaping. It's only on 1 acre which is less than we had originally wanted, but we really like the property. Nice copse of tree out back, very nice, large front yard, 4 bedrooms, 1.75 bath, 2 car garage....and the biggest seller for Matt....it's a stick built home and not a manufactured home. We've not completely decided if we want to make an offer yet, but we're hashing it out, figuring the changes we would want to make before moving in and whatnot. I'll be sure to let ya'll know when we've made a decision. We're praying that God gives us a sure sign of weather or not this is the right place for us. We'll see how things go.

The kids are doing great. Montana is trying so hard to learn to write all of her ABC's and she wants to read so bad it hurts. We're working on it and I'm sure she will be beyond ready to start kindergarten in September. She's already excited, knowing that at the turn of the year, this is the year she get's to start school.
Dakota is as busy as ever. He's still very involved with the student council at his school, which still keeps me busy as well. My most recent school adventure was helping out with the book fair. Man oh man, what a job that was. But, it was a lot of fun, and I got a ton of good books for the kids that they'll be receiving under the Christmas tree.
Matt is still working his butt off at Oeser and then spending 3 or 4 nights a week out at the mill trying to fill orders. I guess with all the 'decent' weather we've had around here, more people are still working on their houses and still need lumber. Having no snow and no temps below zero is good for business. I do have to say, though, that he's been spending a lot more time at home over the last few months, which we are enjoying tremendously, and I even came home from church last week to an early Christmas present from him and the kids. When I left, the kids still had to have dinner, and the house was a disaster area. When I got home 3 hours later, the kids were fed, the house was clean, homework was done, the kids were bathed, and waiting to head to bed. WOW!!!! Talk about the most incredible christmas present in the world!!! (Am I a mom or what?.......LOL)
As for me, I've been helping out at Kota's school as much as possible, keeping the home fires burning, singing with the church's worship team, and a few other things that I'll bring up later when I'm ready to share. Long story short, I'm keeping busy and looking forward to the future. It is indeed looking bright.

I hope all of you are looking forward to the holiday season. I also pray that we all remember why we celebrate Christmas in the first place. Jesus Christ. Without his love and support, I wouldn't have the wonderful, happy, love filled life that I do. I pray often and thank God every day for the gifts he's given me, even though I don't deserve them.

I love all of you and wish you all a very Merry Christmas, and may all your dreams come true in the coming year.

Oh, and I just wanted to put in a little P.S. here: Many of you know that my nephew Brian has been diagnosed recently with autism. We've all suspected it from the time he was a baby. I just wanted to let all of you know, that your prayers concerning my little sugar booger have been answered. He's a wonderful little boy and has been making GREAT strides over the last few months. He's listening more, interacting more, and deifinitely talking more.........he even says Auntie Tia....over and over and over and over again.........LOL. It just makes me the happiest Auntie in the world!!
Anyway, just wanted to give ya'll an little update. Have a great Christmas!!

Dear Kota & Tana: We've Seen History In The Making

2008-11-05T20:31:00.000-08:00

KotaMan & TanaGirl~

I know that one day, this will all be a dim memory for the two of you, but yesterday, we witnessed history in the making......yesterday was 'Election Day 2008'.
The runners were John McCain & Sarah Palin, and Barack Obama & Joe Biden. This was truly a historical event because no matter who was to win the election, there was going to be something new in The White House. A First Black President, or a First Female Vice President....yes, history in the making.
And, although the election didn't turn out the way I was hoping it would, I realize the significance of it all. This election alone, shows how incredibly far this nation has come in the last 100 years. Amazing really. Where once, women had no voice where politics were concerned, there was a woman who's voice was standing out above all others. A woman who would have made history by sitting at the right hand side of the president. A woman who made history just by running. Amazing. And, where once slavery ruled, where blacks and whites were separated, in so many many ways, where blacks were ruled over and made to feel less than nothing, we now have a very strong, charismatic black man sitting in the oval office, in charge of running this country. Amazing.....So, you see, our country has come so incredibly far.

No, as I said, the election did not turn out as I was hoping. Barack Obama will be sworn in as president in January. And, although I don't agree with most all of the things he wants to do, I do plan to stand up tall and proud, as an American, and a Christian, and respect him. I may not agree with all he stands for, but I will support him in any way I can, as long as it doesn't interfere with my belief in God. The country's people have spoken, and they've spoken very loudly. Barack Obama is our president. John McCain, although the man I was truly praying would be voted in to run this country, lost. And he lost big. He ran a good fight and I'll never forget his concession speech. I truly believe he is an amazing man, with more integrity that most of us are gifted with. I believe he truly loves this country, and although he lost, I believe he will stand behind our president, and try to help make the country we live in and love, the best country in the world.

I just wanted you two to know that. You were here when history was made. You saw things happen that so many people never believed would.

Montana, I know you probably won't remember this election. You are only 5. But, I want you to know, that you were there. You were a part of the reason your dad and I voted the way we did. One day, you will be able to tell your grandchildren, "I was there. I saw it happen........I don't remember it.......but I was there. It happened in my lifetime." I love you Baby Doll.

Dakota, I am so proud of you. When I was 10 I couldn't have cared less about politics. Heck, I didn't even know what politics were. But you, with your sharp mind, your love of people, and your constant interest to learn, proved to me, that kids do have a voice and they understand more than we give them credit for. Take that on and carry it with you always. YOU are an amazing kid and you will go so far in your life. I love you.

The two of you are God's greatest gift to me.

All My Love~
Mama

THE FIRST FAMILY

A Few Things On My Mind

2008-11-01T22:50:00.000-07:00

I was watching the news this afternoon, and there was a story about a baptist church in Indiana, who is making it their mission to recruit people with the pretext of hating gays and lesbians. They started with a very small group of people and have grown to 5 or 7 thousand. According to the news, they spew hatred, and some of their main teaching revolves around God hating gays and lesbians............(I'm sorry I don't have the exact name of the church or their website. I was not going to try and remember it because there was no way I was going to 'hit' their website.)

I'm not ashamed to say, this completely TICKED ME OFF!!! It has been bothering me ALL day long. I can't seem to get it out of my head.

All of you know where I stand on my faith. I believe in God, and am not afraid to tell people so. What makes me the most angry is that these people, spewing such hatred, are putting words in GOD'S mouth! They say they believe in the same God I do, but I can tell you that the God I believe in, and love, DOES NOT hate gays and lesbians. He loves them just as much as he love me. In God's eyes, all sin is the same. He hates sin....period. He does NOT hate the person who acts out the sin. No sinner is better than another in God's eyes.

So, that being said, who is anyone to think they are better than ANYONE else? EVERYONE SINS.....EVERYONE.......it is in us from the day we are born.....(Psalms 51:5 'Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me'.)
1 Kings 8:46 says: 'for there is no one that does not sin'. Romans 3:23 says: 'For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.'........did you read that the same way I did?.....ALL. In the bible, in the book of John, chapter 8, the pharisees bring a woman to Jesus who had been caught in adultry. They explain to him, that, by law, her punishment is to be stoned to death and Jesus says to them: "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." (John 8:7 NIV)
I guess the thing that makes me so angry about this 'church' is that they promote dissension, they judge, and they are telling absolute fabrications about the God that I believe in. They put a stigmata, so to speak, on all believers in Christ. My God does not hate people, he hates sin. ALL SIN. Not just the sins of some people and not others. And all sin is the same in His eyes.

No, I don't believe in the 'gay' lifestyle.....but that does not mean, that I can't love a gay person. I know many gays and lesbians, and am friends with many. I may not agree with their lifestyle, but I don't have to. I also have friends, very good friends, that do not believe in my lifestyle........that I spank my kids if I feel they need it, that I believe in a God that they don't, that I'm a republican, or that when all is said and done, I will concede to my husband on most all things, and that HE is the head of this family and when he stands on a decision he's made, even if I may not agree with it, I'll stand behind him.

I have come to learn over the past few years, that you don't have to have the same beliefs as people, to love them, and to be their friend. Even a very good friend.

I belong to a wonderful church that I have been a part of since I was about 13 years old. When Matt and I started dating, I turned from that church for a long time. I didn't turn from my belief in God, but I did turn from the church. Matt and I moved in together before we were married. I knew it was wrong, and at the time, I didn't care. But, I foolishly thought, that I would not be accepted by my church because of that. I was wrong. Yes, in my eyes, in God's eyes, in the eyes of my parents, and my church family, I was sinning. I grew up with the belief that you were not to move in with anyone until you were married. BUT, many times, I received phone calls, letters, and words of encouragement, to come back.........and to bring my live in boyfriend with me. They still loved me! No, they didn't agree with what I was doing........BUT THEY STILL LOVED ME!!

Over the last 18 years, many people have walked through the doors of my church. Sinners of all magnitudes. Drug addicts, thieves, sex offenders, alcoholics, adulterers, gamblers, and many more.........and we loved them. We accepted them into our church and prayed for them.........and WE LOVED THEM THE WAY GOD LOVES US.....WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. It's not our place to judge. Only God can judge. ONLY God.

So, if I could say something to this 'baptist' church in Indiana it would be this:

Who are you? Who is this God you believe in that hates people? I don't know him. The God I know loves everyone.......even you with your hatred spewing out your front doors and on your website. And I will love others the way God has taught us to do. Please read your bible. You might be surprised to find that your teachings are wrong. God hates no human being. He just hates sin.........ALL sin. You and I are no better than anyone else.

Seriously, how do you truly bring people to God without loving them? No matter who they are or what they are doing?

Another Season

2008-10-11T12:33:00.000-07:00

Pretty much all my life, I've loved Summer and hated the winter. But, as I get older, things about me change, and my love of the seasons is a thing about me that is not the same as it always was.
I always loved summer best growing up.....no school, summer vacations, spending time hanging out with my friends with no place to be.....and it always seemed that it didn't last long enough. Fall would roll around and I would be upset because summer was over and it was back to the same old grind. But, now that I'm.....ahem.......31...and a wife and mom, I find myself looking forward to the changing of the seasons. Summer is 'just long enough' and by the time it's over, I'm ready to start the new school year and see the changing colors of the world around me (and no, it's not just because I'm ready to send Dakota back to school.....although that IS a bonus.......LOL). By the time school rolls around, I'm ready for Matt to be home a little more often during the week. I'm ready for getting back into the school routine.....drop Kota at school, pick Kota up from school, hit the store if we need to, come home, feed the dogs, do the chores, help with homework, make dinner, spend the rest of the evening hanging out as a family.........yeah, it's pretty much the same every day, give or take, and I love it. I love being able to just look around me and feel, "This is how it's supposed to be."
I get excited to see the changing of the colors........is there anytime more beautiful than the fall? Seriously!! It's like the world is decorating itself just for our pleasure....yes, I know it rains more in the fall but, I guess I'm a true Washingtonian through and through, born and raised, because I love the rain. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I really believe there is a special feeling in those gray days where the only colors you see, are the colors that the trees are wearing and the green of the grass. It almost reminds me of the black and white photos that emphasize only one color to make the picture 'POP'........you may think I'm nuts, but I love it all.
Then it's time for winter. I used to hate winter. I hated the cold weather. Absolutely detested it. And although, I'm not a huge fan of cold weather now, I do enjoy the nights at home, fire warming the house, and more family time because the days are shorter and Matt makes it home a bit more. We get to spend most of our family time together during the winter. I guess that would be why Winter, although cold and dark by 4 o'clock, is rapidly becoming my favorite season. No, I'm not a skier, I spend most of the winter indoors, unless I can't avoid it, but, this is when we have most of our special family time. This is when we get to have Matt home more often and..........AND.............IT'S CHRISTMASTIME!!!
I hear so many people complaining about the hustle and bustle of Christmas and it makes me feel sad for them. I love it. I don't mind the running around, the fighting traffic, and the picking my way through crowds to find the perfect gift for someone.......of course, I've discovered the joys of internet shopping so there IS a bit less of fighting crowds now.......LOL.
And when Christmas is over, and the new year begins, I ALWAYS start it off by telling myself, "This is going to be a great year." Luckily for me, I've never had to call myself a liar because each year seems to get a little bit better than the one before it.
When the end of February rolls around, I'm thinking, "I'm sure ready for spring.". I really love spring too. The kids and I, always look for the baby cows, in a field next to the freeway when we get on the on ramp. It's something we do every single time we drop Kota at school and pick him up. Trying to count them all before they're out of site.
When spring comes, I'm ready for the gray days to be behind us, because even though I love the gray days, too much of a good thing is not a good thing........LOL. Of course, you may think I'm crazy but that's how I feel about sunshine too.........
When spring comes, I'm ready for the way the sun shines just a little to bright. I'm ready for the longer days, and the warmer weather. I'm ready for the anticipation of the school year finally coming to an end. And, you know what else I love about spring?.........the smell. I love the smell of spring. I don't know if it's the flowers blooming, or the sun shining and warming things up or what.....all I know is that is smells clean and fresh, and like no other season. Of course, we also get to be bombarded with the smells of fresh cut grass as everyone clambers to start getting their lawns in order and that is a smell that is just plain unbeatable.
And then here comes summer. I really like summer, but I can't say that it's my favorite time of the year anymore. I do like it. I love all the extra time I get to spend with Dakota, I love not having to decide a schedule around weather or not it's a school night. I love being able to take the kids to do things that we don't normally do, and I LOVE our family vacations. Nothing beats Matt taking a week or two off of work just so we can do something special as a family.
But, with summer, also comes longer days. Which are fun and there is a lot you can do in one long day of summer, but summer is also Matt's busiest time of year and because of that, the time of year where we see the least of him. When you have longer days, you have more hours to do the things you can't do in the winter time. And, when you own a business that solely deals with providing wood to people so they can build things (fences, decks, houses, furniture, etc.), it's mostly done in the summer hours when the weather is nice and sunny, and not raining on everything you're doing.
I guess what I'm getting at, is that just as a season is coming I'm ready for it.......and just when it's leaving, I'm ready for that too.
God has plans for us. Not only does he provide the seasons in which we live, there are also seasons in our lives. Childhood, teenagerdom, young adult, marriage, having our own children, middle age, the 'golden' years, (feel free to add your own seasons in here)......so many seasons. And I know, that as I pass through each of these seasons, I'm ready for them when they come and go. Yeah, some are better than others. Some are incredibly wonderful and some just downright suck, but each one has something special. Maybe a lesson to be learned, a special friend, or a new job. A new baby, an old friend, or maybe just a new insight. Whatever the case may be, God has a plan. We may not always understand it, we may not always agree with it, but he has a plan. And he knows much better than we do, when it's time to bring in a new season and get out of the old. He understand more than us, which seasons need the rain and which seasons need the sun........and he knows which seasons we just need to smell the fresh cut grass.

Check out my new nephew!!!

2008-09-26T21:50:00.001-07:00

http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stj5/public/stj5birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h5-11135

HE'S FINALLY HERE!!!!....and a few more updates.....

2008-09-24T22:14:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited. Last night, Teresa finally went into the hospital and my new little nephew, Joey Paul Lee Durbin, graced us with his presence.........AND HE'S TOTALLY PERFECT!!
Thankfully this pregnancy and birth was much easier on Teresa than when she had Hannah. It was pretty uneventful, which we're ALL thankful for......although we didn't ever think Joey was going to come out and meet his family. He liked being inside Mommy way too much.....LOL. She had her circlauge (sp?) taken out three weeks ago. With Hannah, it took about a week before she was born and so we were expecting Joey to come just as quick.....or even quicker...........we were very wrong.
Finally, her doc told her that if she wanted to have the baby before he went on vacation then he would have her come in last night and start her on petocin to speed up labor. It worked and Joey came just around 4 a.m.
I've kept Hannah with me so Mommy and Daddy could have some time alone with Baby Joey and so I didn't go up to the hospital when he was born.....after heading out and having breakfast with Trevor this morning, I took Hannah and Montana and headed to the hospital.
Little Baby Joey is completely amazing. He was sleeping when I held him the first time and he just looked perfect. Then, when I went in this evening to spend some time with him, he was awake and raring to see what the world was like. He amazed me because his eyes were just wide and concentrating on my face.....then when he'd had enough of Auntie Tia's face, he decided that he was going to look around and see what the rest of the world had to offer. He just picked up his little head and looked around. He was holding his own head up already and looking around!! I can say this, he takes after his father in looks and personality. He'll never do anything to be second best. He's going to take the world by storm. I can see it already.....LOL.

In other news, we are back into the school swing and have thrown ourselves in this year. Dakota decided that he was going to run for 5th grade class president this year. He was nervous and indecisive for a few days but I told him that he could run, I would get more involved with what was going on in the school this year. So, he ran, and although he didn't get voted in as class president, he did get voted in as class vice president. We are so proud of him. His self esteem was boosted by 110% in just one day! It's been so great to see.
And, since he followed through, I did too. I signed up for PTO and volunteered to help with every possible thing that I could volunteer for. So far, I am going to be in his class for 4 hours every Thursday afternoon, and have already been asked to help with health screening (I'm giving hearing tests), and the Holiday Program. I'm pretty excited. I've already met some really great people and can't wait to meet more. I even roped Matt into helping out with PTO stuff.....(roped is a good word too because he didn't even see it coming. I did it without telling him...LOL) Fortunately for me, he wasn't too upset and is actually looking forward to some of the stuff that is coming up.

Mom and Dad are doing well too. They left last Wednesday for a 2 1/2 week long business trip, taking them through SEVERAL different states.....many of which Mom hasn't been to yet and is really enjoying and looking forward to. I talked to her just 2 days after they had left and she had already taken over 400 pictures!!

As for Matt and I find a house, we haven't settled on one we like yet. We've looked at several, been interested in a few, but then after careful thought and consideration, realized that some of the things that bothered us about the houses we liked, would continue to bother us. So, we are still looking. We're not really hurrying things, although we're both getting anxious to buy a nice home before the pricing starts going up again. I guess we'll see what happens. As of right now, we're thinking of the possibility of buying property and putting a really nice manufactured home that we found about a year ago and loved, on it. Still don't know for sure what we want to do yet but we're getting closer.

Matt's still overly busy with the plant and the mill but has been trying really hard to make time for me and the kids. He's doing a great job.......has even taken the garbage out without being asked for 2 weeks in a row now!...LOL.
Also, we both have decided to make a committment to our churches worship team again now that school is back in session. I sing and he plays his violin.......he's not quite confident in his ability to play in front of others yet, but he's getting there. I don't think it'll be much longer. He really enjoys it. We have practice every Friday night, which sounds like it's going to work out fine.......which also means that Matt spends one more night at home instead of working.......this in itself is a huge benefit to our family.

SO, that's what's going on with us in a nutshell. Hope all of you are doing great and enjoying the new school year!!

Who's Hands?

2008-08-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

A basketball in my hands is worth about $19.
A basketball in Michael Jordan's hands is worth about $33 million.
It depends whose hands it's in.

A baseball in my hands is worth about $6.
A baseball in Roger Clemens' hands is worth $4.75 million.
It depends on whose hands it's in.

A tennis racket is useless in my hands.
A tennis racket in Andre Agassi's hands is worth millions.
It depends whose hands it's in.

A rod in my hands will keep away an angry dog.
A rod in Moses' hands will part the mighty sea.
It depends whose hands it's in.

A slingshot in my hands is a kid's toy.
A slingshot in David's hand is a mighty weapon.
It depends whose hands it's in.

Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in my hands is a couple of fish sandwiches.
Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in Jesus' hands will feed thousands.
It depends whose hands it's in.

Nails in my hands might produce a birdhouse.
Nails in Jesus Christ's hands will
produce salvation for the entire world.
It depends whose hands it's in.

As you see now, it depends whose hands it's in.
So put your concerns, your worries, your fears, your hopes, your dreams, your families and your relationships in God's hands because...
It depends whose hands it's in.

We'll Say I've Been On Hiatus

2008-07-31T23:29:00.000-07:00

As a person who writes about everything, it's really hard when you come to a point where writing is just not in you. Over the last couple of months, I've tried and tried to come up with something to update everyone on how everything is going and so on and so forth. It's been a problem.....them words have just not been in me lately. I don't really know why or for what reason, all I know, is that it hasn't been there.........I guess it's about time for me to try again.

This summer has been so busy. Lots of things going on around me..some happy, some sad, some fun, and some not so fun. There are so many things going through my head right now that I know I won't be able to get them all down without spending hours and hours writing. It's hard for me to formulate everything in a way that is readable.....if that makes sense. It's been a great summer so far, but there's also been some things that have been going on in my life that are not so great. I'll touch on a couple of them but some of them I just can't talk about. Some things are just better left unsaid, or written for my eyes only....

So, I guess I'll start with some of the fun things we've done since summer started.

Some of the best times we have as a family is fishing. We love to take the boat, grab the kids, stock up on sandwiches and drinks, and head out on the water. Mostly Lake Sammish but an occassional trip to Bellingham Bay or Lake Terrell is called for. This year we haven't been so lucky in the fish department, but it's been fun none the less. Taking the kids out and skimming across the water is a favorite past time of all of us and something that we do as much as possible.
One night in particular, Dakota decided that he was going to stay over night with my parents and skip the fishing. (He hadn't caught anything and knew that if he went out again and didn't get anything he would just be angry with himself.) We grabbed Montana and headed out to Lake Terrel where some of our friends and said they were going to be spending the afternoon. Much to Dakota's chagrin and Montana's complete delight, as she would finally have something to rub in her brother's face, we hooked into some really nice sized bass. Montana was thrilled and insisted on giving each one of them a hug before sending them back in the water. After catching the first two herself, she was done for the night so she sat back and munched some chicken, waiting for daddy to finish up so she could go find Jakey and play while we loaded the boats. It was a really fun afternoon and Dakota ended up being quite bummed that he wasn't there to catch a couple himself. Not to mention, he hates the fact that his sister can say that she caught a fish, let alone a big one, before he did this year.
Other than fishing, the other constant thing that we do consistantly during the summer is Cactus Jack's Hope Ranch on Wednesday nights. Thanks to my good friend Jodee, we were invited to come and join the group last summer and the kids just plain fell in love with it. We go out to Cactus Jack's every Wednesday, ride horses,listen to bible stories around a fire, listen to the weekly antics of Cactus Jack, share hotdogs and s'mores with good friend and good people, and it's a constant reminder to the kids that they need to behave themselves in order to be able to go. They are already bummed that summer is quickly coming to an end and Cactus Jack will disappear for the Fall and Winter months.

Matt and I had also decided that we were going to take the kids to Circus Gatti but because of scheduling problems, Matt wasn't able to go......so Dave and I decided to take the kids anyway. I called my cousin Matthew and asked him if he wanted to go with us and after admitting that the prospect of a little circus was better than cleaning his room, he agreed to go. Although is wasn't as good as previous years, the kids had a blast and really enjoyed it tremendously.I wish Matt had been able to go with us but it was fun none the less and something the kids will always remember. Especially since at one point, 5 motorcycles crashed inside the steal ball and then one of the tightrope walkers, who were performing without a net, fell and barely caught himself on the wire before plunging to the ground. It was definitely a memorable day......

Matt and I have also had a chance to have some fun adult time without the kids over the last couple of months too. On the 26th of August, we had a party for all of our friends....NO KIDS ALLOWED.........well, until the next day when we had a family party.
We always enjoy entertaining and Matt was thrilled to have people here that he could show off is 'redneck pool heater' to. (This being a bunch of copper piping running in 4 circles through the bottom of our fire pit, circulating water out of the pool, through the fire, and then back into the pool and a nice warm temperature.) It didn't actually work the way he was hoping but he's got some other idea's up his sleeve that he plans on starting to put into action this winter.
The day after our adults only party, we decided to continue the fun and most everybody came back with their kids the next day for a pool day. We had so much fun. There were several kids here, and even though the weather wasn't quite cooperating, and it was overcast for a good portion of the day, it didn't deter the kids. They hopped in the pool and had a blast.........and when Kia decided that she wasn't going to go in the pool, then inadvertantly issued a dare to Matt, she was thrown in head first. Lucky for Matt, I think she was kind of anticipating it and didn't get angry with him.........unlike her little sister Kaylee.......who hated him for all of 10 minutes for throwing her big sis in.

Unfortunately, after such a fun weekend, our week started out on the down note. The weekend prior to our party, we had found that a family friend had died in a terrible car accident. The Monday after the party we had a funeral to attend. It was so sad. It's still hard for me to put into words all the emotions that were going through my head. He was only 24 years old and had so much life ahead of him. So many memories from when I was young were going through my head. It hit me so much harder than I was imagining it would, and it just about killed me when it hit my little brother so incredibly hard. He had been asked to be a pallbearer even though he and JD had grown apart over the years. But, as JD's aunt said, there is a childhood bond there that can never be broken. Travis, JD, and Tommy (JD's cousin), were pretty much joined at the hip for years when they were young. Where there as one, there were the other two.
There are so many connections with my family and the Gilbert Clan. I grew up with some of them, going to Ferndale, my parents have been friends with several for over 35 years. Matt, my dad, and my brother, all work for JD's uncle, Dakota goes to school with a couple of JD's cousins, not to mention, that JD's uncle owns that house that Matt and I are living in........two of the houses that we have lived in for 7 of the last 12 years.
I breaks my heart because the whole family are incredibley wonderful and good people and it hurts to see them having to go through what they are having to deal with. It's just not right for a parent to have to say goodbye to their only child like that.
There are so many more things I could say about all of the family and everyone, but I won't. I could litterally spend hours writing out memories, conversations, and wonderful things about some really wonderful people.......

R.I.P JD.....You will be missed.

One more sad thing that we will have to do at the end of this summer, is say good-bye to some very good friends.
Most of you already know Dave and Mel Brown, and if you don't know them from the FHS Forum, you have run into them at one of our parties. Although Dave and I knew one another in high school, we weren't really good friends. More like aquaintences.....anyway, a couple of years ago, I was told about the Ferndale High School Alumni Forum. (Thanks to my cuz Tye) Dave is the administrater and the brain behind the place that I spend most of my time online. There I came in contact with old friends and made some incredible new ones. One of them being Dave. About 6 months after finding this particular website, Matt and I had our annual Halloween party and Dave drove over from Spokane to join the festivities, bringing along his beautiful Melanie. Last year they moved here, just 5 minutes away from us, and have become a very important part of our lives. Thus including Dave's to incredibly awesome kids, Cody and Ashley.
A couple of months ago, Dave told me that he was offered a job in Pensylvania but he didn't know if he was going to take it..........well, he is.......which means that he and Melanie will be moving away from us after just one short year. We will miss them incredibly and Matt and myself, as well as Dakota and Montana are dreading the day that we have to say goodbye. Which will have to be tomorrow for the four kids. Luckily for us, we get to have Cody and Ashley over for a campout in the living room and the kids get to spend some time together before Cody and Ashley have to leave. Unfortunately, it's only a couple of weeks until we have to say goodbye to Dave and Mel as well.

Dave, Mel, Cody, Ashley~ We are all going to miss you guys so much. Not just Matt and I and the kids, but all of my family and friends that have gotten the chance to know you all over the last year. Know that our home is always open to you when you come to visit, and we are already anticipating your first visit home. We love you guys.

Most recent, we had Dakota's 10th birthday party last Saturday. Yep, my baby is 10 years old. I can't believe it. He's just growing up way too fast. But, when I told him that he had to stay 10 for the rest of my life he giggled and told me not to act so old......boogerhead.
Most exciting for him was the gift he got from The Family Tree...our family business. It's a Baja 250 and he was totally psyched. But, as with all cool toys that adults buy for kids, it had to be played with by the adults. The guys all walked out to the back field and decided that they were going to run time trials. Trevor ended up winning but the guys decided it was time for the kids to play with it after they had tested it and Josh and Derek rolled it.......scary. My heart beat a million miles and hour both times but thank God for roll bars and 5 point harnesses.......LOL

And last but not least, these are just a few of the pictues I took when we took the kids up Glacier Creek Road a little while ago. Just thought I'd share them. I love how the one of the creek turned out.

A Special Kind Of Weekend

2008-07-01T13:56:00.000-07:00

You know, when you get older, the more time you spend with friends and family, the more you learn to appreciate the good things in life. Not the material things that come with money, but the friendships, relationships, conversations, and time you spend with the people that you love.

Matt decided to skip out on his softball game Friday night, in favor of spending the evening camping at Baker Lake for a father son campout. I was excited about this because I know how important it is for Dakota to spend that special time with his dad. They left here just after 4 o'clock on Friday afternoon, excited to get moving. As soon as they were gone, my sis came over and we took Montana out for a special girls night. Dinner and a movie, all of her choice.
We headed over to the mall to buy tickets way early to see Wall-E, afraid that it was going to be jam packed and if we didn't get there early enough, would spend the entire movie sitting in the front row, looking straight up, and back and forth in order to see the whole screen........it was a good decision. After having dinner in the food court, we headed into the theatre half an hour early. We got our seats a little past the mid way point and settled in to relax and chat before the movie started. OMGoodness......it was crazy, by the time the movie started the place was elbow to elbow and about 5 minutes into the movie, I realized that there were actually people standing in the isles to watch it. AMAZING! I was so glad we got there early.......LOL.
I wasn't crazy about seeing the movie. To me it looked totally lame but when we asked Montana what she wanted to see, she was very adamant that Wall-E was IT...mainly because she knew her brother wanted to see it and couldn't because he was going to be camping with his dad instead and she was bummed that she wasn't allowed to go.........so, that's what we saw.........and it was GREAT!! It was so much better than I thought it was going to be! It was funny, charming, heartbreaking, crazy.......it was just a plain good movie and definitely one we'll be buying for the kids.

Saturday morning I got a phone call from my parents telling me that they were going to be home from their business trip a day early so that they could be here for my mom's birthday on Sunday. I was totally excited, since I had been bugging her the whole two weeks they were gone to come back and be home for her birthday. I didn't think they would actually do it. Anyway, I called my sis and we kicked it into high gear to try and plan a birthday party for my mom on really short notice. We called all of our family and all of her closes friends and let everyone know that we were going to have a BBQ out at Birch Bay in honor of mom. We were expecting that on such short notice, only a handful of people were going to make it.......imagine our surprise when everyone gave us the thumbs up except for one person, and the only reason he couldn't make it was because he had to work! We ended up having nearly 60 people coming out to celebrate my mom! IT WAS AWESOME!!
So, Saturday night, after Matt and Kota got back from Baker Lake, I cancelled out for worship practice and church on Sunday, so that we could get ready for mom's party. My sis and I ended up making a ton of food and doing a ton of shopping so that nobody would feel obligated to bring anything with them when they came. Matt got the BBQ grills loaded into the truck and tied down and helped pack everything we would need for the following day. It was back breaking and tiring but every single muscle ache was completely and totally worth it. Everybody had a wonderful time, my mom felt incredibly special (which was the plan all along...LOL), and it just ended up being a really great day. Too much good food, great friends, lots of sun, waterfights, and even a Yuma Golf Tournament.

My dad even tackled Dakota in the bay and the proceeded to get into a seaweed fight with all the kids. It was a blast to watch and made me remember all the times growing up that my friends wanted to come stay at my house instead of having sleepover's at theres. My dad was always so much fun!!

Just a FEW of the people that came out to celebrate Mom's special day:

MY COUSIN MATTHEW

MY GOOFY BROTHER CHUCKY

JOHN

KOTA

MY GODMOTHER AND MOM'S BEST FRIEND, MARY

SOON TO BE MAMA TO BABY #2, TERESA, AND HANNAH BANANA

ADDY

JUNIOR AND STEPHANIE

TED AND MATT

CISCO AND TED: GOOFBALLS

CHLOE.....FUNNY GIRL

UNCLE BOB AND MY COUSIN DEREK

EMMA.....YEP,SHE'S IN THERE!

MONTANA

UNCLE MOUSE & TED

So just one last time:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!! I LOVE YOU!!!

Seriously.....get a tissue before you read this.

2008-06-19T17:03:00.000-07:00

PINK ROSE

Her hair was up in a pony tail,
her favorite dress tied with a bow.
Today was Daddy's Day at school,
and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell
her, that she probably should stay home.
Why the kids might not understand,
if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;
she knew just what to say.
What to tell her classmates
of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,
for her to face this day alone.
And that was why once again,
she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all.
About a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall in back,
for everyone to meet.
Children squirming impatiently,
anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher
called a student from the class.
To introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,
every child turned to stare.
Each of them was searching,
a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?"
she heard a boy call out.
"She probably doesn't have one,"
another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,
she heard a daddy say,
"Looks like another deadbeat dad,
too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her,
as she smiled up at her Mom.
And looked back at her teacher,
who told her to go on.

"And with hands behind her back,
slowly she began to speak.
And out from the mouth of a child,
came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here,
because he lives so far away.
But I know he wishes he could be,
since this is such a special day.

"And though you cannot meet him,
I wanted you to know.
All about my daddy,
and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories,
he taught me to ride my bike.
He surprised me with pink roses,
and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,
and ice cream in a cone.
And though you cannot see him.
I'm not standing here alone.

"Cause my daddy's always with me,
even though we are apart.
I know because he told me,
he'll forever be in my heart"

With that,
her little hand reached up,
and lay across her chest.

Feeling her own heartbeat,
beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere here in
the crowd of dads,
her mother stood in tears.

Proudly watching her daughter,
who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love,
of a man not in her life.
Doing what was best for her,
doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,
staring straight into the crowd.
She finished with a voice so soft,
but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much,
he's my shining star.
And if he could, he'd be here,
but heaven's just too far.

"You see he was a policeman,
and died just this past year.
When airplanes hit the towers,
and taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,
it's like he never went away."
And then she closed her eyes,
and saw him there that day.

"And to her mothers amazement,
she witnessed with surprise.
A room full of daddies and children,
all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,
who knows what they felt inside.
Perhaps for merely a second,
they saw him at her side."

"I know you're with me Daddy,"
to the silence she called out.
And what happened next made believers,
of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,
for each of their eyes had been closed.
But there on the desk beside her,
was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,
by the love of her shining star.
And given the gift of believing,
that heaven is never too far.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.

Take the time...to live and love! Until eternity. God bless!

Love is in the air!!

2008-06-10T07:46:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, I spent the day at the wedding and reception of my Godbrother Julian (who will always and forever be Junior to me) and his beautiful new wife Stephanie. I had such an incredible time.
Our mom's have been best friends since before either of us were born. They met when they lived across the street from one another over 30 years ago. Therefore, Junior, and his older brother Ramiro, have always been a part of my life. Not always right next to me, but always in some part of my heart and mind.
Unfortunately, when life travels faster than we are prepared for, we tend to overlook people that we don't always see on a regular basis.......not forgetting about them, just allowing life to happen. And then you start to wonder if they know how important they still are to you, and wonder if you are still as important to them.....sad but true.
Emotions run rampant during a wedding. Not only for the bride and groom, but for the parents who are fully giving their child to another person, for the siblings who are looking at their brother or sister in new and wonderful way, and also for the friends who get to watch as their friends embark on a new chapter of their lives. It's exciting and it's beautiful and being invited to watch the beginning of a new life together is a privilage. Especially when you just get that nice warm fuzzy feeling that the couple getting married, are truly perfect for one another.
I got to spend a few special minutes with both of my godparents and both of my godbrothers this weekend. I got to reaffirm my love for all of them, and I got to hear them, tell me, how much myself and my family still means to each of them.Not absolutely necessary but so nice to hear and say.....and if there is one thing in my life that I have learned, it's that you can never NEVER say I love you too much. Life does not go on forever.
I'm so excited for Junior and Stephanie. Who knows what the future holds for them. All I know is that it looks very very bright. They are a beautiful couple and they have great role models to look up to.

FIRST DANCE

RAMIRO AND CYNTHIA

MY GODFATHER JULIAN

MY GODMOTHER MARY

CONGRATULATION JUNIOR AND STEPHANIE!! May God bless your marriage, your family, and your life together. And once again, don't forget.....you can never NEVER say 'I love you' too much.

BLESSINGS

2008-05-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated
everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told
her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she
was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will
you marry me?' The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The
sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought
of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take
good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were
yours, they were mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.

Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side
in the most painful situations.

Life Is a Gift

Today before you say an unkind word - Think of someone
who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has
nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying
out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to
heaven.

Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children
but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think
of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks
the same distance.

And when you are tired and complain about your job - Think of the unemployed,
the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another - Remember
that not one of us is without sin.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face
and think: you're alive and still around.

A Wonderful Mother's Day Weekend

2008-05-12T11:55:00.001-07:00

Saturday afternoon was our churches annual Mother Daughter Luncheon. This years theme was 'Extreme Makeover'. Learning how to trust God no matter what and allowing him to do an extreme makeover in us from the inside out. As usual it turned out wonderful and we all really enjoyed ourselves. On the way, Montana and I stopped and bought my mom and grandma a couple of plants. Montana was very excited to hand them to them, explaining that they were from 'just' her and no one else. We sat down to sandwiches and salads, good conversation, and a very insightful guest speaker. The ladies that put on the luncheon did absolutely wonderful jobs and I don't think they get the credit they deserve for all the stuff they do. They are really incredible women that put a whole lot of time, energy, and thought into the things they are involved with. I love them all dearly and I hope they know that.
I was also given a nice little salt and pepper shaker set in the shape of hippos from my mom (they're so cute!!) and a very lovely smelling body butter from my sister and neice (it smells so good it makes you want to lick it right out of the jar, but I'm sure it doesn't taste anywhere near as good as it smells.....LOL).
Yesterday was the most wonderful mother's day. The best one since I've become a mom. Truly a gift from God, Matt, and the kids.
Every Sunday morning, it's hard for me not to get irritated with Matt. Every Sunday, I get up early with the kids, get them fed, get them ready for church and then try and have myself ready before it's time to go. And every Sunday, while I'm doing all of this and rushing about, Matt is sleeping. He usually sleeps until about half an hour before we're supposed to leave. So, I was thinking that yesterday, he would get up with the kids, get them fed and dressed for church, and I would be able to sleep in. That was his plan anyway.........until the kids came in with their home made gifts to give me. It was just going on quarter after 7........ugh. I'm not a morning person but I tried to put on my happiest face and scooted over so they could crawl in bed with us and give me my presents.
Montana drew a picture of the two of us together with huge smiles, bug eyes, and lots of crazy spikey hair. It made me smile. Especially seeing how painstakingly she had tried to write her name in her very best handwriting.
Dakota handed me a card he made out of white and red construction paper cut into a heart. In the center he had drawn a very good rose and written 'to the grattist mom in the hole werld. I love you more then anybudy.'........how freaking cute is that?!!!
Then the kids gave me the gift they had picked out for me. A wooden clock that spells out MOM. It's really very nice and I'm sure it'll look great in my bedroom.
After wrestling around and goofing off for a while, thanking the kids for the beautiful card and pictures, they informed me that they had a special surprise for me and told me to go out to the living room. I went out and sat down and they 'performed' their 'act' for me. Montana dressed up in a goofy crazy outfit consisteing of her dad's baseball cap, my sunglasses, one sock, her dad's hunting vest, and a pair of gardening gloves. She grabbed her umbrella and the two of them sang me a song......I couldn't even tell you what the song was about or what the words were. I was laughing too hard at their dance number to actually pay attention to it. I had a picture but somehow ended up erasing it before I could transfer it to the computer. She looked hilarious and totally cracked me up......after that it was time to get ready for church.
We headed to church where the women were gifted with a cute little compact. I always find it so nice that our church goes out of it's way to make mom's feel special on Mother's Day. Always giving us a nice little gift along wih a special sermon from our pastor emphasizing the importance of mom's and women in general.
When we left church, we all headed over to Mykono's for a nice greek lunch compliments of my dad.. (mmmmmm.........gotta love that artichoke chicken....lol.)It was nice to be able to spend the afternoon with my family with everyone in a festive mood. I really think that I am at my happiest when my family is all together and happy. We missed my brother and sister in law, but unfortunately, my neice is sick and they ended up staying at home nursing her back to health and happiness.
When we left the resaurant we decided to run home and grab the box of enviro-friendly lightbulbs we bought for Matt's mom and head over to spend some time with her but were surprised to see my father in law already here. He informed us that my MIL had gone to spend the day in Canada with her sisters and he had decided to come over and shave our springer spaniel for us. So, we hung around here for a while and relaxed then decided we were going to take the kids to see a movie.
We headed over to Sunset and saw Iron Man. Dakota had already seen it but loved it so much that he was willing to watch it again because the rest of us hadn't seen it yet and wanted to. It was fun and it was a great movie! Can't wait until it comes out on video. It's definitely one we'll be buying.........then again, I don't think there's been a movie based on any Marvel comic that we haven't liked....LOL.
When the movie was over it was just past 7 so Matt took us over to Boston's for a pizza and then we headed home.
And this is where my day was topped off with the most wonderful best gift a mom could ask for.
We got home and told the kids it was shower time. BOTH of them bathed WITHOUT any arguments. When that was done, we headed into my bedroom for prayer time. Each one of them said a special prayer thanking God for me (believe me, I was bawling my eyes out by the time they were done), and then the kids went to bed with absolutely no fuss whatsoever (this DOES NOT EVER happen in my house) and not one single time did either of them get out of bed for any reason. They both when straight to sleep with no complaints at all.
And Matt and I got to watch a movie together with no interuptions.......amazing.

All in all it was the perfect mothers day. I couldn't have asked for a better one. I am truly a blessed woman. I don't know what I did to deserve Matt and the kids, as well as my wonderful incredible family, but I'm thankful. I probably don't deserve any of them, but for some reason, God saw it fit to give them all to me anyway, and I can't even think of the words to thank him for it.
I have the greatest kids and husband and family in the world!!

Cindy will find her voice............later.

2008-04-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

As most of you already know, I've been in discussions with a publishing company about the publication of my story 'Cindy Finds Her Voice'.
I'm sad to say, that the publishing of my story is going to have to wait until I find a different publishing company.
After speaking with the publishers and editor in length, they've brought it to my attention that "the demographics won't support a 'God' book."
I know this may sound a bit egotistical, but I thought my book was fine the way it was. I was under the impression that when it was sent to an editor, they were going to make changes along the lines of puncuation and grammer, adding a verse here or a line there, changing this word for that word, but after hearing the changes they wanted me to make, it was not my story anymore. I didn't like it and I wouldn't have logically been able to call it my own.
I've thought about it for the last couple of days and this afternoon when the editor called me, I explained to him that I appreciated his insight, but that I needed to find a publishing company that was willing to accept my 'God' book for what it was.......faith in God.
After trying unsuccessfully to get me to change my mind, he wished me luck and that was the end of it.
Although I'm positive and certain that I made the right decision, I'd be lying if I didn't say that I was a bit heartbroken and cried after I hung up the phone. I was so close.
Matt and my family are being very supportive and have expressed to me how proud of me they are for sticking with my values and not changing my story.

In short, I'm not giving up. I'll be researching and trying to find a christian publishing company that will love my book for what it really is and not make me try and change the whole premise behind the story itself.

Thank you all again, for your encouraging words, and for those of you that said you wanted a copy...........you'll be the first ones to get it..........just not right now.

Wish me luck.

CINDY FINDS HER VOICE

2008-04-20T21:34:00.000-07:00

“I beat you again,” snickered Danielle Delaney
“But it’s really not a surprise.
“Winning this race and beating you,
“And watching them hand me my prize.”

Cindy Talbot looked at her shoes,
Trying so hard not to cry.
Danielle always beat her at everything,
Without even batting an eye.

She’d won elections, races, contests and games.
There seemed nothing she couldn’t do.
And she’d already said she’d beat Cindy again,
In the school’s Talent Review.

The tryouts were Friday at the end of the day
And Cindy wanted to be first in line.
But when she showed up, Danielle was already there
And Cindy had to settle for nine.

The first eight people’s auditions went quickly.
Danielle’s being the best of them all.
Her violin lessons had really paid off,
And she stood there so proud and so tall.

Cindy took a deep breath, stepped up onto the stage
And heard the music start.
This talent show was for charity,
And she wanted to do her part.

When the pace of the music picked up
She lifted her arms up high
Doing a jig across the stage
Smiling at kids as she floated by.

Then out of nowhere she heard a snicker
Coming from somewhere in back.
And she stopped right there in the front of the room
When she heard the muffled, “QUACK.”

Tears came to her eyes that she tried to hold back
As she heard Ms. Stevens say,
“We’ll add you as a fill in, in case of a no show.”
What an incredibly terrible day.

She quietly said, “Thank you.” and walked off the stage.
Her dream of dancing shattered.
And all she heard, was the duck calls made
And right now.......that’s all that mattered.

Cindy’s mom and dad were really supportive.
Told her to be ready in case,
Should someone cancel and they needed her there
She’d be ready to enter the race.

So she practiced and practiced day after day
Wanting to show all the rest
That it didn’t matter if they thought she danced like a duck
SHE could be the best.

The day of the show came at last.
No one had asked her to join, as of yet.
But she still held out hope, there might be room for her
And she prayed for a spot, you can bet.

Then just as it was time to walk out the door
And head to the school to watch the show
The telephone in the kitchen rang
And her dad rushed over and said, “Hello?”

Then a great big smile spread across his face,
And he passed her the phone, with a twinkle in his eye.
She was shocked to hear Ms. Steven’s voice
Then she felt as if she could fly.

“It seems that the show is running 10 minutes short
And I don’t mean to over react,
But I hope you’ve taken time to practice your dance
Because the place is going to be packed.”

Cindy excitedly thanked Ms. Stevens
And promised she’d be there to do her best.
Now was the time for her to prove to the school
That she was better than all the rest.

When they got to the school they were shocked to find
That every seat in the auditorium was filled.
Cindy looked out at the audience before her
With anticipation, excitement, and thrill!!

The students with acts were all very good
And the show was going so well.
Then Cindy could hear the sound of the violin
Played so beautifully by her rival Danielle.

Her fingers flew over the strings.
She played everything in tune.
And when she was done with everyone clapping
Cindy knew her turn would be soon.

When it was time for her to make her debut
And dance for all to see
She just took a deep breath, stepped out onto the stage
And promised herself to be the best she could be.

She started her dance with her head held high
Letting the music move her
She danced across the stage as the music picked up
And the people below were a blur.

She did some line dancing as well as hip hop
And even some tap dancing too.
Then all of a sudden, with no warning at all
She tripped over her own pink shoe.

She hit the stage floor with a resounding ‘THUD’
Her feet had decided to fail her.
Embarrassment washed over her pretty little face,
In the auditorium she heard not a stir.

Slowly she lifted her head of blonde curls
Looking out to find her dad and her mom.
She found them smiling, encouraging her,
Making her beating heart calm.

She quickly stood to her tallest height,
And flashed to the audience her biggest smile
Stepped up to the microphone, center stage,
Knowing you have to act brave once in a while

Her mother stood up and said, “You can do it my girl!
So Cindy straightened her spine.
She started to sing ‘Amazing Grace’
Then heard her dad yell, “It’s your time to shine!”

She started to sing out quietly,
But as her confindence grew,
Her voice took off like the wings of a bird
And her voice literally flew.

From beginning to end she sang her heart out
Doing the very best that she could
And when she was finished, not a sound could be heard
Cindy was rooted right where she stood.

Then all of a sudden from somewhere in back
She heard the sound of a whistle
The sound rushed up to her, right on that stage
Just like a guided missile.

Then up the isle came Danielle Delaney
With tears running down her face.
She walked up on stage to Cindy Talbot
And wrapped her in a tight embrace.

The entire place erupted into applause.
It came as the sound of thunder.
Cindy looked out at all the happy faces
Enveloped in awe and wonder.

The people clapped, yelled, whistled and hooted.
Screaming out "ENCORE!! MORE MORE!!
Cindy had finally done something great.
And now she knew what for.

It wasn't to beat her new friend Danielle
who'd always beat her instead.
She'd had to prove to her own self
her shyness she could shed.

In God's eyes,you are perfect, no matter what
he loves us one and all.
Weather singing, or dancing, or playing the violin.
With Him holding us up, we'll not fall.

I Believe.......

2008-04-09T21:57:00.000-07:00

I believe that love doesn't solve problems.....but it sure makes them easier to deal with.

I believe that not all first impressions are correct....everyone deserves a second look.

I believe that judging a book by it's cover can cause you to miss some really incredible and wonderful stuff inside.

I believe that keeping a positive attitude will make things go better even when they don't seem like they will.

I believe that when your husband comes home with 200 pounds of fresh tuna, no matter how much you give away.......it's still too much.

I believe that the people that mean the most to you are the ones you see on the inside even when they're sitting right next to you.

I believe that everyone deserves to be trusted.....at least once.

I believe giving a 4 year old more than 4 prunes in one sitting.......is a REALLY bad idea.

I believe that unconditional love benefits the person giving it, more than the person receiving it.

I believe a kiss in the kitchen or holding hand in the car will help kids realize how lucky they are to have parents that love each other.

I believe that the friends that matter the most, are the ones that are more than friends.....they are family.

I believe that listening to your husband snore in his chair, while you try to watch your favorite show, is better than wondering where he is.

I believe there is nothing more beautiful than watching a man hold his newborn child for the first time.

I believe that you can never say 'I love you' enough.

I believe that listening to a child, will teach you a lot about the important things in life.

I believe that making your 5 year old son think he is an alien can make you feel really bad.......even 4 years later.

I believe that cuddling with a child when they are sick, will make them feel better than all the medicine in the world.

I believe that when a husband gets sick........he should be sent to his mothers house.

I believe that prayer really works.

I believe that you can be great friends with someone.....even when you don't share the same beliefs.

I believe that raccoons are vicious little creatures.

I believe you can love someone just as much as you ever did, even when they can't be a part of your life anymore.

I believe you love your kids equally.......just different.

I believe in God's plan.....even if it's not my own and I don't understand it.

I believe in my husband.

I believe in my family.

I believe in my friends.

And I believe in you.

Guilt

2008-04-02T21:14:00.000-07:00

Guilt can weigh you down. It can become so heavy that it feels like you're trying to lift a car with your shoulders alone, without the help from anyone. It can make you sick.....mentally, physically, emotionally. Headaches, sleepless nights, stomach aches.....all from guilt.
We all feel guilty about one thing or another and there comes a point, where all you can do, is fess up. Lay it all on the line, accepting whatever the consequences, but knowing that you've done the right thing.
I did that tonight. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and jumped off a cliff, thinking that when I hit the bottom, it was going to hurt really bad.

And you know what?.........it wasn't as bad as I had made it out to be in my mind, which is often the case. The bottom wasn't as hard as I expected, and that cliff in my head was not much more than a small bump in the road.

I feel good about myself again.

Thank you for forgiving me, and thank you for being a better friend to me than I was to you.

OREGON!!

2008-03-07T11:59:00.003-08:00

I know I haven't written anything in a while and I've been getting many questions asking when I'm going to write again and, specifically, when am I going to show the pictures I took when I went to Oregon last week for 4 days.

QUIT BUGGIN' ME PEOPLE!! I'LL DO IT NOW!! (So kidding. You know I love you all.)

Our plan was to leave on Thursday morning shortly after I dropped Kota at school....that didn't happen. After I dropped him off, I headed into town, thinking that I was going to meet my sis at the mechanics, drop of her car, and head over to drop Montana off with Gram, and be on our way.......Well, you know how well laid plans can get flubbed up. It's the flavor of life around here.
Tara called and told me that she was going to be late because her appointment with Brian's teacher was running waaaay past what she expected....this did not bother me at all because we were a few minutes late dropping off Dakota. I had also forgotten to put the clothes in the dryer the night before.....and it held several of the clothes I had chosen to take to Oregon with me. Realizing this just as we were leaving the house, and thinking if I shoved them in the dryer before we left they'd be dry before I got home, was the reason why Dakota ended up being late for school.......and all my clothes were wrinkled.
When Tara was finished up, we met here and upon a few other small trials, finally headed over to drop her car off with the mechanic. We then left there, headed over to my Gram's place to drop off Montana (where she bestowed on us, homemade blueberry muffins and a surpise $50 from Grandpa to help pay for gas), and we were on our way to Oregon. Giving me butterfly's in the tummy since I was excited because Oregon is my favorite place to be, and nervousness, wondering how I was going to be after 4 days away from Matt and the kids. (I think I did pretty good, although I probably called 3 or 4 times a day just to hear their voices.....LOL)
The trip took us 7 hours and 4 minutes upon which we drove right into Lincoln City and met up with my mom and aunt Cheryl for dinner at the Sea Hag ( http://www.theseahag.com/index.aspx ). It was just hitting 7:30 and we were ready to eat and relax for a few. I would have liked to have gone to the house and showered and freshened up but had we done that we wouldn't have been able to eat dinner until after 9. We sat and had dinner, compliments of my dad's credit card, relaxed for a while, talked about our trip over and what we were going to do for the weekend and then had very yummy strawberry shortcake for dessert......mmm.....then we went to the house, unpacked, showered, pulled out the beds and went to sleep. Yes, it was barely 10 o'clock but after 7 hours in the car and an amazing dinner, we were beyond tired.
Friday morning was kind of gray and rainy so we decided that we were going to have lunch at a diner we'd eaten at on previous trips (the most yummy calzones in the world) then drive to Yachats to check out a house that my mom was interested in. Apparently they are doing a survey contest and the contest winner, wins the house. My mom wanted to look at the place and find out if it was worth the $200 entry fee. It was kind of funny because it ended up being the house across from the one we rented the last time we vacationed it Yachats. Nice, but not right on the water as mom was hoping.
After having lunch, Tara and I decided that we wanted ice cream cones before we left. Mom said she didn't want one and headed to the restroom. We decided that once she found out they had black licorice ice cream she would change her mind, so we bought one for her. It was a beautiful dark dark green color that turned mom's lips and tongue black........Oh my gosh. It was freaking hilarious. But, the best part was when, on the way to Yachat's mom and Cheryl saw a bead shop that they wanted to check out. Mom had forgotten about the ice cream at this point and hurried her happy butt into the store. It wasn't until she came out and Tara and I were cracking up that she remembered that her tongue and lips were all black and she had struck up a pretty lengthy conversatin with the shop owner......yes. We are evil.......and yes, I do have a picture of her blackness but if I posted it here she would absolutely kill me and put me up for adoption even though I'm already 30!
We drove around and looked at the water, took soom pics of a Seagull that my mom was particulary interested in (don't ask me why because it was no different that Washington Seagulls, but.....whatever), and then we headed into Newport to browse a couple of shops and then hit the tattoo parlor.
Mom and Cheryl headed across the street to Port Dock One, an amazing restaurant and lounge right on the waterfront overlooking a popular hangout for sea lions, to wait it out for us while Tara and I had our matching tattoos done. My first and her third. We walked into CrossOver Tattoo Studio & Poison Arrow Piercing ( http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=55324268&MyToken=717a639d-efbd-4660-a91a-e1b6bcfede32 ) and waited for Justin, the owner, instructor, and artist, to draw what we were asking for, and then it was time for the needle. Tara was going to go first but Justin was giving me a hard time for being the 'virgin' and wanted me to go first. So, I did. I was really surprised to find out that it didn't hurt near as bad as I was expecting to. The outlining didn't hurt at all but the coloring made me wince once or twice. And, apparently I'm weird because most people feel more pain during the outlining than the coloring......oh well, I never said I wanted to be normal.
Just was a great guy, and upon spending just over two hours with him, we learned that he loves Bellingham and would love to live her instead of in Newport.......Tara and I were shocked to hear this and explained to him that we would glady trade places with him if we could. It was a completely fun experience and when Matt and I get our infinity bands, I'm thinking we should just wait for our next trip to Oregon so that Justin can do it for us. It would totally be worth the trip!!
When we were finished up we headed across the street to Port Dock One. We were amused to find my mom and aunt gushing over the waiter than had kept them amused the 2.5 hours that we were gone. His name was Andrew and he seriously was an incredible waiter. Never have I had one that was so personable, loved his job, kept us laughing, and thoroughly made us enjoy our evening. The food was absolutely incredible. The best any of us have ever had. So good in fact that my mom said that it had surpassed her favorite restaurant, The Sea Hag, and had settled very nicely into her #1 spot......let me tell you, that's pretty incredible if Mom can say that!!.......so incredible in fact, that we ended up giving him an almost $40 tip. Which was twice what any of our bills had come too!
When we left the restaurant, we headed to the grocery store to pick up a few things to care for our new tattoos, and then noticed a shoe store. Now, Matt considers himself pretty lucky because he married a woman who does not like to shop.....destests it almost......... but you don't want to put Tia in front of a shoe store if she has money........and I had money. I walked in telling myself only one pair......and walked out with 3 pair.........but in my defense, I needed a pair of black heals, the new tennis shoes were so cute and I forgot to bring tennis shoes to Oregon with me, and the wedges I bought are SO FREAKING CUTE!! If I were 4 years old I would sleep in them like Montana did when she got her pink kitty rubber boots.........you think I'm kidding but I'm so not..........I love them.............I really truly love them.........I wore them around (the house)with my capri sweat pants just so I could wear them......yes, I was quite the fashion plate.....I love them.................I. LOVE. THEM. (Picture MUST and WILL be added later......LOL)
The next day we decided to visit the Aquarium. It was fun. It's nice being able to look at everything and feel like a kid again, without having to chase the kids around. Although, I must say, I kept saying to myself, "Man, Dakota would love to see that" and "Montana would be beside herself if she could touch that."......LOL. I know. I'm a mom. What can I say?
When we left there we decided that a little more shopping was in order so we headed back to the strip in Lincoln City where I ended up hitting the leather shop and buying Matt a new australian hat, and a small leather coin purse for myself. After leaving the store and heading out before the others so I could grab a quick cigarette, Tara came out and surpised me with a very nice, soft, leather purse in white. I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT.
The next morning, we got up early enough to have breakfast with Mom, relax and watch the water for a while and then it was time to head out. We packed up the car and started driving back to Washington. Sad to be going home and leaving the beautiful ocean behind us, but anticipating be home with out families again. Matt called many times on Sunday to find out when I was going to be home. I missed him tremendously and it was good to know that he was missing me just as much.
Of course, what would be a trip along the coast if we didn't stop at Marshe's Museum ( http://www.marshsfreemuseum.com/pages/home.html ), home of Jake the alligator man, the two headed cow, and the one headed, but two bodied lamb, on the way home......come on! Of course we had to stop, even though it put us over and hour behind schedule. I love going into Marshe's. If you've never been there or haven't already seen their website you should check it out. It's really a cool place to visit. I know I've seen everything in it a million times and not much ever changes in there, but it's almost, kind of, like stepping into another home. It's amazing to me the memories that come flooding back when I walk inside the front door....heck, just by driving into the parking lot. The smell inside has it's own distinct smell, that can't really be described, but that I would know anywhere. We tooled around inside and I got the kids a few trinkets, shells, and gifts and I also picked up a very pretty blue dolphin windchime as a thank you for my Gram for watching the kids so Matt could have some time alone on Friday night.
When we hit somewhere's around Tacoma, Tara and I were both drooping. We were tired and just wanted to be home. Traffic was moving along pretty well so we were hoping that the last couple hours of the trip would go quickly........they never do. But, just as we were heading into Seattle, we noticed a yellow XTerra next to us. He was speeding up and trying to get in front of us but just couldn't quite pull it off. We finally decided that we were going to 'play' with him........Oh my goodness. It was so much fun. We ended up racing him all the way back to Bellingham. Basically pacing each other the whole way. We had a blast, and several times, he, and we, were laughing so hard it's a wonder we could see the road in front of us. When we finally pulled off the freeway, he honked his horn and flashed his lights at us and we rolled down the window and waved back. Kind of to say, "Thanks for the game. It made our last two hours fly by."
When I walked in the door I was bombarded by the kids. Hugs and kisses galore and I thought Dakota was never going to let me go. When I got the kids pulled off of me I got to watch as Matt walked across the room and wrapped me in the biggest hug. I didn't think he was going to let go either. Wow. It sure is nice to feel loved and know that I was missed so much........Matt says I'm not allowed to be away from him for that long again for a long long time...........or until hunting season.....LOL. I got to give the kids and Matt all the gifts I had bought for them, which is always so much fun because it doesn't matter what it is or how cheesy it is the kids act like they've just opened up a treasure chest.
So, that was our trip. It was beautiful, fun, relaxing, and just what I needed to help me realize that being home is pretty great too.

THE VIEW FROM OUR BEACH HOUSE

A Very Memorable Day

2008-02-04T11:27:00.000-08:00

The kids and I were very excited when Matt informed us middle of last week, that he was going to spend the whole weekend NOT working. This is unusual, especially without poking and prodding from me, so needless to say, the kids and I were highly anticipating the weekend.
Saturday the kids woke up about quarter to 9. They wanted to play the Wii, so we let them go out into the living room and play while we snuggled in bed trying to catch a few more zzzz's. This is much easier for him than it is for me as I get too nervous letting the kids hang out by themselves. Nevertheless, I was quite content, snuggling up to Matt, listening to him snore, and the kids giggle over how terrible they both were.
Around 10 we decided we'd lazed around enough and drug out butts out of bed. The plan was to clean the living room, go get some lunch, then head over to the museum. We started cleaning with good intentions.........then the sun came out.......we decided that we didn't want to clean anymore. My parents came over for a few minutes and as soon as they left, we were out the door. We headed over to Web Locker, one of Matt's favorite restaurants down on the waterfront for some sandwiches. We almost had a 'moment' when Montana spilled 22 oz. of orange soda all over the table but fortunately enough, me being the quick witted mom that I am, moved out of the way just as it was spilling over the edge of the table where I was sitting. I only ended up getting a couple of drops on my shoes. Not so for our table or the floor. After cleaning up the mess and finishing up our sandwiches, we were off to the museum.
Dakota has been to the museum with Matt and I several times over the last 9 years as it's one of the things that he and I have always loved to do together. But, Montana had never been there and was very excited about going. We walked in and found the first floor had entirely been given over to the photography of Lewis Hine and his crusade against child labor.
IT WAS AMAZING!!! Several photographs of children adorned the walls. From Newsies, to cotton pickers, to miners, Mr. Hine captures what life was like for many of the children growing up in the early 1900's.The time and energy he spent to get photographs of children, in the horrendous and very dangerous working conditions, helped bring about stricter child labor laws, and in turn helped bring about changes in which employers had to be more diligent about paying better wages in order for families to live. It was a very heartwrenching display and one that I, personally, believe every child between the ages of 9 and 15 should see.
We took the kids through the other floors. One in particular that caught the eye of both the kids, was the display on clocks. So many beautiful clocks to look at kept us busy while Matt checked out the old woodworking tools. (Everyday a sawyer....LOL) When we were finished, we headed back downstairs. On the way out, we decided to spend a few minutes watching the video about Lewis Hine and Child Labor that we had missed earlier as there were too many people in the room. We silently entered the room and sat down. Matt in the back row, me in the one in front of him, and the kids sat in the row in front of me. After a few minutes, Dakota stood up and came back and sat down next to me. He watched the rest of the film in silence and as the end came up, he leaned his head on my shoulder and said, "Know what mom? I thought this was going to be fun, but this is sad. I feel sorry for those kids." I said, "I know, Sure makes you feel grateful that you were born in this time instead of back then huh?" He said, "Yeah. I feel guilty almost, Mom." Then he paused and sat up, looked me right in the eyes and said, "I'm glad you're my mom. From now on I'm going to try really hard not to complain so much when you ask me to do my chores." I almost cried. It was a pivitol moment for my son and I was so proud of him. Knowing that it wasn't just a bunch of pictures of dirty kids he was looking at, but he was really trying to understand what the pictures were about. The story that those pictures told.
Later we dropped him off at my Gram's for the night, and when we were leaving, he was sitting at the table explaining the display to her. Explaining the working conditions and what those children had to go through, not knowing that he was explaining to her, the time's in which her own parents were born.

After leaving Gram's, we headed over to Matt's parents house for the evening where we ended up having Papa Murphy's for dinner, and teaching Matt's mom how to play cribbage. She picked it up very quickly and by the time the third game rolled around, Matt decided he better quit before she completely skunked him. It was a fun and relexing eveing and by the time we got home, our bed was calling our names.
I love days like Saturday. We didn't spend a lot of money, didn't go out of town, and didn't have anything out of the ordinary planned, but it was, litterally, the PERFECT kind of day. We all had fun and we got to remind ourselves that we can have fun together no matter what we do.

It Was A Princess Kind Of Day

2008-01-31T13:22:00.000-08:00

When school started up this year, I had just started a new job at Curves. Because of this, we were not able to get Montana into a preschool since she was staying with my mom while I was working and couldn't get her there. (She had other kids and I didn't think it was fair to ask her to shuttle them all over just to get Montana to and and from preschool 3 days a week.)
Well, I'm not working at Curves anymore but by the time I quit, it was too late to get her into any good preschools as they were all booked up for the year. Too little to late ya know? Anyway, so, I've been trying to come up with other solutions where Montana will get interaction with other kids her own age before she starts kindergarten. Which I'm hoping will be this September, but because of her birthday may not happen. We've found that the state is not very forgiving of birthdays and because Montana's birthday is the first of September, and the cut off for Kindergarten is the 31st of August, she may not be able to start. We've been looking into it and have found that we can put her into a private school for kindergarten and then transfer her to a public school for the first grade. Still looking into all the avenues but we'll see what happens.
Now, back to the orginal reason for this post: I have a friend who was looking to set up playdates for her daughter a couple of times a week so this was a great solution for Montana as well. Now, one day a week, Coralyn comes over hear to spend the day with Montana and on Fridays, Montana goes over to Coralyns house for the day. The girls love it and it gives both Amanda and I a break once a week. Nice huh?
I must say that I wasn't of much use or fun to the girls yesterday since I'm sick and didn't feel much like playing, but they managed to have a great time anyway. They pulled out all of Montana's princess dresses, which was about 7 I think, and proceeded to wear each and every one of them. They would come prancing out in the living room, twirling around and showing them off. Then they would run back and change them and do it all over again.
I managed to get a few pictures as you can see, but they weren't that great since I had to use my phone to get them since the batteries in my camera were dead. Nonetheless, they looked as adorable as ever and when Montana went to bed last night and said her prayers she thanked God for "for letting her have a princess day with her BFF Coralyn.(I know, funny that a 4 year old refers to her as her BFF instead fo saying 'Best Friend'.....LOL. Special thanks to The Disney Channel and Hannah Montana)"

And We Add Another!! (Well, Trevor and Teresa Do)

2008-01-28T18:16:00.000-08:00

So, last Christmas, as we were trying to get all the kids ready for their Christmas picture, we all agreed unanimously that we were not going to take pictures again until there was a new baby in the family because it was too much work.

Yesterday, standing in church, I was chatting with my pastor's wife and very dear friend Chelly. She made the comment that Matt and I needed a new little one to add to our family. Implying that Hannah was old enough and it was time for us to add a new little member to my mom and dad's list of grandchildren......I basically said, keep dreaming, ain't gonna happen for us. If mom and dad want a new grandchild then Trevor and Teresa need to get busy and have another baby. Or Chucky needs to get married and start making babies.

This morning, Teresa, stopped by to drop Hannah off with me, as she does every Monday morning, and casually made the announcement that she was pregnant and expecting a new little addition to our family somewhere's around the end of August or beginning of September. So keep them in your prayers for a safe, healthy baby!

I guess we'll be doing Christmas pictures again this year.
TREVOR, TERESA, & HANNAH

I Have Made My Decision

2008-01-24T09:47:00.000-08:00

So, after thinking about it for the last 8 years or so, I've made my final decision. I'm going to beauty school when Montana starts school.

Now I just need to find out how to come up with the almost $12,000 I'm going to need for tuition........hhhhmmmm......where there's a will, there's a way right?

Wish me Luck!

My Favorite Kind Of Weekend

2008-01-20T22:34:00.000-08:00

I just had the most awesome weekend. Now, I know with that opening line you're probably expecting me to talk about a little getaway, something exciting, or some major thing that happened this weekend.......Welp, you'd be wrong if you were thinking that. Exactly the opposite actually.
Yesterday was a completely lazy day. Which was good. No mood swings for Tia yesterday (which is totally off the wall because this getting older and PMSing thing is really taking it's toll on me.......well, more like Matt and the kids.....LOL). We did nothing yesterday. Nothing at all......then last night, Matt came home from the store and surprised me with a dozen roses and a really beautiful card. When I asked him why he bought me flowers and a card he said, "Because I know you've been having a rough couple of days and I just wanted to see you smile. It made me cry (PMS) and I had to read the card over a dozen times.

This is what that card that made me cry said:

If I could go back in time, would I do it all over again? Would I take the bad with the good, the tears with the laughter, the hurts with the joys? Even though things aren't always perfect, I wouldn't trade one minute of our life together..... and if I could go back in time, I wouldn't hesitate for a second to do it all over again with you.
Sweetheart, I know you've been a little down and out the past few days. I just wanted to put a smile on your face and to tell you that I love you more than I ever have. Always & Forever- Matt - xoxoxxo -

HOW INCREDIBLY SWEET IS THAT!?!!

Then, this morning, the kids came in and woke us just around 9 o'clock. We decided that it was time to take the kids down in an all out, no holds barred, wrestling match. It was so fun. By the time we were finished 2 hours later, we had missed church and our bedroom was completely trashed. Not to mention my entire bed had been taken apart. But, it was completely and totally worth it. We had so much fun.
When we were finished beating each other up, Matt and Kota went down to Cruisin' and bought hot chocolate and coffe for us. When they came back, we played the Wii for a while, wrestled some more, and watched some television.
At 1:30 we went over to Round Table Pizza and met my family for my sister in laws birthday party. As soon as we walked into the party room I felt totally loved because my neice, Hannah, saw me, yelled, "Hi!" and very quickly made a zizagged beeline right for me. She put her little arms up for me to pick her up and just started jabbering away. It was so great! She's such a doll. She makes me smile because she loves loves loves me! (brag brag)
We hung out there and watched a game, let the kids play some video games, ate some really bad pizza, and ate a really yummy raspberry twinkie cake that my sis made.
When we left there, we went out to Chuckanut so that I could see the house that Matt's parents are going to buy and renovate. It was really cool. The view is absolutely to die for and there is a deer trail right through the back yard. We even got to see a big buck as we were getting ready to leave. It should be fun for them to renovate over the next year or so. Exhausting, but fun.
After we left there we came home and played a few games of tennis on the Wii and then watched the Packers/Giants game. It was a really awesome game to watch even though the Packers lost in OT. *hmph*
We had a light dinner and just hung out with each other for the rest of the night. It was the perfect kind of day......well, almost. It would have been better if it had been my sisters weekend with her kiddos instead of her ex's.....but all things considered, it was a pretty awesome weekend!

OH, and Matthew, if you're reading this: Even though I was making fun of you today, I really do like your new facial hair. You're such a stinking cutie!

Moon With A View

2008-01-19T22:41:00.000-08:00

I am going to urge you to check out the newest post of my friend Cutzi Jobes. She has an incredible story to tell and I thing you would be blessed to hear it. She tells the story of the incredible adoptions of her two beautiful children, Steele & Adia. It really shows the love of God and how he works in mysterious ways.

You can copy this address into your address bar >> **http://moonwithaview.blogspot.com/** or you can scroll down to see 'My Favorite Blogs' and click on "Moon With A View".

Close Enough To Perfect

2008-01-14T15:37:00.000-08:00

There are certain blogs (some of which I've listed here on my site) that I visit on a regular basis. And one thing that I've noticed is that most of them have these cool titles that really catches a readers attention. And you just know that the reason they came up with the title they did is because it means something to them. Describes them in some hidden, or not so hidden way.
So, for days, I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with a good title for my little blogspot here. Something that really captures the way I feel about my life.
As most of you know, music is very important to me, and if I'm having trouble expressing myself in some way, need to relax, or just feel like dancing, the radio comes on and I engross myself in music. For the last several days, I've listened to music consistantly, at home, in the car, on the television, trying to find just one line from one song that might describe my life.
When nothing was forthcoming, I thought that maybe I was barking up the wrong tree. Then yesterday, I had my family over for the day. We watched football, ate homemade fried chicken and mashed taters, just hung around with each other and didn't do anything special. Just like we did when I was young. As I sat in the living room, watching everybody just relax and enjoy the game, while the kids ran around having fun, I started thinking about all the things that make me think of my childhood. One of the biggest things being music. My parents loved music. And my mom had a special fondness for Alabama. (Particularly the lead singer Randy Owen.....LOL) My dad always said he didn't like Alabama but we all knew that he really did. So, when I got on the computer last night, I searched them out so that I could listen to some of their things while I chatted and played games.
One song that Alabama sings is called, "She's close enought to perfect (for me)" and I love it. I always have. Now, the song itself is speaking of the woman that he's in love with.
I decided that 'Close Enough To Perfect' was the perfect title for my blog. I know that my life isn't perfect. We live paycheck to paycheck more often than not, our kids fight, we rent a house instead of own one, we don't get to spend a whole ton of time together because Matt's the only one that works to support the family, Montana wakes up from scary dreams a couple times of week, even though Dakota is nine he still makes it a common habit to fall out of his bed at least once a week, we fight over what to watch on television, Kota complains about doing homework, Montana complains if she goes to bed without a story and a song, and they both complain that I never make any of THEIR favorite foods (one can only live so long on hotdogs, mac and cheese, and spaghetti), Matt snores, I complain about Matt working so much and take it out on him when I've had a bad day.......but you wanna know something? If life was perfect it would be completely boring. I love my life.

I have a wonderful husband who works his butt off to provide for our family so that I don't have to. So that I can stay home with them and not pay someone else to raise them. He may snore, chew, talk, and steal my pillow and the blankets in his sleep, but I suspect one day, when he's gone those will be some of the things I miss the most. He's generally a happy easy going guy, who tells me every single day how much he loves me and how much he wants me. He makes me feel attractive, even when I'm not, and when we're sitting in seperate chairs and night, watching television, and he starts throwing M&M's at me, I know it's because he just wants my attention. To show him a little love.
He's not the most romantic guy in the world. But he shows his love for me every time he plans a weekend for us to be alone and keeps it a secret until the day we leave, when he brings me a flower he picked on the side of the road, when he kisses me without being afraid of who might see us, every single night when he crawls across the floor just to lay his head in my lap, when he calls in the middle of the day when he should be working, just to say 'I love you', and even when he holds my hand as soon as we get out of the car, walk into a restaraunt, or walk down a sidewalk. He makes my heart beat faster with just a smile, and makes it melt with just a word.

Dakota may complain about his homework and chores but he does them. He's a really great kid, who's beginning to really love the same activities that make his dad so wonderful. And even though he fights with his sister more than not, when she really needs him, he's right there for her. He says his prayers every night and thanks God for her and for Matt and I. He doesn't like to see anyone hurting in any way and will do what he can to make them feel better. And, he's always been one to stick up for the underdog. He makes me laugh when he dances, and smile when he sings. He tries so hard to show his love with the picutures he draws for me, the songs he sings to me, and the hugs he gives me. He's an incredible kid and I thank God every day too, that he chose me to be Dakota's mom.

Montana eggs her brother on like there is no tomorrow. She'll push and push and push him and when he pushes back she starts crying and comes running like he's just ripped her arm off. She tattles and complains about breakfast, lunch, dinner, in between and anything else she happens to not like at the moment but she gets so upset if she doesn't get to say goodbye to Dakota when we drop him off at school. She misses him more than anything in the world when he's not home and he's the first one she wants when she isn't feeling well. She knows she can count on him when she needs him and is very good at apologizing for getting him in trouble when he doesn't deserve it. She'll hug him endlessly, and nobody can cuddle like my little Montana. She makes me laugh with her 'so not funny' jokes, the way she makes herself the center of attention, and every night, I smile, sometimes with the tears threatening to fall, when I hear the prayers she says. The things that come from that wonderful little heart of hers.
And they are best friends. And they are mine. All three of them. Totally and completely mine. God chose me for them and them for me and he couldn't have made a better match.
No. My life isn't perfect......but it's close enough to perfect for me.

Junior's Getting Hitched!!!

2008-01-11T15:08:00.000-08:00

I am so excited. I just found out last week that my Godbrother, Julian (who we call Junior), is getting married. And I'm even more excited because the woman he is marrying is the sweetest girl in the whole world and she is sooooo good for him.
Her name is Stephanie and I had the pleasure of meeting her early last year. We had gone over to spend the weekend on Whidbey Island, and because we were so close, Junior decided to come over and spend some time with us. (He lives in Mt. Vernon.) Anyway, later on he decided to invite his girlfriend over to where we were staying so that we could all meet her and her kids. She then invited her dad to come and meet everyone so I decided that I was going to make a big spaghetti dinner for everyone. It turned out great and not only did we all enjoy meeting Stephanie and the kids but her dad was awesome too!!
I'm so thrilled that Junior has found someone like her. She's independent, yet loves to be with friends and family, she own's her own beauty shop out of her home, she has two pretty great kids that he adores, she has a family that he is comfortable joining, I have a feeling she won't take any crap from him (**wink wink**), and I recently heard that she bought herself a Harley and is parking it in the house, making him park his in the shed.........LOL. Too funny. I love this girl!
So, if you ever get the chance to read this Junior and Steph:

Congratulations!! I am so happy for both of you. You make a great couple and I am so happy that you have found each other. I'm sure that the two of you will make a wonderful, beautiful life together for you and the kids. The two of you compliment each other nicely.

But Junior, You may only get married on one condition:.......You have to say, "I love you my Godsister." ;0)

Love you guys and Congratulations once again. You have a wonderful journey ahead of you.

Happy Grandma Mary with ALL her grandkids: Anjelica, Annalise, Drew & Addy

A Pictures Worth A Thousand Words And Even A Memory Or Two

2008-01-04T16:44:00.000-08:00

I was going through a bunch of pictures today. Many that were taken several years ago and several that were taken just over the last three years. It's amazing to me how much the can still make me smiles with the memories that they bring. So, I thought I'd show you a few of them and share with you the memories that they bring back for me.

This is one of the few pictures I have of Matt, right after we got married, that is on the computer. (Thanks to my sis). I remember taking this. We were at the plant, and earlier in the day had gotten into a HUGE fight. We'd been fighting for several hours and had gone over to the plant to pick up the riding lawn mower. We had the trailer hooked up to the back of the truck because we had the riding lawn mower on it. I was really angry with Matt, for whatever reason, and told him that I would not get back in the truck with him. Since we lived on the plant property and were just going 300 yards through the gate that lead to our house, I was going to be stubborn and just sit on the lawn mower on the way over.
BIG MISTAKE. Matt had forgotten to set the break on the mower when he'd put it on the trailer and because we were going such a short distance, and he planned on going slowly, he didn't tie it TO the trailor either.
So, he yells, "Fine!! Be that way!" and jumps in his truck. Well, because he was ticked off at me, he took off a little too fast. The truck moved, the trailer moved.........and the lawn mower didn't. He pulled the trailer right out from under that lawnmower, and myself, and made us look like we were standing still.......until we hit the end of the trailer and it tipped me over. Which then made the lawn mower land right on top of me.
I heard a screach of tires and I looked up to see absolute terror on Matt's face as he ran back to me screaming, "Oh my god Baby!! Are you okay?!! I'm so sorry!!" I'm laying on the concrete ground, staring up, watching Matt pull the rider off of me, seeing him totally scared that I had been seriously hurt, and what do I do?.......laugh. Oh my goodness. I started laughing and could not stop. At first he was angry because I was laughing at him and then he started laughing too. I was fine and it broke the tension that we had been suffering from all day long. And I assured him when I went to bed that night that I knew he had not done it on purpose and was not trying to kill me.......LOL

.This was about 2 hours after Montana was born. September 1, 2003. I love this picture. When I came across it yesterday it made my heart beat faster, making me a little breathleass, and I got a bit teary eyed. Breathless because I don't think there is anything in the world more perfect than a man holding his child, and teary eyed becauseit brought back all the memories of the beginning of Montana's little life.
Just a couple hours prior to this picture being taken, our new baby was fighting to take a breath. She had been born with the umbilical chord wrapped around her neck and was not breathing. I remember hearing the nurses and doctor whispering, wondering when I was goint to hear the little cry we'd been waiting so long for. Matt kept telling me that everything was going to be okay. That God wouldn't take our baby girl from us after we'd been through so much with her already. I could see he was terrified just by looking in his face but he was trying so hard to be strong for me........then I heard her sweet baby yell and Matt collapsed on the bed next to me and started crying. I knew then that this little girl was going to be our last little baby.I knew then that I could never put him through that again. We went through a lot with Montana. Almost losing her during the pregnancy, almost losing her as she was born, and almost losing her one more time exactly a week after she was born.But, our beautiful baby girl, beat all the odds, and is happy and healthy. Thriving and running headlong into her teenage years even though she's only 4.

This picture was taken about 7 years ago. It was the first really bad cold and flu that Dakota got. It was a horrible week. Matt and Dakota both got so sick and it's one of the only two times that Matt ever took sick leave at work. They were both running very high fevers and could not sleep in their rooms. We ended up moving our bed downstairs for over a week. They would alternate from sleeping on the mattress on the floor or in the chair. It was the first time I had ever had to deal with a sick husband and a sick son at the same time. It really tested me as a wife and mom at the time. (Since we all know how boys are when they're sick......LOL) It was a horrible week and I was so thankful when they both woke up one morning and were showing great signs of improvement. I was ready for a long vacation alone after that one. HEE HEE

Matt doesn't get sick very often. As a matter of fact, the last time Matt had gotten sick before he and Kota were sick, was the day of our wedding. Yep. The day of our wedding.
My brother had called me earlier in the day and told me that Matt had gotten sick several times throughout the day. When I asked him what he meant by 'sick' he informed me that my husband to be and spent quite a bit of time hurling the contents of his stomach.........this made me a bit nervous. I was so afraid that he was having second thoughts and was going to run out on me during the wedding. Imagine my surpise when he did just that. This picture was taken, as we were saying our vows, and (I'm being serious now) as I am saying, "In sickness and in health" I hear Matt say, "Excuse me" and he ran out of the room. He ran down the hall to the bathroom and we could all hear him vomiting. Not great to hear in the middle of your wedding. I just knew that he was going to come back and tell me that we were making a big mistake and he couldn't go through with it. But, he came back, whispered that he had brushed his teeth, and we made it through to the end.
When we went into the other room, I said, "Honey, we did it. I was afraid when you ran off that you weren't going to come back." He assured me that he never would have asked me to marry him if he hadn't been sure that's what he'd wanted and told me that he had the flu. I ended up spending our wedding night watching old sitcoms on t.v. while he crashed in the new bed, given to us as a wedding gift from his parents, snoring his brains out. Oh, the memories.

And just a couple more worth showing:
These were taken when we celebrated Kota's 7th birthday and Tana's 2nd birthday. Little did we know that the next day, Kota and the two friends he had stay overnight were going to get the cops called on them for shooting out the neighbors tinted picture window on the front of their house with a wrist rocket. Over $600 later he's only allowed to use it with an adult present.>

So, anyway, I know that these pictures don't mean to you what they do to me but I enjoyed sharing them and remembering. Thanks for sharing my memories with me.

One Flaw In Women

2008-01-03T10:55:00.000-08:00

Women have strengths that amaze men.

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope, and love.
They have the compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Have you told the women in your life how much they mean to you?

I Got Me A Regular Daniel Boone

2008-01-02T01:13:00.000-08:00

Raccoons may look all nice and cuddly........BUT THEY'RE NOT!!! They are mean vicious little creatures......and I say that from personal experience.
Just half an hour ago, my dogs were going nutso. I kept telling them to calm down and when that didn't work, I decided that I was going to head out and find out what the problem was.
So, I go out in a t-shirt, jammie pants, and Matt's shoes to find out what the heck is making them go crazy. As I open the door, a raccoon comes running out of the car port. So, me being the suavy outdoorswoman that I am, start chasing it back towards the shop, in the dark, making shooing noises at it like I do when I'm trying to get the cats out of the house.
Here I am, thinking this is working quite well when the little freak turns his furry butt around and starts chasing me!! And the hissing noises coming from him were not anything like the shooing sounds I'm so good at. Now, most of you know that I have had a couple of run in's with raccoons before.......for some reason, they don't seem to like me very much.....and this one was absolutely no exception. So, I scream like my 4 year old, and run in the opposite direction in Matt's clod hoppers and barely make it to the door before this lovable woodland creature takes my head off.
I slam the door behind me, run into the bedroom, flip on the light, and wake Matt from a dead sleep by yelling, "Where's the handgun! Kota's going to have himself a coon skin cap in the morning!" Wiping the sleep out of his eyes, he notices me searching for the bullets and says, "Whoa, Baby, what are you talking about?" So, I tell him what happened and tell him that I'm going to kill the little freak. He tells me to hang on and drags his butt out of bed, puts his clothes on, and very gently tells me that I'm crazy, he's not putting a gun in my hand, and goes to get his rifle.
We go outside and there's the little beast, standing in the driveway just staring us down. I say to Matt, "Look at the little beast. Just standing there in the driveway and staring us down." (bet ya didn't see that comin' did ya) Anyway, so Matt says, "Yeah, he's sure not backin' down." So, he flashes it with the flashlight, that we had to search the house for new batteries for, and shoots it. It runs.....we can't find it......so he hands me a light and we go in search of it......then I realize that he handed me his little pen light........yeah, he gave me the penlight because I'm so not afraid of the thing and he knows that because he's such a wuss, he needs the bigger one......(I don't expect you to believe that since any one of you could probably ask my neighbors in the morning if I scream like a girl.....but I had to tell myself that since I was the one holding such a burly manlike flashlight at 1 in the morning.) We finally find it and I'm not worried at all as Matt walks up to it to make sure it's dead. It's still floppin......I know, kinda graphic, so Matt shoots it again and says, "Damn! He's got some burly teeth." My response? "All the better to eat me with, my dear."
So, maybe this outdoorswoman will really make Kota a coonskin cap.........yeah right. It's goin in the garbage. Oh shoot, time to go, the cops are driving by the house.......that's what happens when you live within city limits and someone shoots a rifle a couple times in the middle of the night......no wonder my friends think I live in the ghetto.

Kota's Prayer & Matt's Wierd Mind Revisited

2007-12-31T13:52:00.000-08:00

So, I was emailing back and forth with a new friend recently and we were talking about the flu that's been going around. You know the one I'm talking about. The nasty one that has been overtaking and invading peoples body's, maybe even your own, that makes you sore with joint pain, stomach aches, endless fevers, terrible headaches, and the general feeling of wanting to die. The same one that Montana had a couple of weeks ago.
Anyway, we were talking about how each of our kids got so sick and it reminded me of something that happened on the fourth night that Montana was so sick. It was nearly 2in the morning and she was in so much pain. She was suffering from a terrible migraine headache caused by the fever of 103+ that she had been running for 3 days straight. Dakota walked in and said, "Mom, can I pray for Montana?" I told him that I was sure that God and Montana would love to have him pray for her and his prayer went something like this: Dear God, I know we've already talked tonight but I wanted to talk to you again. You know my baby sister is really sick and I was wondering if you would be kind enough to take the flu away from her and give it to me instead. I can handle it better than her because even though she's four, she's a girl. Men are able to handle things like this better. Heal her. Make her better. She doesn't deserve this. So, if you could please give it to me and make me suffer instead I would be really thankful.........................or, if you want to, you can give it to someone in Africa or someplace to someone who likes....................um...........pain." Then he kind of looked confused that he had actually said that. It made me cry and laugh at the same time. (Apparently, he has no idea that the older he gets the more MAN he'll become. He doesn't realize that the older a 'man' gets, the younger he acts when he's sick. He doesn't realize that when he's married and has children of his own, his wife will be begging me to come and take care of him because he acts worse with a cold than their three year old with the flu does.......LOL)
I felt so defenseless. As a parent, and especially a mom, it's your job to make your kids feel better when they're not feeling well. To make them comfortable, and even if they are sick, a mom is supposed to give her children the illusion that they are feeling better because mommy kisses their boo boos............and when you're not able to do that you feel like you have failed.
That's how I was feeling that night. That no matter how much I prayed for Montana, no matter how many hours I lay awake just watching her and trying to make her comfortable, I had failed. I couldn't make her boo boo feel better with my kisses.
But, you want to know the greatest thing about all this? Even though I felt I had failed Montana, Dakota didn't. In his child's mind, he competely believed that when he asked God to heal Montana that He would do it. Not half an hour later, Montana's fever started going down. She started sleeping peacefully, and only woke up one more time for a drink of water. And although she was still sick the next day, she was on the downhill slide, and by the day after that, she was almost back to normal.
I thought about that for days afterward, wondering why Kota's prayer had been answered and mine hadn't. I think I figured it out. Dakota BELIEVED......TRULY BELIEVED.........in God's power and knew that when he had asked God to heal Montana, he was going to do it. And, although I had asked the same thing several times, even asking God to give her sickness to me instead as well, in my adult mind, I just had doubts. We, as adults, and christians in general, HAVE TO HAVE THE FAITH OF A CHILD. To beleive in God 100% even if we don't see him in physical form day after day. I needed to believe in my heart, as much as Dakota did......and believe me. I have since. God's there.......you just have to look for him.

Okay, I know in previous writings, I've given you a glimpse into the mind of my very strange husband, but he did something the other night that beats all.
He has been working alot over the last couple of weeks, getting ready for Christmas, getting the plant ready for year end, and a plethora of other things. So, he's been unusually tired as of late. Well, if you know Matt at all, you know that when he gets overtired, he gets.........overweird......Yeah......overweird.
The other night, I woke up to Matt fumbling around with something on the headboard. I woke to see the clock reading 2:53 and then it went black. I was slightly confused for a minute, since I had just been awaken from a dead sleep, and then within seconds my confusion got tremendously worse as I realized that Matt had pulled the plug and taken the clock off the headboard, and was presently holding it like a favorite stuffed animal, hugging it to his chest. I asked him what he was doing and his answer was, "Nuthin." I said, "Then put the clock back." I then went to reach for it and his response to me was to hug it tighter and say, "Get your own, B**ch." Yep, you read that right. "Get your own, B**ch."
I was shocked, to say the least, (Matt does not call me names like that...LOL)but what happened next was even more perplexing. At this point, he proceeded to pull the clock to his face and start kissing it. Yep, kissing it. He was making out with our alarm clock. I started laughing and shaking him. He kinda woke up, and I told him to give me back the alarm clock. He handed it to me, rolled over, and went back to sleep.
The next morning, he woke up and looked up to see what time it was and said, "Honey, did we lose power last night? The clock's not working." I totally cracked up. I told him that no, the power hadn't gone out and that he had decided to make out with the clock at 3 o'clock that morning. After explaining the whole scenario to him, he finally just looked at me and said, "That did not happen and you have no proof." To which I said, "You're right. I have no proof, Thank God.......but I do have one question for you........is this a relationship that I am going to have to worry about?"

At Years End

2007-12-28T20:26:00.000-08:00

I am so distressed............MY LAPTOP IS NOT WORKING!!!! I feel like my stinkin' arm has been cut off. I am seriously bummed.
There are a bunch of things on my laptop that I need. I have some stuff that I've been working on for over a year, that I needed by this weekend, and I also have some submissions for CrankMama should they choose to keep me on as a writer. (This bothers me but not so much that I can't live with it. To be honest, I've decided to not fight for this position. If I get it okay, if I don't, I'm fine with that. The more I read some of the other submissions, the more I'm realizing that CrankMama is a little more liberal than my christian brain can handle sometimes....LOL) But, there are some things that I have been working on for almost a year, nearly a year and a half, that I really need to be able to access. Then, not to mention, all of the pictures of the kids for the last three years. If I lose those I'm going to seriously have a mini breakdown.
How am I writing this you ask?......I am now using Matt's computer with it's ancient HUGE keyboard. It'll suffice but I love my laptop. I swear that thing is an extention of me most of the time. It's how I keep up on the news, research things I'm working on, keep in touch with my friends, and it's also where I keep my journal, as well and a plethora of other important things to me. :0(

Okay, time to change the subject........

Matt decided that he was going to sell his truck. He's been trying to come up with a good way to show that his truck is burly and manly. He'd like to sell it to someone who will get some good use out of it. Well, he and my brother, Trevor, came up with a way to show it off the other day.
My cousin brought his car over here quite a while ago and when it was here it decided that it wasn't going to work anymore. So, he asked us if he could keep it here for a few days.....We said sure. A few days turned into a few weeks, then a few months.......its still here........Sorry Derek. It's still here but it's just not in the same condition as it was when he left it here.
Okay, to be honest, they called Derek after they decided to trash his car and told him what they had done. He didn't care. It doesn't run and it's not worth anything so if they can have a little bit of fun with it, so much the better.......and Matt's going to use one of these pictures taken of the incident as his 'selling picture.........I wish him luck.......LOL. Boys will be boys right?

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. We really did. The kids and I decorated our ugly Charlie Brown tree a few weeks ago in anticipation of their Christmas party and my family coming to spend Christmas at our house. The family came over here on Christmas Eve and we had dinner and opened christmas gifts. I was very happy to recieve a 'photograph carousel' from Dakota, a new book by Tami Hoag from Montana, some DVD shelves from Matt and the kids, and a membership to a tanning salon from Matt. I was thrilled. I also recieved a very beautiful black hills gold bracelet from my mom and dad as well as a matching white gold and black hills gold locket. It's gorgeous and it holds 4 pictures so I got toput in pictures of the kids AND Matt. I love it. It was a fun night, as always, and really made me thankful for all the blessings that God has given me in my life.
I have such an awesome family. I see other people who don't get along with their families, or don't see there families, or whatever else happenes between loved ones in their lives and it really makes me grateful for the people that God chose to be a neverending part of my life. We are close, we love each other unconditionally, and even though we have our disagreements sometimes, we generally get along on a regular basis and are quite happy to be with one another.
Every year I try to pick one person that has really made my year special. Many times it's been Matt or the kids, I've also picked my mother-in-law, my sister, and my dad. This year, though, I am going to pick my mom. She has been there for me more this year than ever before. She's let me vent, rant and rave, cry on her shoulder, talk, brag about good fortune, and she's listened to every single thing I've thrown into her ear. I've done quite a bit of soul searching this year, especially over the second half, and the only person I've really spoken with about it was my mom. When I felt that everything was too heavy for my shoulders to carry, she helped me realize that I was stronger than I thought. When I needed to cry, her shoulders were there to soak up my tears. When I felt that the weight of everything that was going on around me was ready to make me crumble, she's the one who held me up, encouraged me, and made me feel that I could take another heaping of whatever it was that was so heavy. Thanks mom. I love you.
As the year winds down to the end, I decided that I wanted to go into the new year with a nice clean house, and a new verve for keeping up with things instead of letting them overwhelm me. So, today, even though I was exhausted, I decided that I was going to get some stuff done. (I've been really tired the last few days and I don't know why....maybe the close of the new year, the weather, low iron count because I'm not taking my iron pills like I should........I don't know.)So, this morning I got up, checked my emails and then dug in. I ended up getting the living room clean and back to normal, vacuumed the floors, cleaned the kitchen, washed those floors, cleaned out my car, took down the christmas tree and stored the decorations in the attic, cleaned my bedroom (including making the bed, which I hadn't done in nearly two weeks), cleaned the dining room and washed the floors in there, washed all the new clothes the kids got for christmas, washed, dried, AND folded four more loads on top of that, and right now, the kids have been fed, given dessert, and bathed and are awaiting bedtime.......and to top it all off managed to kill Matt in 8 games of Wii tennis and two Wii bowling matches (one of which was done with my LEFT hand)WOO HOO!!! Am I what you would call supermom or what!?! I was so productive. Matt came home and was shocked at all I had accomplished. I even drug the stinkin' christmas tree outside instead of waiting for him to do it........LOL.
So anyway, I hope you all had a wonderful 2007. My wish for you is that 2008 is 100 times better and that you recieve many of God's blessings. Thank you to all of you that have had a big or small part in my life this year. You have made my year special and I am thankful to God for each and every one of you......even if you don't realize it. You are ALL important to me.
Merry Christmas and God's blessings for the new year. May He bring you many joys.

So Much going on!!

2007-12-20T14:18:00.000-08:00

There's been so much happening lately that I scarcely know where to begin....
First of all, Matt FINALLY decided on a truck and bought it a couple weeks ago. It's a Ford F-250 4X4 deisel and he's like a proud papa. He got a really great deal on it and it came with an extra set of tires as well as a canopy. He's had to show it off to everyone and every time he gets in it there's a huge grin on his face. And the thing that cracks me up the most is that he likes me to drive it. Something about his wife behind the wheel of a burly man vehicle that turns him on.......LOL......whatever. But, I'm glad I can drive it because the kids love it too and are constantly asking to take Dad's truck to take Kota to school since my car makes them feel small now.........LOL.Shortly after Matt brought home his new truck, Montana got sick........really sick. She ended up with two ear infections and ran a continuous fever for over 5 days. Mostly between 101 and 102 but twice it spiked to 103.7. I felt so bad for her. The fever was giving her a terrible headache and for 2 days we couldn't move her or even touch her without her screaming in pain. It made me think of the way I feel when I have a migraine. So, we kept the lights off as much as possible, snuggled a lot, made sure she ate a bunch of sugar free popsicles, and nursed her back to health. It was so nice to see her finally coming out of it. It really had me worried and I had made the decision to give in just one more night before I took her into the doctor again, when the fever broke, and she woke up acting mostly normal. It was so sad to see her so sick because she's such an energetic active kid. To see her so lethargic and out of it was breaking my heart.
We had the kids Christmas party on Saturday night. It ended up being really fun. We had RSVP's for 19 kids but only 8 kids ended up showing up. (Some got sick, some had previous plans they forgot about, and others just plain forgot about it.) The kids started getting discouraged and I felt so bad for them. They had put together gift boxes for each of the kids that were expected and when most of them didn't show, they were so disappointed. But, after the ones that did show up got here, the kids ended up having a blast. They played twister, had their gift exchange, and then got to hand out their gift boxes. Every kid left happy and Dakota and Montana are really looking forward to having another party next year. It was really fun and it also gave us adults time to visit while the kids kept each other amused. All in all, it was a really good idea.
I've spent the last few days getting some christmas shopping done. I still have a bunch left to do but I've gotten about half of it done. Which means I'm much farther along this year than I was last year by this time.
I'm trying to think of other things that have been going on. I know there's more but I'm having a hard time recalling........I'm very tired..............Oh yeah, a little while back, I was told of a .com site that was interviewing people to ghostwrite as a character called CrankMama. I sent them a sample of my writing and interviewed with them and they said they'd get back to me. This afternoon, I submitted my first write up AS CrankMama. This is my last test. I should hear back from them soon, weather or not they want me on their writing team. This isn't a paid positon but it offers a place for me to develop and hone my skills, exposure for my writing, the potential to springboard into other writing work as a result of this experience/association (as has happened for previous writers, a fun and interesting team in which to participate, and a future reference in writing should the need arise later.I'm excited about it but am not getting my hopes up. Unfortunately because of......well, life.......I didn't get a whole lot of time to put much thought into the ghostwrite. I'm hoping it's good enough, even though I know it's not one of my best writings. We'll see what happens. If I get a writing position, great, but, if I don't, I'm okay with that too. I've got some other stuff up my sleeve that I've put into motion as of recently and am looking forward to other possibilities.
Matt's been busy working his butt off at the mill. He's been working anywhere from 10 to 16 hours a day trying to get things taken care of before the plant shuts down for maintainance so we're not seeing a whole lot of him around here. He came home the other night and showed me a picture of a couple of deer that have been hanging around the yard. Apparently, they are used to all the noise and men being around and aren't really shy.He looks forward to seeing them and it looks as though they have become a sort of mascot for Oeser. They really are beautiful and it's nice to see wildlife still around somewhere that has grown in population so much over the last several years.
Well, I hope all of you are ready and excited for Christmas this year. I know I am. I love it. 4 days and counting!! YAY!! Merry Christmas all!!

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Dead Mice & Fasting

2007-12-01T10:23:00.000-08:00

THE TWINS: RICOCHET & BOOMERANG
For the last couple of months, we've noticed that our cats have been getting quite........ahem........large. Discussing this with the kids the other day, I told them that it was a combination of their bodies getting ready for winter and then explained that they were probably becoming very good mousers.
Sure enough, about a week ago, we are heading out the door on the way to take Kota to school, and what should we find on our doorstep?........you guessed it.....an enormous juicy, very dead mouse.
Through a tremendous amount of gross'! and eeewww's!, we finally get in the car and Dakota says, "Mom, why in the world was there a dead mouse on our doorstep?" I explained to him that this was a way for our cats to show us their love......he was confused....."What do you mean? They show us they love us by putting dead animals on our doorstep?"I said, "Yep. See, food is what a cat values most. It's THE most important thing to them. And, in a cats mind, when they give you their most prized posession, their food, it's their way of saying, 'I give this to you because I love you.'Do you understand?"
And to my amazement, Dakota said,"You mean like in the bible when people would give sacrifices to God?" I was so proud of him for making that connection! "Exactly!" I said, "Back in bible times, people had to grow the food they needed to eat. Weather it was animal or plant, they grew it. It was precious to them. That's why, when sacrifices were given, it was the animals they grew and slaughtered for meat, or the grains and vegetables they grew. It was the most important thing
He sat back and smiled and said, "So, the cats just wanted to let us know that we're more important to them than their food........way cool mom."

There have been many things going on in my life lately, and in the lives of many people around me that I love and care for tremendously. I have spent the last several nights in prayer. Talking to God about everything going on in my life and everything going on around me. At one point, during a 6 hour long conversation with God, I knew he wanted me to fast. I called my mom, told her what was going on, and asked her if she would fast with me. She wholeheartedly said yes, and we agreed to do it together yesterday.
Because she has medical conditions that need to be taken into account, and because I have a family that needs to be fed (and I'm the only one that cooks around here), we decided that we were going to give up food for most of the day, and only eat dinner each day for one week.......I felt guilty about this, like I wasn't truly fasting the way I should be. I called my mom and by the end of the conversation, I felt so much better. This is what she told me.
Times change, and what people don't understand, is that fasting is not just food. The common belief, is that fasting is giving up food for a period of time, and replacing it with prayer........but what if food isn't the most important thing to you? Fasting can be the giving up of ANYTHING that is extremely important to you and replacing it with prayer.
So, this is what I've decided to do. I am fasting through breakfast and lunch, spending that time in prayer, and then eating dinner with my family. And, since I've decided to eat dinner, I felt that it was important that I do something else to make up for that. So, I'm replacing reading.
If you know me, you know that I am an AVID reader. I love reading. I love love love it!! Every single night, before I go to bed, I sit in the chair in my bedroom and read. I emerse myself into whatever world I'm reading about, if just for a little while, and completely forget about whatever's going on in my real world. Reading is very important to me. So, in place of not fasting for dinner, I'm giving up reading for the next week. Instead, in the time that I would normally spend reading, I'll be praying. I'll sit or kneel at my reading chair, and I'll spend that hour or so that I would normally be emersed in an imaginary world, talking to God about the things going on in this world instead. The only reading I'll be doing, is whatever God leads me to read from the bible.
I've been praying a lot lately. Talking to God and spending much more time thinking about what he wants me to lay at his doorstep. Hopefully, I'll know exactly what it is real soon.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

2007-11-30T12:47:00.000-08:00

Christmas rolls around and you know there's that ONE movie that you HAVE to see before the end of the year.........you know it. Well, that movie, for me and my kids, is 'A Charlie Brown Christmas.' I love it. It always brings back such incredible memories for me.

Every year living at home, for as long as I could remember, when this movie would come on, my mom would make a big deal out of it. She'd let us stay up late, even if it was showing on a school night, to watch it. She's go into the kitchen and make popcorn (I can still smell it), while we ran to our bedrooms to put our pajama's on and grab our pillows. Then we'll all meet in the living room, sitting on the floor around our popcorn bowl and soda's, and we'd watch A Charlie Brown Christmas as a family. We looked forward to it every single year, knowing that it was going to be a special night.No matter what had happened that day, or week, or year, that was one night where we all got along and enjoyed our time as a family.

As much as I love this movie, I don't even think that I can say that I love it for the story itself. Don't get me wrong, I love the story. I love how the moral of the story is steeped in the bible and the true meaning of Christmas. I'll never forget Linus standing on the stage telling Charlie Brown the true meaning of Christmas......but, the excitement it hold has more to do with the memories it brings. The family time we share, and the tradition that I strive to give my own children. The special night of the year that we do the exact same thing. Special time for us to be a family.

The other night, it came on television, and, as I did when I was a child, my kids looked forward to it. With anticipation, we went in to make our buttered popcorn, we put on our p.j.'s, we grabbed our drinks (milk for my kids and iced tea for me), and settled in for our favorite Christmas movie. And when I went to tuck the kids in bed an hour past their bedtime, humming the theme song of the movie, we remembered the story Linus told Charlie Brown, and then we said our prayers, thanking God for A Charlie Brown Christmas, and for the baby Jesus born in a barn, who grew to a man who hung on a cross, and died for our sins.......and we thanked him for giving us one more chance to make another wonderful memory as a family.....something that Dakota and Montana just may want to pass on to their own children one day.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-24T16:32:00.001-08:00

So our Thanksgiving turned out really nice this year. Much better than I was expecting it to.
Usually we spend the day with my family, have dinner with them, and then head over to Matt's family for munching and dessert. This year we decided that we were going to switch it around and spend the day with Matt's family. We had dinner with them and then headed over to my family for dessert.
It was really nice. I spent most of the day visiting with Matt's aunts Lisa and Sue, and with his cousin Jenny. I love all of them and spending the day with them has made me realize how much I would like to spend more time with them during the year. I told Matt that we really needed to start making time with Lisa and Sue. So, that's what we're going to do.

We've been invited to spend a few days in Canada with Matt's Uncle Chuck & Aunt Sue in Sunpeaks. Apparently they bought a 3 story townhouse with 2 bedrooms there and they've asked us to come and spend some time there with them. I'm very excited.Matt's very excited too. He loves to ski but doesn't get to go very often. His aunt was telling us that their house is right at the bottom of the mountain and you can litterally put your ski's on and ski off their back porch. And it's great because we don't have to spend a ton of money to stay in one of the 5 star hotels they have......we get to stay at Chuck & Sue's......5 star service at a 1 star price......you can't beat that. All we have to do is pay for our gas, get Matt a lift ticket, and have a bit of spending money.I'm not a skier, but I am very excited about spending 4 days without the munchkins, reading by the fire, watching the snow outside the window, and maybe doing a bit of shopping. I'm not a big shopper but I think I would be happy checking out some of the little boutiques and getting some sourviners for the kids. And I'm sure that I wouldn't mind taking advantage of a spa package while I'm there......hee hee.But I guess, most of all, I'm looking forward to spending the evenings in some adult company with people I truly enjoy being with, snuggling with my cold husband when he comes in from skiing, and just enjoying the time we have bein alone together. I'm really looking forward to our little trip and hope that we can make a decision on when we can go soon. We're also looking forward to spending some time over on Whidbey Island with Matt's Uncle Dennis & Aunt Lisa. Two more people that I absolutely love. I could sit and talk to Lisa forever and never run out of things to talk about and Dennis is such a nice guy. He really reminds me of my dad in a lot of way. I enjoy talking to him and can't wait to spend some time with them too.

After having dinner with Matt's family, we decided to head over and have dessert with my family and play some games. We headed over and were pleasantly surprised to find that MOST of the family was still there. So, we hung out with them, played a few games, ate too much dessert, (Matt bought a raspberry swirl cheesecake that was to die for) and was home by 8:30.
Dakota stayed overnight with my dad so he could do some Black Friday shopping the next morning and we took Montana home. We all went in and snuggled on our bed and read a couple of bedtime stories and then Montana was out like a light. We watched a movie, snuggled on the couch, and then went to bed ourselves. All in all, it was a pretty good day.
Last night we went out with some friends for karaoke night at El Gitano. It was lots of fun. I started getting bummed because all the people that were going to go out with us started cancelling. It ended up being us, one other couple, my mom and sis, and my brother. We had a blast. I laughed so much last night with Jamie, mom, and Tara, that my stomach was still hurting when I got up this morning.
My gram had watched the kids overnight for us so this afternoon, I decided to take advantage of them being gone and finished up their Christmas shopping. We decided to buy them a Wii for their gift. I also bought them 9 games for it, and then bought 10 movies for them to add to their DVD collection. They are going to be completely stoked since we have totally convinced them that they are, under no circumstances, getting the Wii for Christmas.........which they are completely bummed about.....LOL.
We just got home from Gram's and now we're just waiting for Matt to call. We're planning on heading out and meeting him for dinner as soon as he's done working for the day. I really miss him today so I'm glad we're going to go and spend some time as a family tonight. Then we'll come home for some more snuggle movie time. Should be a pretty good evening if you ask me. ;0)

A Discussion of 'The Golden Compass'

2007-11-20T19:13:00.000-08:00

Okay, so, I’ve been researching the new movie coming out called, The Golden Compass. I’m not going to get into it in depth right now, maybe later, but I thought I’d share my most recent conversation about it with you………….tell me what YOU think………..
Have you heard of this movie?

This is how the conversation started. I'd heard some things about the film not being great for children although it was being directed at children. So, I started researching it. I’ve read several reviews over the past couple of days, and have even read the first several chapters of the first book in which the movie is based on. My kids will not be seeing it and after speaking with my son about it, he’s decided that even if he had been allowed to watch it, he wouldn’t. He doesn’t think it’s something he should be watching.

This is ONE of the reviews I read. I posted it on a different website, wanting to find out what others thought of it. What their opinions of it might be. This is one of the responses I’ve gotten and felt the need to answer directly………(Although I’ve taken out some of the names, so as not to offend the people involved, I’ve not omitted the language. I’m sorry. Please excuse the swearing.)

(This is the review taken from http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/432269/the_religious_controversy_of_the_golden.html)
A new movie set to be released December 7th, 2007 called "The Golden Compass" is stirring up a lot of debates. The creator Phillip Pullman is an atheist who is using this movie to draw kids in to his beliefs. The movie is geared toward children and is currently written out to be a trilogy based on Mr. Pullman's His Dark Materials book trilogy. The trilogy idea is to counteract the popular Chronicles of Narnia.

I for one am a Christian who values Biblical beliefs, but even if you don't I think you are going to seriously consider not allowing your children to watch this movie after you read a little more about it. For instance, in the movie the children set out to kill God, and when they do they go about life doing whatever they want. Do you want your children to learn that they can kill whoever is in authority over them so that they can be free to do whatever they want? That would create utter chaos. Plus children who are not taught to respect authority are usually the ones who grow up without any fear of police, judges, or the law.

If you Google the synopsis of the book version you will read such topic as castration and female circumcision. Whether these concepts enter the movie series I don't know, but why would you want to take your kids to learn something like that. The author is hoping that the December 7th release will get kids to ask for the books for Christmas. So whatever is omitted from the movie will end up in front of your children in the form of a book. What bothers me most is that they are going to deceptively advertise this movie as a kid movie. They want it to be the next Harry Potter. They even got Nicole Kidman to star in the film.

Catholic League President Bill Donohue expressed his concern to Fox news interviewer John Gibson. Donohue condemned the book and was very troubled that parents who view the advertisements for the movie will take their kids to see it. Then they will be duped in to buying the books which are not only anti-Catholic but also promote atheism.

From what I have read this movie is based on the least offensive of the three books. So if we allow this film to get the attention they are hoping for, you can count on the next two films getting increasingly worse. I urge you to study up on this film before allowing you children to view it whether you are religious or not.

One thing that strikes me as funny is how Pullman doesn't believe in God and yet he has children kill God. How could anyone kill God if God doesn't exist? It's kind of ironic.

Resources:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/compass.asp

Fox News Network. "The Big Story with John Gibson" Interview with Catholic League President Bill Donohue. October 9th, 2007.

THE RESPONSE I GOT FROM AN UN NAMED PERSON: (once again, please excuse the vulgar language)
I am sick and fucking tired of religous zealots who what to voice their one sided ideals about every fucking thing that comes out in the form of visual or audio media. They take shit way too seriously (thats why they are religous zealots) and then when a religous leader pipes up and says "hey this isn't so bad" they change their tune about it (again because they are religous zealots and can't form their own opinion about shit because they have to be told its okay by a religous leader). My second gripe is that they will use the guise of "whats good for kids" as a way to convince people / sheep that should boycott "X" because of the kids - LET PARENTS DECIDE WHATS GOOD FOR THEIR KIDS FOR FUCKS SAKE! Keep religon out of non-religous peoples lives! People can make all the Pro-God shit they want and shove it down the throats of non-believers, but the second someone makes something that is a 180 degree idea from theirs they condemn and want EVERYONE in the whole world to know that it shouldn't be.
Also something that shitstack OMITTED from his review is that (and whats great is this is from his reference too!)
...................and sinister ecclesiastical assassins to defeat the oppressive forces of a senile God.

THE GOD WAS SENILE which means that the GOD was not IN IT'S RIGHT MIND! IT WAS SELF DEFENSE!
And also if your kids don't listen to you OR believe what they see in the movies I think that is a problem with the parents!
Also:
1) Castration actually is a punishment that can be used in the USA if you are a violent rapist in the USA as seen here, and also we (the country that tries to get others to think like us while pointing guns to heads of other nations *coughs BUSH*) allow other cultures to continue to do female circumcisions. So why are the right wings so up in arms about this?

NOW, MY RESPONSE TO THIS PERSON:

Okay , I’m not going to get into a big religious fight with you but I do want to make a couple of points:

1. Why is it that everybody else in this world can voice an opinion about something and the only ones you start name calling and swearing at are the ones that are voicing christian views. In case you’ve forgotten, I am a christian and when you bash them, you bash me. I’ve seen you call us hypocrits, judgemental, and whatever else you feel we are……..all interspersed with language that is very offensive. But, have I ever not considered you my friend? YOU are profiling me. I am a christian and not ashamed of it. Part of not being a hyprocrit is standing up for what you believe in. Which you and I are both pretty good at doing…..LOL. Nor have I ever been judgemental of you. As different as you and I are, I’ve always considered you a friend. I think you know that……..And even though the two of us are completely different, have I EVER come in here and verbally bashed you or people that believe the same way that you do? No. Never. I may have disagreed but I’ve never bashed you or anyone that believes differently than me. I do value your opinion, but I don’t value the language and the namecalling that goes along with it.

2. I don’t care what the pope said, I had my own opinions where Harry Potter was concerned , and just because he believes that a movie involving witchcraft is okay, doesn’t mean I do. I never changed my opinions and I never will, AND, all my ’christian friends’ kept to their beliefs as well………at least the ones I see on a regular basis. I’ve done research on this and that is just ONE review. I’ve read the first several chapters of the first book of ‘The Golden Compass’ and have done several hours of research. I will stand by my belief on this as well…………..no matter what the pope says about it…………besides, I’m not catholic.

3. People tend to gravitate to people of like mind. I think you know this. If you were standing in a room with 8 people who believed the same way you did, and 8 people who had the same views as me, and we were debating………ANYTHING………which side would you gravitate to before the debate was hardly started…………….THE PEOPLE WITH THE SAME BELIEFS AS YOU!
I value the opinions of my christian brothers and sisters. I’m not saying that they have the ONLY opinion that matters. I will listen to the opinion of anyone. But, I’m not ashamed to admit that I value their opinions tremendously. In my church, we have all been taught to hold up our brothers and sisters, to help them out and give them a hand when necessary……….that doesn’t just have to mean when they need their yard mowed, or a car fixed. It means all the time………like in the teaching of our children the values that we want to instill in them. So yes, I will listen to what they have to say………especially if they’ve directly involved themselves with whatever it is I’m discussing……………like the reading of these books and the watching of these movies.
I listen to the people at NASA, teachers, and researchers to get information on different planets (or any subject really). I know what I know about these things because of them. I don’t have to fly to the moon to know that it’s cold and has a huge crater covering a huge section of it, or climb into a volcano to know it can get really hot and blow it‘s top. It’s what I’ve learned from the research of others……….the same goes for everything.
Let me ask you this: If that same article had come across and was written by someone that wasn’t claiming Christianity, and the ‘religious’ words had been omitted, would you still be as pissed about that review?

4. Matt's Grandpa was senile before he died. But that didn't mean it was time to just pop him off and get on with our lives. He may not have remembered who we were the last month of his life, but he did remember his past. He talked of his past and he enjoyed it. He got to relive some of the most enjoyable times in his life because of that. I could never deprive him of that.
Killing God, regardless of how he was, IMO, is wrong........killing anyone illegally IS WRONG. I will not teach my children that disobeying authority is right.....it would cause anarchy.......scary if you ask me. I hope that is something never never happens.
AND castration may be legal or whatever, but it's NOT something that my 9 year son or 4 year old daughter needs to even be thinking about at this point in their lives. They should just be able to be children without the worries and minds of adults like you and I. They will get enough of that later. They don't need that kind of stuff in their minds at so young. Their biggest worries right now should be what kind of jelly to put on a peanut butter sandwich……….let them be children for goodness sake.

Look, this is way longer than I was planning on it being……………I guess that just means I can get pretty fired up too…….LOL.
Don’t think I’m angry with you. I just wanted to make a few points. I do value your opinion……..but is it at all possible to do it without the namecalling? THAT’S what I find particularly offensive…….sorry, but it’s true.........

So, what do you think? Tell me. I'd like to know your opinion on this movie or the books. What do you know about it? What have you heard about it? Will you be seeing it? Will your kids be seeing it?

The Mayonnaise Jar & Two Cups Of Coffee

2007-11-08T10:55:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know I don't usually do this but a friend of mine posted this on another forum that I am on very frequently and it made me smile. Shouldn't we all live our lives a little bit more like this?

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began , he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded t o fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professo r then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Changes Are Coming........I Can Feel It

2007-11-05T10:53:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get those feelings in the pit of your stomach that just makes you KNOW that something is going to happen........and it's probably not going to be good?
For the last two days, I've had this feeling that something is about to happen and there's nothing I can do to stop it..........of course, I don't know if it's going to be bad........I just have that feeling in my gut.
Things feel weird.......I feel like I've been walking around in a bubble for three days........everything just feels so..................surreal.
I pray it's nothing terrible..........nothing that concerns me or the kids or Matt.....I don't know.........it's just weird.
Matt's going to go flying with his uncle this weekend.........His uncle is part of an acrobatic stunt team that will be practicing for an air show on Saturday and he's invited Matt to go up with him while they practice...........he's extremely excited and as much as I feel I should be nervous about this, I'm not. I don't think Matt flying with Uncle Guy this weekend is the problem..........especially since this feeling I've had started a day or two before Matt was asked to go..........I really beleive he'll be fine. So if that's not the reason for this awful feeling...........what is?
Does it have to do with Matt, Montana, or Dakota? Or someone else that we know............me?...........or is it my overworked imagination getting the better of me?
I hate feeling like this...............I really hate it.

Missing Matt

2007-10-30T10:26:00.000-07:00

LITTLE MISS HANNAHBUG
I miss Matt like crazy. He's on a hunting trip and although he's not going to be gone near as long as last year, 5 days seems like way too long. Of course, I feel lucky this year because he's actually staying in a cabin and there is a working phone there. He's been calling me in the evenings and letting me know how he's doing and saying hello to the kids. I don't talk to him for very long but it eases my mind knowing that I get to talk to him for a few minutes before I go to bed each night. It helps me sleep better and I like hearing him tell me how much he's missing me and how much he thinks about me when he's walking around the woods by himself tracking his deer.
I'm just (im)patiently waiting for him to come home tomorrow. It always amazes me how much we miss each other when we're not together. I wrote Matt a little love note on Saturday morning before he left, and while he was in taking a shower, I rolled it up and stuck it in a new pair of gloves in his backpack. He told me on Sunday night when he called that he was surprised to pull it out of his pack and it made him miss me all that much more. Aaaawww........what a love.
KOTA AS A ZOMBIE DOCTOR

The kids are really looking forward to Halloween. They don't know that their dad is going to be back in time to take them trick or treating. It's going to be a surprise for them.....I can't wait to see their faces when he walks in the door. They are missing him a lot and they'll be completely excited when he gets home in time to go with us to celebrate halloween.

OUR PRETTY LITTLE BARBIE PRINCESS

I'm thinking we'll probably take the kids trick or treating at my Gram's house again this year. There are so many houses to go to and there are so many people that go. The kids always have so much fun. I'm just hoping that it's not raining or freezing like last year. I also found out the Christ the King here in Bellingham is going to be doing the whole 'trunk or treating' thing this year. People come and park in the parking lot and kids get to go from car to car collecting candy. It should be a lot of fun and if you're a parent who doesn't want to be out for hours at a time, this is a great way to hit 100 cars in less than half the time it takes to hit 100 houses...........at least it always SEEMS like 100 houses each year.....LOL. So, maybe we'll do that too........or instead........I guess it depends on the weather and what time Matt gets home.
So, anyway, that's what's going on for us. I hope all of you have a wonderful Halloween. Be safe and get lots of candy!!

Those Crazy Morning People

2007-09-26T10:09:00.000-07:00

When I was at work today, I had some time when there was nothing to do. So, I decided to write my love a little letter. I thought I would share it with you since it made him laugh so hard. (No worries, no lovey dovey mushy crap.)

Hey Baby,
So, I woke up this morning and got to see the world as you do on most mornings.....ick. I don't think I want to do this on a regular basis. Although I found it easier to get up than I was anticipating, it still sucked.........and even though I've only been up for a little over 3 hours, I'm tired.....I want to go home and take a nap.
Holy crap, you should have seen me this morning when I got up. Now I know there is a really good reason that I've never been a morning person. I got out of bed and walked into the bathroom. I looked up into the mirror and just about screamed in terror! Sooooo not pretty. I'm very glad that on most mornings out of the year you are sleeping at 4:30 in the morning or the bedroom is black......I just don't know how you could love the zombie that was scaring the crap out of me just by looking at me in the mirror this morning. I don't know that woman, but whoever she is..........she needs a makeover.
There is a whole new race of people in the mornings, whom I have never made contact with until this morning, that will henceforth be affectionately referred to as 'those crazy morning people.'
I never realized how many people are actually fruit loopy enough to WANT to get up in the mornings to walk or jog.......AND THEY DON'T GET PAID FOR IT!! Which is the ONLY reason I got up as early as I did this morning. I saw some crazy things as I drove to work.
Those crazy morning people are coffee drinkers. I stopped at the gas station to put gas in my car and when I went inside to pay for it, there were 6 people standing in a line in front of the coffee pots waiting for it to finish percolating. They were rocking back and forth, hugging themselves, and mumbling quietly. I'm not sure but I think they may have actually been praying. I kid you not, I actually saw a man drinking coffee as he was running. He must have burned his mouth because he suddenly stopped, pulled the cup from his lips with a look of shock on his face, and then as if nothing happened, continued running......but the funny thing is that he did the same exact thing about 10 steps later! (You know, I think the crazy morning people's brains don't actually click on until after it starts to get light and they've burned themselves with their first cup of coffee a few times.)
Now, as you know, I've always been one of theose people that believe, when you hit an intersection or whatever in your car, and someone lets you go first, you be curteous enough to wave at them in acknowledgement as a 'thank you.' Well, did you know that there are crazy morning people, that jog or walk, that do that?
I hit an intersection coming into town this morning and there was a jogger that waved me through. So, me, being the half asleep moron that I was, thinking he could actually see my face in the dark, just smiles at him and drives on through.......I think he flipped me off.......I guess he thinks the same way I do.
So, I decide to be nice to the three fast walking women that were waiting at the next intersection and wave them on through. Now, just so you know, I think that fast walkers are an off breed of the crazy morning people. I swear to you that they are in a whole world all thier own. They are just so stinkin' happy!!..........but, I guess when you get to walk like an ostritch, and look completely retarded with your friends, and call it exercise, it's bound to make you smile........anyway, so, I wave these three women on through the intersection and they start their goofy walking and stop right in front of my car and wave 'thank you' to me with GINORMOUS smiles on their faces.......I flipped them off........it is just not right to be that stinking happy at 5:30 in the morning. (It's really amazing to hear the language that can come out of a Lynden woman's mouth at that time of morning. I didn't even realize that they KNEW language like that, let alone how to use it in the proper context........wow!) But, I do know now that in Lynden, at 5:30 in the morning, I am what the crazy morning people call 'mean freak' which, as we all know, is just a slang term for 'fellow crazy morning person in training.'
As I'm driving through town headed over to beat on the drive through window at The Quick Stop, or whatever it's called, I saw the most amazing thing! It was a family of raccoons.......window shopping! I'm so serious......there they were, walking down the sidewalk of Lynden past the windmill, just idling along like they didn't have a care in the world. I could just imagine them thinking, "Oh, what a nice little stroll. There really can't be anybody fruit loopy enough to be out this early in the morning. Let's go window shopping."
I just thought it was the cutest thing so I rolled down my window and made kissy noises at them. Now, I didn't think that you could actually disturb the morning stroll of a raccoon.......apparently I was wrong. I swear to goodness that the 'daddy' raccoon stood on his hind legs and shook his tiny little fist at me.......and if I'm not mistaken, I believe he said the exact same thing those fast walking ladies had the nerve to yell at me this morning.......but I have too much couth to repeat those choice words AGAIN........word of caution though, don't ever tick off a window shopping raccoon at 5:30 in the morning when he's window shopping with his family. He stared me down all the way to the Quick Stop. (To tell you the truth, I'm actually a bit afraid to be here alone in the morning tomorrow just in case he decides to get revenge while I'm opening the club........wow, just thinking about it is giving me the chills.)
I decided this morning that when I left the house, I was not going to make coffee and drink it before I left. Instead, I got a bottle of water out of the fridge and brought it to the car with me. Why you ask? Well, I know that it's not as strong as coffee...........I just needed it so that I could splash my face periodically on my way to Lynden to keep me awake until I could get to Tara and make her give me something a bit stronger..........like a straight shot of espresso injected directly into my blood stream.
Now, here is where I realized that I have a new religion. I am the high preistess of Java. I praise the coffee God and all that he empowers to make a good strong cup of espresso. I pulled up to the drive through and Tara must have been expecting me, even though it was half an hour before she opened, because I only had to say a small prayer and bang on the window for a couple of minutes repeating quietly, "open, open, open, open" while rocking back and forth hugging myself, before she opened the window and said, "Oh man, what is with you crazy morning people?" (Of which she is one but won't admit to because that would kind of be like admitting you were sightly insane.)
So, I get my coffee from Sis, and a salad she insisted I take for lunch, and head over to the club. I walk in and flip on the lights and start getting ready for the day. I'm stocking the fridge with water and tell myself, "You know Tia, you should go and unlock the door so that you don't forget at 6 and have a crazy morning person standing outside knocking on the door repeating, "open, open, open, open"......I mean, we all know that I wouldn't do something like that. (Mind you, it's only a quarter till at this point.) I finish stocking the water and then walk over and flip the lock on the door. Not 15 seconds later, there are 8 women walking in the door and I don't even have the computer on yet. No music, no fans, and no voice saying, "Change you station now" every 30 seconds. I was like, "Well hello ladies........you must be crazy morning people."...........Okay, so I didn't say that, even though I was thinking it, but I did get some giggles from the women as they saw the surprised look on my face. They went on to explain that they were the regular 'morning' girls and usually sat out in the parking lot until the door was unlocked.........I wanted to smack them and tell them to go home and go back to bed.
I just don't know if I can handle these happy crazy morning people........who the heck put them in charge anyway?!! They talk too much.......it makes my brain feel weird. Of course, I am of the mind that if you talk more than three words before 7:30a.m. you are partly insane and should be incarcerated.
So, anyway, I just thought I'd give you a little insight into my thoughts and ponderings of the early morning race. They are crazy people and I don't fit in. I am much more comfortable in the late night crazy people crowd......but that's a whole new world I'll have to explain to you at a different time.
I love you. Hope you have a great day.
Love~ Tia

Okay, just so you guys know, I don't really think most of what I wrote. I was just trying to make my love laugh......which I did. It was actually kind of fun hanging out with new people and finding out what they enjoyed about the morning. And I always love seeing the perfect blue of an early morning dawn.
BUT, do beware of window shopping raccoons.

Keeping Our Heads Above Water And Going With The Flow

2007-09-17T21:57:00.000-07:00

Well, the new job thing is going pretty okay right now. We're still not used to everything but I think we're doing a pretty good job managing.
We're still struggling as far as the early mornings........which haven't happened as of yet but do start tomorrow. I'm not too worried as Matt has decided that on my early mornings, he's just going to go into work a couple of hours late and drop the kids at mom's house so we don't have to wake them up WAY too early. Sounds like it should be fine..........but, I really don't have to worry about that too much starting in October because my awesome boss Glenda has me working pretty much 9-4 every day except Tuesdays. I just hope that when the new girl comes in she decides to stick with the schedule that Glenda's already made........We'll see.
YOU'RE AWESOME GLENDA!!!!
So anyway, the job seems to be working out for us and I'm finding that I really like going in and visiting with all the ladies that come in. There are a couple of them that are a total kick in the pants and I already look forward to seeing them when I come in. And it's amazing to me how many women come in that I already know but didn't know they were members of Curves! I don't think there has been a single day that's gone by where someone I know didn't come in. I'm really having fun.
On other news, we got Dakota all registered at Custer and have met his teacher a couple of times. He's a really nice guy, who was in the military and runs his classroom like it. He's very strict with his students and pushes them to their limits, but also gives himself limits so that he doesn't go overboard. Dakota seems to like him and I really think that he's going to be a great teacher for him. Dakota needs someone to push him........and going along with the new teacher, we've also decided to employ a tutor for Dakota. At this point, he doesn't seem to need one too bad, but we would like him to get a heads up on reading and writing, which he's had trouble with in the past.
We wouldn't have even thought of doing this but, there is a retired school teacher that is missing teaching. She's been doing some business or something with The Family Tree, and has offered to tutor Dakota and make him 'top of his class' which is something that we would love. She seems like a darling little woman and wants to completely be involved in Dakota's schooling........as a matter of fact, we're thinking of having her tag along to his parent teacher conference with us in November so she can hear first hand how Dakota is doing and what he may need to be working on at that point. We're also going to talk to her and see if she would be willing to tutor Montana a few days a week to give her a heads up for kindergarten next year since I wasn't able to put her in preschool this year. We're very excited about this and are grateful to have someone willing to do what we can't seem to do ourselves.
I know a while back, I mentioned that Matt and I were looking at a house to buy in Custer........well, now that Dakota is going to Custer School and I am working in Lynden, we are more actively pursuing it.
There is a guy by the name of Don, that Matt has done business with several times, and he has a house that he has wanted to sell us for quite some time. I had never met this man before and have just heard my dad and Matt talk about him. They both like Don tremendously and Matt has spent quite a bit of time with him........doing business and just hanging out. He and his wife really like Matt and have told him so ever since their very first business meeting. (This is very common........everybody likes Matt.....lol.) As it's out of our price range, we didn't really put much stock in it. But, as we were leaving Dakota's open house the other night, we ran into Don. He once again started talking about selling us his house. We told him that it was a bit out of our price range and didn't think we could afford it............you know what he said?
"Don't worry. We'll figure out something. We'll do what we have to do to get you in. There are ways. I'll work with you however I can."
I won't go into details but he ran some ideas by us and some of it sounded pretty good. We are going to go and have lunch with him and his wife one day and sit down and talk about what we can do.
At this point, I hadn't even seen the house or property yet so yesterday, Matt and I took a drive so that he could show it to me. We drove over there and after pulling in the long driveway, drove back to a nice, secluded spot, with an early 90's manufactured home (not my ideal but Matt only wants to live in it while he builds a house), a huge shop, and a couple of outbuildings. It's got great potential and the property is much better than I was expecting. It's a full 5 acres and I can see many things that I would love to do with it already. We sat there for a while talking about where we would change things and what would go where........it almost felt like when we were engaged and talking about how we wanted our lives to be........now we're married but talking about all the things we want to do over the next 5 years in a house that just may end up being our first real completely ours home.
Anyway, the last couple of weeks have been jam packed with things and our lives seem to be making rapid changes............but we're going with the flow and keeping our heads above water so it's becoming a great experience...........and Matt was right........as usual..........we can manage anything when we do it together.

A New Beginning

2007-08-31T21:58:00.000-07:00

A new decision I've made is changing the way things are running around here. Most of you know that I have been an at home wife and mom ever since Matt and I found out we were pregnant with Dakota. Although it's been hard sometimes over the years, it suited us well and we've never regretted making that choice.
The plan we had orginally set, was to have Dakota and get pregnant again within 2 years. Then, when both of the children had started school, I would go back to work. God had different plans for us and, after 3 miscarriages, a lot of heartache, and 3 years later than we had planned, Montana decided to make her glorious appearance. Which, as you can tell, put all of our plans, 3 years behind schedule.
For the last several months, I've been wanting to get back out in the world. Don't get me wrong, I adore my kids and I love being with them, but after 10 years of not working, I'm ready to put some of my energies to other things.
I told Matt a few months ago, that I wanted to go back to work. I told him I wasn't in a hurry but was basically just going to wait until something interesting, or beneficial plopped in my lap. Although it's a year earlier than we wanted, since Montana doesn't start kindergarten until next year, an opportunity plopped in my lap. AND, even though it IS a year earlier than we anticipated, Matt is being very supportive of this decision.
A friend of mine was looking for someone to come in and fill spots at Curves in Lynden. I started asking questions and found that, even though I was tremendously nervous about it, it sounded like an interesting opportunity. So, I went in to talk to her, and despite having basically no work history, and a couple other strikes against me, she's given me a full time job. I'm still a little nervous but I'm sure she, as well as one of the cliets already there, are going to be great at helping me ease back into the working world.
So, with Matt working full time and running his business, and me starting work in Lynden, we were faced with the decision of what we were going to do about making sure Dakota got to school on time and home safely to someone to take care of him until I could get home. This presented a problem since there is a good possibility that both of us may be working as he's to be going to school and coming home.
So, we made a decision. We pulled Dakota out of the Bellingham School District and as of today, he is officially a student of Custer Elementary School. Because my mom is going to be watching Montana for us while we're working, we figured it would be better if we could just drop Dakota off there as well and he could catch the bus from her house and go to school from there, then when he's out of school, he can ride the bus to her house and be with family until we are finished working for the day. It seems like an ideal solution. And to make the transition even easier for him, he has the same bus driver I had when I went to school there. She's a wonderful woman and I've kept in touch with her over the years and I know that she will be especially good at keeping a protective wing around him when he's in her care.
I took him into the school today and he got to meet his principal and then after we were finished registering him, we decided to walk around the school. I showed him where the gym, bathrooms, and library were and then I got to show him some of the classrooms that Matt and I were both in when we went there. This was exciting to him, to be in the same place where his mom and dad first met, but, more so, was the pictures that are hanging on the lobby wall. I got to show him pictures of the classes that Matt and I were in while we were there. I pointed out myself and Matt, as well as several other people that he has met. He was amazed at how 'funny' we all looked. (I didn't think we all looked that funny but it was the same reaction that I used to have when I saw pictures of my parents in school......and it made me feel old......)
He's very excited to start the new school and now starts a brand new chapter in our lives......that chapter entitled 'The Working Mom'. One that our kids have never experienced and, frankly, one we've never experienced ourselves.......being the parents.
Whenever I start getting nervous about this decision, Matt just hugs me and tells me not to worry. That we'll manage it together and do fine, just as we always have. But it's such a big change.........so, when you say your prayers tonight before you go to sleep, think of the Lloyd's and pray that our transition will go smoothly.........It's a big change for us.

Oh.........Those Lazy Sundays

2007-08-19T21:56:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had one of those lazy Sunday's where the kids go out and watch cartoons and you and your love just snuggle in bed until late morning? It NEVER happens around here and after a late night last night, we decided that no matter what the cost, we were going to be completely lazy and sleep in this morning.
The kids were up until after midnight last night so they were content to sleep in until 10 this morning......which rearely happens. When they got up, they decided that they wanted to watch a movie so they popped Open Season into Dakota's Portable DVD player in his bedroom, grabbed a couple of granola bars in place of breakfast, and watched a movie while Matt and I got to snuggle.
It was sooooo nice. We snoozed a little and then woke up and just got to lay there and cuddle and talk. We ended up finally dragging our butts out of bed at noon because the kids came in and started jumping on the bed begging me to get up and make them some lunch. So, after spending a good half hour in family wrestling time, slamming each other around and almost breaking my bed, that's exactly what I did. I came out and made lunch.
After lunch we spent 3 hours watching a Dirty Jobs Marathon and wrestling in the livingroom. Matt promptly fell asleep after eating and continued to doze off and on until about half an hour ago when he decided to go out and turn his pumpkins. When he comes back in I plan on cooking the BBQ rib tips I need to get used for dinner with a little mashed potatoes and gravy with some fresh asparagus........if I can work up the energy.......if not, we get tuna sandwhiches.......mmmmmm..........
I've just finished watching 'The Notebook' while the kids have been outside playing and I'm thinking that it's time for me to get up and take a shower. Since I'm still in my jammies I figure I should go and change into something fresh. Can't stay in these jammies forever............that's why I'm going to shower and change into clean ones.
I think we're going to play a game after dinner and then when the kids are in bed we get to do a bit more cuddling on the couch and watch 'Stomp the Yard'.........I love snuggling and being lazy with Matt......it just happens so rarely that I truly do know how to appreciate it when it does happen. I'm a bit worried that Matt's not going to sleep well tonight after all the time he spent sleeping today.....but I guess that's okay. There's always ways of killing time in the middle of the night.
I feel like there are a million things I should be doing right now and I just plain don't want to. The kids are happy, Matt's relaxed, and everything is going smooth. I guess if I really think about it, I know there's things I should be doing, but, when I think about all the enjoyment we're getting out of this day, I know that leaving it be is worth it. We're all happy, content, relaxed, and comfortable with the way the day has gone. It makes me wonder why we don't do this more often.
Well, I see Matt walking in from the garden. Time for me to take a shower and go start dinner and get on with the laziness........is there anything more enjoyable?

FAIR WEEK!!!

2007-08-17T21:39:00.000-07:00

I love Fair Week.
When we were young, my parents were partners in The Video Depot in Lynden, Ferndale, and Fairhaven. So, because of this, they always had a booth at the Lynden Fair. It was really great because not only did my parents get in free but we got to spend every day at the fair. We'd head in in the morning, help mom and dad set things up if they needed us and then we were free to ride rides all day. We'd only show up back at the booth if we needed money or food.
I know I'm older now and I don't go on the rides anymore, but when Fair Week rolls around, I start to get the same butterflies of excitement in my tummy that I always did when I was a kid. It's not the rides, or the booths, or the food, or the people, or the concerts, or the smells...............it's ALL of it. I love it all. Everything combined.
I guess the exciting part for me now, is the way I get to see it through the kids eyes. I get to see them get so excited about one thing after the other just like my parents got to see that excitement in me. It's as much fun for me watching the kids enjoy the fair as it was growing up and enjoying it like they do.
I also, get to see the fair the way my parents did as adults now. I was never interested in the booths and arts and crafts and all of that, but, that's one of the things that Matt and I look forward to now. That's why, every year, we try to find someone to watch the kids for us for one day so we can go and see the fair as adults. Without the kids getting restless about not riding rides or eating......again. We'll get to walk through all the arts and crafts barns, looking at pictures, and quilts, and old toys, and really enjoy the things that we never appreciated when we were children. And, without the kids there we also get to stop and chat with people that we run into that we haven't seen in a while.(Which was so hard to do last night when we had little kids pulling us to the next ride......lol)
Watching the kids on the rides last night was so fun. To see them giggle when something was moving so fast, to see them laughing because they couldn't hold it in on the way down the big slide. Watching them talking over one another trying to figure out which ride they were going to go on next and which rides they wanted to ride more than once. It was all just so much fun!
Yeah, the fair is expensive. The rides are overprices, the food is overpriced and greasy, and most of the carnies are what nightmares are made of......BUT, if you ask me......... It's worth it. I think it's all of that blending together that is the magic of the fair. The one time of year when you get to go and be children all over again. If just for a minute.

DAKOTA & BLAKE

MONTANA & JENIA

The Water

2007-08-08T21:22:00.000-07:00

Is there anything better than being out on the water? I love being on the water. I love everything about water. Oceans, lakes, pools..........I love them.
We've spent a lot of time out in the bay fishing and crabbing over the last couple weeks. The fishing hasn't been great and even though we are pretty good at pulling up crab, they are never quite long enough..........but it doesn't matter. We still have so much fun.
We head out from Fairhaven and usually head in the direction of Larabee. It's a great past time for us to do as a family and I don't think there is anything better than flying across the water with the wind blowing in your face......the spray soaking everything that gets in it's path.
The first few times we took the kids out, it was kind of a struggle. Montana wanted to walk around he boat all the time, Dakota was always coming a bit too close for comfort when he would cast his line, and Matt would have no patience with any of it. But, after going out several times, Montana is less restless, Dakota takes more care to watch what he is doing and Matt realizes that he can't expect the kids to act like adults. What started out as exasperating has turned into one our most favorite family fun times.
The last time we went out we met, what my grandma would call, a drifter. He's a guy named Sean, who's been traveling the coast in his little one person pontoon looking boat, living off of what he can catch. (Unfortunately, for some unknown person, the crabpots he left out on a Sunday are not going to have anything in them when he pulls them up on Wednesday.) Sean was a commercial crab fisherman for a several years and then decided that he wanted to see more than the hull of his boat. So, he headed out. He was a very very nice guy and we spent quite a bit of time talking to him. Dakota and Montana thought he was mysterious and great, and he thought Montana had the cutest little face when she would yell across the water to ask him a question. After a while, we wished him good luck and started heading toward the bird sanctuary..........I do wish Sean luck and hope that his adventure is all he hoped it would be. He sure has more guts than I do.
Montana got to touch a starfish for the first time the last time we were out too. She's seen them on rocks before but never touched one. We pulled the boat in close enough that Matt could lean out and pull one off a rock jutting out from a big island. He handed it to me and I turned it over so Montana could see the underside of it. I explained to her how starfish eat, how they can have a limb cut off and grow it back, and let her touch and hold it. She thought it was the coolest thing and loved the bright purple color. Then I explained to her how it would die if we kept it, so with a sad little, "Bye bye Starfish," she dropped it back into the water and watched it sink to the bottom.
Matt and I love the water. I grew up in a family that loves the water and so did Matt. It's exciting to know that we are instilling in our kids the same love that our parents gave to us. I'll never forget the times I spent on the Oregon Coast with my family, and Matt will never forget the many times he spent fishing with his dad. Giving our kids the same joy of the water that our parents gave us is almost like learning to love it all over again. It's amazing to watch Dakota and Montana in their excitement of climbing into the boat and to see the wide smiles on their faces as soon as Matt starts speeding across the water.
We're headed out again tomorrow.........and probably again on Friday.
I can't wait.

Summertime Fun & Birthday Parties

2007-08-05T20:53:00.000-07:00

I feel like I don't have any time to blog anymore. It's nutso around here being summer and all. There always seems to be a million things going on at once.
Matt's vacation is over. He went back to work on Tuesday and is back in the full swing of things. It was fun to have him home for the week he had off. We didn't do anything too special.......spent a couple days fishing, took the kids to see Transformers (totally awesome movie. The graphics were incredible.), worked around the house (The garden is looking beautiful.),

and got our pool. (We ended up having to drive all the way to Kent to pick it up to get it before he went back to work.) It was worth it though.
We've had so much fun playing in it. It's awful cold when you first get in but we've realized that you actually warm up quite quickly and get used to it. It was a bugger getting it up but man it's been a blast. We brought it home and started looking at the ground and realized that we didn't have a spot flat enough so Matt ended up going and getting 5 yards of sand to to put down and even out the ground. Then it took 2 1/2 days to set up and fill. It was crazy........but, it's big enough for us to play volleyball in and swim laps so it's so worth it just for the excercise alone.

Last saturday night we had a birthday dinner for Matt at Boss Twead and then everybody came over to our house for bon fire time. Matt and my cousin decided that it would be nice to take a dip and jumped in the pool. When they realized that nobody else thought it would be quite as fun, they decided to get out and bitch about everybody being wusses......lol. It was a lot of fun to kick back around the campfire, with no one in a hurry, have a few drinks, and just hang out and visit. We weren't expecting all the company after dinner but it ended up being a really great time and a very good, memorable birthday for Matt. We ended up staying up until after 1 in the morning and sleeping in way past when we should have. Neither of us got up until 10:30 and didn't even realize that the kids had already been up watching cartoons for an hour. (It's not very often that Matt and I stay up that late.......or sleep in that late....)
Tuesday sucked. Matt went back to work and every single time we've spent more than 3 full days together I miss him too much when he goes back to work and I get all emotional. He knew I was going to be a wreck after being home for 10 days so he called me every hour or so to say hi, see how I was doing, and tell me that he missed me and loved me.......which made the day go by much easier but I still missed him like crazy and cried almost every time I talked to him. I'm such a freaking baby. I was real glad when he walked in the door that night though.........now it's Sunday and I'm back to the same old Tia.......which I'm sure Matt is very grateful for even though he does miss all the extra attention he gets when I'm getting all freaky over missing him so much.
We decided to trade Matt's motorcycle for my little brothers ski boat. It's an '81 Cobra and when Matt talked to the guy who originally owned it, he said that when he bought it it topped out around 70 m.p.h. Should be another fun summertime activity for us to do as a family and Matt's pretty happy to have a boat that we'll actually be able to use as opposed to the other ski boat we have sitting in our yard that hasn't seen water in 5 years. The kids are pretty psyched about it and I must admit, I love being on the water so it sounds like a good investment all around. I wasn't sad to see the motorcycle go, even though Matt was a bit, and it's nice to know we have something that ALL of us can use and get enjoyment from instead of just Matt.
Yesterday we celebrated Dakota's 9th birthday and had his pool party. I felt bad for him because only 1 of his friends was able to show up but he still had a good day none the less. Trevor and Derek decided instead of giving him 9 birthday spanking they were just going to throw him in the pool instead. So, they picked him up, swung him back and for a couple times and tossed him in. It was a good way to start the day. Later, Matt, myself, Tara and Teresa decided that it would be a good idea to play a game of volleyball so we spent 2 hours trying to keep the ball in the pool and everybody else spent 2 hours chasing the ball for us every time someone hit it over the side.........thank God for 3 year old who think chasing a ball and throwing it back in the pool is a fun game.
Although most of Kota's friends didn't make it to the party he still had a great time. He ended up with $65 from family, 5 new Bionicles (his new 'thing'), a new go cart from my cousin, all his school supplies and some new school clothes from my parents, new Heely's from my Gram, and numerous other things that would take too long to write down. And then to top it all off, Matt and I told him that for his birthday we are taking him and one friend to see a Mariners game, go to the Seattle Aquarium, and to The Old Spaghetti Factory (his favorite place to eat) for dinner. He was ecstatic and kept telling us that this was the best summer ever and that we were the greatest parents ever ever ever!!!.......aaaaawwwwww!!!!

So, that's the jist of what's been going on with us lately. Matt and the kids just left to head over to G.I. Joe's to pick up some more fishing tackle and then we're headed back out on the bay again for a little fishing and crabbing.......yum. Hopefully I won't get as wet this time but if I do, oh well, it always makes the kids smile so I don't mind.......even if I do get cold.......

I Miss Him So Much

2007-07-20T20:49:00.000-07:00

Matt's a workaholic. I know that. He has been a workaholic since day one. I'm proud of him. He supports his family solely on his own so I can be home with the kids. He tries really hard and moved up in his company very fast. Plus, he owns a thriving business that keeps him more than busy and brings in the extra money that we appreciate having.........but dang it I miss him!!
Over the last year, Matt has been making it a point to try and be home for dinner 3-4nights a week, be here every Thursday after work instead of going out to the mill, and refuses to work on Sundays........until recently. Over the last few months, he's getting back to the Matt that was never home for dinner, worked so much he's basically a zombie, coming in the door just in time to kiss the kids goodnight (and sometimes not even that), and informing me that he's working instead of going to church or coming to family functions...... and we miss him. I know it's just because it's summertime and the days are longer. He's been working so much at Oeser, 50 - 60 hours a week, and because the days are longer and it's still light, he'll go out to the mill and work out there too. I just miss him.
But, all that is being forgotten starting today at 5 o'clock. His vacation starts today!! I'm so happy. He has promised that he won't work during his vacation even though we aren't going anywhere special. We should be getting our pool this week, and between that, seeing a couple movies, and taking the kids and showing them what little ole Whatcom County has to offer to tourists, we should be pretty busy over the next week.
I'm really looking forward to it. It's not very often that we get to just hang out as a family for more than one afternoon. Every summer the kids and I really look forward to Matt taking his vacation because we just get to be with him.
When he's not here I miss him complaining because I didn't fold the clothes and they're sitting on the couch.....again. I miss him coming in and being a niusance while I'm trying to read the kids their bedtime story. I miss him arguing with me on why his stupid hunting shows are educational television for a hunters wife. I miss him stealing my ice tea, messing up the living room because he's wrestling with the kids right after it's been cleaned, throwing things at me to get my attention, and hiding his feet when I walk by for fear of me tickling the bottoms of them. I just plain miss him.
I'm so glad vacation starts today!

A Crazy Life

2007-07-13T19:33:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted a new blog, and because I'm, again, running a bit short on time, I'll try to make this short. (I really will try........no......really, I will) Just gonna recap the last few weeks so I can have it in my personal journal.
So, most of you know that on June 29, our 'crazy' neighbor died. He passed away that morning being worked on by paramedics. Here's the jist of what happened. Kelly woke up to get Jeff off to work but he wouldn't get out of bed. She tried and tried and then noticed a gurgling sound coming from him. He started throwing up blood and she called 911. He died from an enlarged heart that literally exploded spilling blood into his lungs essentially drowning him. He would have been 36 years old 3 days after he died. The sad thing is that it was caused from a delayed reaction to a drug overdose.......just another example why drugs are NOT OKAY.......EVER.
As of right now, Kelly is under investigation and it sounds like they are turning the whole thing into a possible homicide investigation. (Just so you know, Kelly DID NOT kill Jeff. It was found that he had large amounts of methadone in his system and because of domestic dispute allegations from the past, it is common practice for them to investigate the spouse/partner.) They want to know where Jeff got the drugs because they are basically saying that the enlarged heart and everything that was caused because of that was because of the drugs he had in his system.
Most of you already know the past history between Jeff and Kelly, and Matt and I, especially if you were here for the Halloween party last year. I've had nothing to do with Jeff since then even though he had made several attempts to put the past behind us. It was not easy for him knowing I wasn't forgiving him and it was not easy for me not forgiving him.
Since Jeff's death, Kelly and I have spent A LOT of time together. We've have talked about the 'good Jeff' and the 'bad Jeff'. I explained to Kelly that the main reason I had such a hard time forgiving Jeff had nothing to do with the fight between him and Matt.......that would have been easy to forgive, and it made the night memorable and makes a great story........it was the death threat to my husband that I could not forgive. I told her that I didn't understand Jeff, and although the good Jeff seemingly was a a great guy, the bad Jeff scared the hell out of me.......really really scared me and I didn't know how to handle that. So, I removed all of us from the situation....I also explained that it was hard for me to forgive him because I didn't trust him. Surprisingly, she understood all of it and said that she never blamed me for the decisions I made.
Kelly and I have come to know each other quite well over the last several days and the day after Jeff died, we sat and talked for almost 5 hours, and when she left, we parted new friends. It's crazy how things work out. She's having a really tough time right now, fighting over stupid stuff with his family, dealing with two very distraught children of her own, and trying to be a friend to Jeff's 4 children by his ex wife.
I have always believed that God gives mom's a reserve and a stregth that he gives no other. The ability to draw out more, when there is nothing more to draw from. The stregth to keep on going, to take care of everyone else, while putting herself on the back burner. Kelly is doing that now. And, considering the circumstances, she's handling it all like a champ..........She's a mom. Please keep her and her kids in your prayers as well as Jeff's family and his 4 kids. Three girls and 1 little boy. They could use the prayers and the peace.
I hope all of you had a great 4th of July. We had a bunch of family and friends out here for the day and it was so great. We had a ton a food that everybody shared, and we sat outside and played and talked all day long. My brothers made various fruit bombs competing against the neighbors for the biggest boom. I think it was a draw until we decided to make a huge sparkler bomb to shove through the center of a watermelon..........the neighbors are still picking fruit salad off of their roof.
Matt's vacation starts on the 20th and we are looking forward to that tremendously. We were going to take the kids on a big camping trip but have, instead decided, on buying a big pool with all the bells and whistles. (Including a heater so we can use it in the winter.) This excited the kids so much because now they can have pool parties for their birthdays......Well, that's what Kota wants now, we're still trying to talk Montana into it because she is still stuck on Chuck E. Cheese........ugh. I finally got the okay from Matt and should be able to order the pool tomorrow.........24' round........WOO HOO!!
Got a busy couple weeks coming up. Tonight we have a party, to celebrate Jeff's life, over at Kelly's place and then Matt has to be at his first softball game tomorrow morning at 9. He's got a tournament and is gauranteed to have to play at least 3 games and, depending on how well they do, could have to play as many as 7 games.......all in one day. At least it's supposed to be a bit overcast tomorrow so he shouldn't die of heat exhaustion.
Then on Sunday, my neice Hannah Banana, turns 1 year old........can you believe she's a year old already!!? Wow! We're going to spend the day out at the Lynden City Park BBQing and celebrating. That should be fun and the kids always have a blast since they have redone the park. They'd live there if we let them....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANNAH BANANA!!!
LOOK AT THOSE BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES. ISN'T SHE GORGEOUS?!<a

My project this week is to make sure the house is all spic and span for Matt's vacation........my major project being my bedroom. It's a mess. So many stuff gets stored in there and i just need to get rid of a bunch of crap. I'm hoping to get my bedroom and the guest room all dunged out this week and lookin' spiffy.
Then, Matt starts his vacation on Friday. Saturday, we have a HUGE family reunion with my mom's side of the family. I'm sure most of you remember when I was having such hard time because my Gram was in the hospital fighting for her life. Well, she's doing great now but while she was in the hospital, we all realized that there was so much family that we were so close to at one point, that we don't see anymore. Many of my family have not even met Matt or the kids yet. So, my mom decided it was time for a family reunion. I'm actually quite excited about it. I love showing off my hubby and kids and I'm so glad they get to meet some of the really great people I grew up with. So, that should be a lot of fun.

THE THREE KAMMERER SISTERS: DOLORES, DOROTHY, & ELSIEMY BEAUTIFUL GRAM
THE KAMMERER GIRLS AND SPOUSES: RED & ELSIE, DOROTHY & ROY, BILL & DEE (MY GRAM AND GRAMPS)
THE 3RD & 4TH GENERATIONS OF THE KAMMERER FAMILY
JUST A FAMILY FRIENDLY GAME OF TEXAS HOLD 'EM......MAN WE CAN GET REALLY NASTY WITH EACH OTHER WHEN MONEY IS INVOLVED.

Then, the following week, Matt and I plan on taking the kids to do some interesting and fun stuff right here in the good old PNW. Show them that you don't have to leave the state every summer to have fun.........any suggestions? I'm thinking of a whale watching tour out of B'ham, which might be fun for the kids, and maybe a ferry ride through the San Juans........don't know for sure yet but we're going to enjoy ourselves.
Hhhmmm........what else is new around here?.........I am going to start working back at my church as a secretary sometime in the next week or two. It's volunteer and I'll only be going in a couple of days a week but it's nice to have that break from home once in a while. Dakota and Amy's Kaleb are going to start spending Wednesday's at The Boys & Girls Club, which is now being held in my church, so I can let them go play while I take care of business. Kota's way excited about it and is happy that Kaleb is going to be there with him..........Um.........the kids are still having a blast on Wednesday nights riding horses out at Tim Brinkley's place (Jodee's brother). He's teaching them to ride and now I have both the kids breathing down my neck about buying a horse..........eventually........eventually..............

DAKOTA RIDING HORSES

MONTANA RIDING HORSES

Well, I think that's all that's new with us right now. I'm sure there is stuff I've forgotten but that will have to be put off until next time. My time is short and I've got things to do......
I hope this post finds all of you happy and enjoying the sunshine and summer. Hope you have a great one.

Busy Busy Busy.......It's A Long One!

2007-06-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

Other than the letter that we wrote for Dad for Father's Day, it's been a while since I blogged about what was going on around here.....so here goes.
Last Monday morning, I was folding clothes in my living room and heard a dog barking close to the house. At first, I didn't think much about it because our dogs always bark, but then noticed that the sound was coming from the front of the house and the bark sounded deep but not like Stalker. So, I finally got up to check out what was going on.
It was Miller, the neighbor dog. He had come over and was in a standoff with Phantom. By the looks of it, he was trying to get to the kittens and Phantom was not going to let him. She stood her ground and she stood it well. He finally went after her and grabbed her in his mouth and started flinging her around. I ended up having to go in and get the broom and beat him with it to get him to leave. He ran back to his house with me screaming at him the whole way.
Later that night we realized that Phantom wasn't fairing well and Matt called Jeff and Kelly to let them know what their dog had done. They were very cooperative with us.
They apparently have had 'attack' problems with Miller before (he's bitten 2 little boys previously) and because he is a pit bull, legally, they had to turn him into the Humane Society. They also ended up taking Phantom to the all night animal hospital. This was just before 10:30 or so, them assuring me that the woman they were taking her to was a wonderful vet and would make sure she got the proper care.
The vet called me at right around midnight to let me know that Phantom was going to be fine. She had stitched the hole in her left side and the gash on her underbelly. She had also given her some pain meds and anti-inflammatory meds because her spine was 'severely swollen' but she would be fine and we could come and get her in the morning. Basically, she stated to me that because Phantom was a house cat and had never been faced with a dog before, she was in shock over the ordeal but that it was trauma that would subside......and when I asked her, "What about internally? Does she have any internal injuries?" She said, "No. She has no internal injuries that we can tell and I'm sure that after a night of rest with no kitties pawing at her, she'll be good as new. Cats are very resilient animals."
I was overjoyed and went in to wake up Dakota to tell him that his cat was going to be home in the morning. He was relieved and I was happy to see that there would be no more tears to wet his pillow.
I was wrong.......or should I say, the vet was wrong. I woke up at 7 the next morning to a call from the vet stating that Phantom had had a seizure at 6 that morning and had passed away. When I asked her why that had happened she said that when she didn't start getting better by 3 a.m. they finally did an X-Ray......Although on the phone the night before she had told me there was no internal injuries, implying she had already done an X-Ray, she had lied to me. It revealed that Phantom's intestine had a whole in it and was leaking, basically poisoning her little body, and she also had several lacerations of the intestinal wall.........Stupid stinking vet. Had she done her job properly, Phantom may still be alive.
We took Phantom out to my parents house and buried her with all the other animals that have died over the years since I was a child. It comforted Dakota a bit to know that she was being buried with my pets and he and Matt made a beautiful little coffin for her out of cedar and Dakota carved out a wooden headstone that had a picture of a cat in the bottom right corner and a paw in the top left corner. In the center it said:

Phantom - March 2006~June 2007

Dakota was very proud of it and although it hurt to bury such an awesome cat, it made it a bit easier knowing that we have a few of her kittens to remind us of her. And Flame, one of the new additions, is exactly like her mother was when she was a kitten. She's so incredibley close in personality, to Phantom, that if Phantom had died before Flame was born, I might just believe that she was her mother reincarnate......LOL

QUEEN PHANTOM ~ AKA ~ CAT RETARDO

And he tried to convince me when we got Phantom that he does not like cat's. Hate's them.............I don't know......do you believe him?

Thursday, my dad took the kids out to see a movie which left Matt and I with the whole evening to ourselves.......something that hasn't happened in a long time. He surprised me with taking me out for a birthday dinner and we finally chose a new wedding ring for me. It's beautiful! We chose a 3 stone princess cut aquamarine with 3 diamond chip accents on either side, set in white gold. It's gorgeous! I walked out of the store on cloud nine and was even happier when Matt promised to take me to get it sized the next day.
Friday, my sister showed up with a blindfold and told me she had no idea what it was for but that Matt had called her that morning and asked her to come and drop it off with me. I was confused and when I called Matt he wouldn't tell me what was going on. When he got home he told me we weren't going to go and size my ring that night but not to worry we would soon and made me put the blindfold on. Said he was taking me someplace special but would not give me the slightest clue as to what we were doing.......I thought he was just being a goofball and we were going to end up at the Olive Garden or Mykonos for dinner with pre-planned dinner and flowers already sitting at the table or something.
Much to my surprise, I walked into a restaraunt filled with a bunch of my friends and family. He and my sister had planned a surprise party for me and I had had no clue. Not in the slightest......it's hard to pull one over on me but they did it effectively and none of my friends even let on in the slightest what was going on. I was completely shocked and started crying as I made my way around hugging people. I had a great time and just wish that I had had more time to sit around and enjoy everybody's company.

Me & Shel at my surprise 30th Birthday Party

ONE MORE TIME, THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO CAME OUT AND MADE IT SO SPECIAL FOR ME AND THANKS TO ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR HEARTFELT BIRTHDAY WISHES. IT MEANT SO MUCH TO ME.

MATT~ YOU ARE THE MOST INCREDIBLE WONDERFUL LOVING HUSBAND IN THE WORLD AND I THANK GOD FOR YOU EVERY DAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO FOR ME. I LOVE YOU.......FOREVER AND ALWAYS.....I PROMISE. YOU ARE MY PERFECT PUZZLE PIECE.

TARA~ YOU ARE THE GREATEST SISTER IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. I COULD NEVER HAVE ASKED GOD FOR A BETTER ONE. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIME TO PLAN SOMETHING THAT MADE ME SO HAPPY. YOU ARE AWESOME AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

Saturday we had my neices 3rd birthday party. She had a princess themed party and all the little girls came dressed as their favorite princess......there were 3 Snow White's including the birthday girl herself.....LOL. They had a cute cake made to look like a princess, a pinata which was filled with a ton of candy, and they even had each of the kids bring a broken toy that was put behind a 'magic door' and then turned into a brand new toy. Montana got a very cute mini tea set with lady bugs on it that she can't get enough of, and Dakota got a bag full of boy toys.....including a pirate sword that makes 'chinking' sounds and cool boy noises.......LOL. It was really a great party and the kids had a really wonderful time. Before we left I went to my neice and gave her a hug and kiss and said to her, "You were the greatest birthday present I ever got." Her response?........"You too Tia."........then she proceeded to yell at Dakota for taking her sword......
Sunday we woke up and gave Matt his cards for Father's Day. (We would have given him his present too but he had scoped that out on Friday night by accident. We had gotten him a subscription to Eastman's Hunting Journal which he was eccstatic about and are still getting him the Rodney Atkins CD he wanted but couldn't find before Father's Day. ) Then we headed to church where we stood in front of everyone and read a letter we had written to my dad. It was hard to do but so worth it because it described what a wonderful dad he's been to all of us and how much we love him. He liked it very much and was pleased when we gave it to him in scroll form afterwards.
We ran home after church to finish getting ready for company. We had my whole family over for dinner. Which was to be my gift to all the dad's in the family. We had ham and mashed potatoes, snacks and desert, and handed out cards to all the wonderful dad's that we had here........you know, I'm pretty lucky because there are some really special guys in my family. Not just the dad's but all the guys in my family. So caring, loving, and wonderful role models for my son to look up to.
Monday, Matt had a double header to play and although the games were close and tough, our team ended up winning both games in the last inning. It was a blast to watch but the kids were definately ready for bed when we got home at 10:30. So, we put them to bed and then Matt and I spent the next hour and a half removing the rest of our stuff out of the living room so that the carpet cleaners would have an empty room to work in on Tuesday morning.
Tuesday night we had a graduation for my cousin Matthew at 7 which was just about the same time the carpet was going to be dry and when we could put all the furniture back in. So, we went to Matthew's graduation and then out for dinner afterward. THEN, we came home and put the kids to bed, THEN we finally got to hall all of the furniture back in the room.....It was a very late night and I was exhausted from hauling furniture by the time I got to bed.
I spent yesterday cleaning house and playing with Montana and then when Matt got home from work his dad came and spent the evening with us. We BBQ'd steaks and just hung out for the evening. Kinda nice after going going going for the past two weeks......and we're back at it tonight. When Matt gets home we're going to get the kids ready to go and then head to Anacortes for dinner and to haul a new mill home that Matt and Dad bought. I'm not sure why they bought it but I think I've heard them saying something about hooking the mills together in order to make longer lumber and longer beams for selling......all I do know for sure is that Matt is very excited about it.
So, that's it up to now. Like I said, "Busy busy busy." And it will probaby just get busier. It always does when summer rolls around. But, at least it's the fun kind of busy. No school, BBQ's, picnic's, overnighters, and camping trips, partyies, nights out with friends......Man! I'm so glad it's finally here!!.......WOO HOO!!!
Oh yeah.........and I still haven't gotten my ring sized yet.
HAPPY FIRST DAY OF SUMMER EVERYONE!!!

A Letter To Our Dad

2007-06-16T18:00:00.000-07:00

Dad,
There are so many things to say to you that we hardly know where to begin. So, instead, we'd like to thank you for many of the things you've done for us.

Thank you for always making time for us, even when you were so busy.

Thank you for always working with Mom to come up with wonderful family vacations, full of activity, fun, and time that we'll never ever forget.

Thank you for burying us in the sand up to our necks, and then telling us the sand crabs were going to pinch us, then laughing when we couldn't wriggle free.

Thank you for always being there to help us when we came to you, and even when we didn't.

Thank you for showing us the spiders in the tub, flipping off the light, and holding the door closed until we screamed like banshees, and thank you more for letting us out.

Thank you for showing us what it's like to have a father who always loved our mother, and showed us how a good marriage is supposed to be.

Thank you for helping us learn to grow up to be respectable human beings that we can be proud of.

Thank you for showing us that lending a helping hand to a friend, or taking someone out for lunch can be greater than any gift given.

Thank you for coming into our rooms at 5 in the morning just to let us know that you were up and in the living room and everything was fine, then bragging about it to you bible study buddies.

Thank you for giving each of us a special day each year, and making us feel like we were your favorite.

Thank you for showing us that rambo doesn't always win when you have a chainsaw, that a prettier world may come at the expensed of falling off of a horse and getting a concussion, and letting sleeping dogs lie can really save a hurt finger.

Thank you for making us laugh when we were so sad. You and hand-thumb make quite a pair.

Thank you for the piggy back rides to bed, the songs sang in the car, the stupid jokes that make us all laugh, coaching an elementary football team, the movies, the embarrassing moments in front of friends, family, boyfriends and girlfriends, for giving us the opportunity to trade all the money in our wallets for all the money in yours, and the 6 a.m. wake up calls from a dead sleep by grabbing our sleeping bags and swinging us around by our ankles.

Basically, thanks for being the most incredible father 4 kids could ever ask for. You mean more to us than we could ever tell you and we're all so thankful that God chose us to be your kids. The love and respect we all share for you is immeasurable and we're all so thankful for everything you've done to make us into the adults we are today. We only hope that you can be as proud of us as we are of you.

We love you.
Pudge, Tiger, Pumpkin, and Chucky